Hi, we wanted to add to the excellent Posts from Margareth concerning the Interview Process with a Colombian lady that we feel would be very helpful to those of you searching for a foreign bride.

The interview process to try to get to know another person in a short period of time, especially with a foreign woman, can be very challenging.  Language and cultural differences can add to this difficulty.  Most of our interviews at Colombian Sweethearts last between 1 hour to 1 ½ hours.  It is of course very important to meet the lady in person so that both of you can see body language, chemistry and personality and to also see the honesty of the lady in wanting to marry a foreign husband.  

The majority of Latin women are of a very high quality, especially in the aspects of beauty, femininity, affection and family values.  As an American and the owner of an Agency, this is why I am in South America, also confident I will find that special woman here.  Colombian Sweethearts does its best to prescreen and “weed out” the dishonest women or proverbial “gold diggers,” but you will have to spend time with the lady to get to know her, her family and friends.  We do not ever recommend a “weekend” engagement or marriage.

We believe it is important to make the best use of this first meeting time with the lady and ask specific questions that will help to see if both of you are equally compatible and if she is a candidate for further interviews and meetings.

We also recommend you start the interview by speaking first with a brief biography of yourself, what you are looking for and why you came to that Agency to find a foreign bride.  This will put the lady at ease and also as Margareth said:

“Don't make the appointment look like a job interview, try to make a pleasant conversation”

Below is a list of recommended questions we have started giving our clients that may be helpful for those in your search for that special woman.  

We also recommend that the same questions below that you ask the lady should also be answered by you to her.

QUESTIONS:

1.  Do you live with your parents?

WHY ASK THIS?  Most ladies will answer YES, but if a girl lives on her own or with a friend, it would be good to ask WHY she decided to live on her own and even HOW she supports herself.  There may be a simple answer such as her parents live in a near by Pueblo and there was more opportunity for her to move into the city to study or work.  This also may uncover any problems in the family, a very independent character in the girl or something she may be hiding.  It also is more accepted in the culture of Bogotá for ladies to live on their own whereas ladies from Medellín tend to live with their parents until they get married.

2.  Tell me about your Family?  

WHY ASK THIS?  This is important of course to know how the girl has grown up as this will have been a major influence in molding her values and even character.

3.  Do you have brothers, sisters?
   
WHY ASK THIS?  See the following question and “Why Ask This“?

4.  Are you very close with your parents and brother and sisters?

WHY ASK THIS?  This basic question will also give you insight into the girls family and how she has grown up, and insight into her character based on the details of how she describes her relationship with her siblings.

5.  Why did you decide to join this Marriage Agency?

WHY ASK THIS?  This will give you girl’s motivations, what she is looking for, as well as possibly any hidden agenda’s.

6.  What is your opinion of Colombian men?

WHY ASK THIS?  This also will tell you the girl’s motivations for joining the Agency and what she does or does not like about a man‘s character.

7.  Are Colombian men good husbands or boyfriends?

WHY ASK THIS?  This again will tell you what is important in a man’s character to the lady as well as what she likes or dislikes about how a man treats her.  This also will identify any difficulties she may have in relationships.

8.  What are your Hobbies?

WHY ASK THIS?  Important to see if there are common interests between you and her.

9.  What are your goals or dreams for the future?

WHY ASK THIS?  This is a very important question to see what the girl has planned and expects to accomplish in her life whether it is to have her children within two years, finish the university and then work etc.  This question can be used to compare to what your goals and motivations are for the future.

10.  Do you want to have children?

WHY ASK THIS?  Self explanatory

11.  When would you like to have children?

WHY ASK THIS?  Important to compare to your motivations and expectations to have children.

12.  If you could live in another country which one would you like to live in and why?

WHY ASK THIS?  This will tell you what she likes about various cultures and her personality.  Also, this may uncover any hidden agendas.

13.  Would you prefer to live in your own country or a foreign country if you married a foreigner?

WHY ASK THIS?  This will tell you if the girl is prepared or thought about leaving her own country and family to live with you.  Any family oriented woman should be reluctant to leave her family and country but will do so with a loving husband she knows will be good to her.

14.  Have you had other interviews at the Agency?

WHY ASK THIS?  Good to see the girl honesty and lead-in to the next question.

15.  What did you think about these men you have met?

WHY ASK THIS?  This will give you a good idea once again what type of man she is looking for.

