Christmas Eve and Humbug!

[OkieMan]

I do not have as interesting a story as Brazilophile.  But, while I have the time available, I wanted to share with the board a little bit of what has happened to me over the last few months, and in particular, on Christmas Eve.  At this point, I would like to enter a distinctive remark first uttered by Ebenezar Scrooge--  Bah Humbug!
I come from a close family, but I must say that I have been somewhat mystified by my family's reaction.  I could see many other families reacting in this manner, but naturally, I thought my family would be different; at least, somewhat different.
To start, I want to go back and comment about when I came back from my trip to Cali, in August.  Like Brazilophile, I had went to Cali without my family's knowledge.  At this point, I would want to quickly point out that I am 51, divorced, and I have 3 grown sons.  So, I live alone.  So, it was not too difficult for me to "sneak out" on a trip.  Naturally, I did not know how it would go.  I was my very first trip of this nature, so I had no clue what was really going to happen.  For the most part, I had a wonderful experience, and throughly enjoyed myself.  I was somewhat disappointed that the lady I thought was going to continue a relationship with me, did not.(special note: I later found out that Pete had also dated this latina).  But, since we had only met, there was not a lot to lose.  At any rate, when I got home, everyone was trying to find out where I had been.  So, at that point, I decided to tell my sons, my parents, brother and sisters, etc.  For the most part, they were supportive.  But, I noticed an odd quirk that developed.  If I was talking to some family member by themselves, they were sweet and supportive, but if I talked to several, together in a room, they would become goofy, and started to tease, laugh, etc.  In general, they would try to make fun of me, and almost demean the whole situation.  I know their hearts are in the right place, but this reaction was painful!  On Christmas Eve, at this particular time, none of my sons were there.  So, it was my brother and his wife, my parents, and some others.  But, in my opinion, they started to go back into the tease, laugh and demean mode, and I really got P.O.ed!  I later apologized to my brother and sister-in-law, but my sister-in-law and my dad were the two worst!  They probably were just trying to have fun with it, but it was very uncomfortable for me.  So, I let it be known that I will not be having anymore "group" discussions of this nature.  Like I said, one on one, they are fine.  I have no idea what has gone on with any of you other posters.  I might add that my sons have always been very sweet and supportive, but I have mixed feelings about the rest of the family.  If any of you other posters have any stories to share of this type of experience, I would like to hear it.  Good or bad, it would probably be insightful to us all.  Happy New Year to all.  For my part, I am hopeful that 2005 will be the year I finally meet that "special lady".  Best of luck to you all.

                             OkieMan

[valleydude]

... in response to  Christmas Eve and Humbug!, posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

I have never really cared about what they said on this and I usually tell people when they are talking behind my back... "Just make it good!" "I need some excitement in my life!"

I kind of did something similar to what KB did... I just kept a handy dandy TLC brochure in my car and pulled it out when convienently needed. HaHa! Most of the men, quickly turned and supported me. Whether they really do, I don't care. I know that they are secretly wondering though.

I threw a new twist on an old joke...

You know, the coffee one. (No I don't mean this offensive)

When someone in the office asks about coffee, "I'll say I like my coffee like my women!" Someone usually interupts and very dully says "Black haha we know" then I say "No Colombian!"

Hey that's mine! Don't go taking my lines!!!

All in all there is no teasing or demeaning if you throw it out in the open and you are comfortable with what you are doing.

Have Fun

V-Dude

[Pete E]

... in response to  Christmas Eve and Humbug!, posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

My family is suppotive,but I heard of one person who was critical and another who I think is behind my back.All I can say is I don't want what they have.Another casual friend says " Whats thematter,can't findawoman here." I said not what I'm looking for.While tempted to add if I was willing to take  what you did no problem.Some guys just like stability more than adventure and are not that visual I guess.Some guys are jealous because they DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO DO IT.So they knock others that do.
I can immagine the little joking side about it.There is some underlying critisism in that.ITS YOUR LIFE.Ignore it or just realise its not as important as getting what you want.I like Kiltboys approach with the photos.Even better show them the woman.But then they will say things like your communication is so limited.AND if you do split,like me,they can say AH HAH.Told you so.Proves them right?well maybe,temporarily.But even my failed marriage was awhole lot better than nothing,which is what I had before.And here I am again.Living in Cali.I would not trade placeswith any family or friends in the US.The only ones that have alot going for them are also married to Calinas.
I am trying to remember the girl you are talking about.Good looking but hard to figure?Get the impresnion you were being jerked around? I can't stand that anymore and you don't have to put up with it,there are so many other choices.