16.  What are your 3 BEST QUALITIES and 3 WORST QUALITIES?

WHY ASK THIS?  This is a very important question!  This will give you a very clear look into the girl’s personality.  Most ladies will be very glad to answer this and this question will tell you exactly what her personality traits are.

17.  Ask the Lady if she like some of your Hobbies.

FOR EXAMPLE:  “Do you like to read books?”  “Do you like to go out to eat dinner?”

WHY ASK THIS?  This will tell if she is interested in your hobbies or even interested in trying some of your hobbies.

18.  Ask the Lady personality and interest questions relative to what is important to you about a woman.

FOR EXAMPLE:  “Do you like to cook or do you want to learn to cook?”  “Are you a very neat person?”  “Do you like to go out a lot or do you prefer to stay at home?”

WHY ASK THIS?  This will tell you exactly whether she has some of the personality characteristics you are looking.

19.  Do you have a boyfriend now?

WHY ASK THIS?  This is an important question, as sometimes the answer is YES!  To have a man to Colombian women is an very important part of their life.  They often have boyfriends that are more of friends than the “love of their life” but this as an important thing to know and investigate if she answers YES.

20.  Why did you and your last boyfriend break up?

WHY ASK THIS?  This will give you insight into her last relationship and her personality based on what she says were the good and bad parts of her relationship.

21.  Do you have children?

WHY ASK THIS?  This should be known before the interview starts, but is good to verify and a lead-in for the follow-on question.

22.  If you have children, what is their and your relationship with their Father?

WHY ASK THIS?  This is important to know, especially since you will most probably be taking her and her children out of her country and away from their father.

Please contact us through our website with any other comments or questions.  

We wish you the Best of Luck in the search for the Woman of your Dreams!

Best regards,
Steve Valdez, Owner
www.colombiansweethearts.com

I don't want to sound like a smartass but they really
are commonsense things.  For a marriage to work you
HAVE to have more in common than good sex, "chemistry"
physical attraction.  You have to share the
aspirations in life, expectations from life,
expectations from the other, some kind of intellectual
parity, values, interests, etc.

The only thing is that I think calling it an
"interview" was a poor choice of words but all the same,
great stuff.

Michael

The answers to the questions are not as important as the chemistry.  If I enjoy talking to the women, I'll probably want to take her out again.  The only thing I'm trying to decide is if this is someone I'd really like to get to know.  

The only questions you must ask on the first date are "deal breaker" questions like those relating to children.  I know I ddin't want a relationship with someone who wanted children and I knew if I was with someone who wanted children it could never work.  If a woman already had a child I didn't ever consider this an essential question.

If a lady is taking several hours out of her day (remember, she isn't on vacation), honor her by chatting with her and getting to know her; concentrate on feelings, not facts.  Just my opinion.  

I appreciate all of your information.  I have a tendency to ask the ladies a lot of questions anyway; so this really helps. My feelings are that if the lady is interested and sincere, she will be happy to answer my questions.  Your list has confirmed that even more for me. I already have a membership with your agency, and you and I have spoken on the phone before.  I am Kerby, from Oklahoma.  Right now, I am a little frustrated because I was saving some money for my trip, and was pretty close on my schedule as well.  But, then, I had some unexpected extra expenses that came up.  I will still be coming to Colombia, but I have had to postpone my trip for a short while.  I will be contacting your agency again soon when I know more about when I can actually travel there.  But, to get back to the questions you suggested.  My feelings are that even though I want to learn as much about the ladies as I can, I think that your staff members, or staff from other agencies should be asking as much of these type of questions as possible during your initial "screening process". I say that because I don't think most of the other agencies even know their girls.  Maybe there is just too many to stay up with; but if your agency is at least doing some preliminary interviews, then you are in a position to make some recommendations to men like me.  I have some limited experience with another agency in Cali.  For the most part, they are helpful.  But, I find that when I start to ask some very specific questions, they don't either know, or are hestitant to ask.  Since I don't speak spanish yet, I must depend on someone that can help me.  My opinion is that in the initial meeting and interview process with a lady; I do not want to be concerning myself with stumbling through a few simple phrases of spanish. At that point, I am trying to "get inside her head".  I believe that is what you was referring to with your list.  But, I also agree with you that it should not appear to be similar to a police interrogation. I also realize that we americans are probably more direct in our approach than latinas are used to. That's where the staff can really help.  That way, I can concentrate on being interesting and charming, etc.
Well, I am looking forward to more helpful hints from you and Margareth, and others that have more experience than I.

                           OkieMan

                         OkieMan

                       OkieMan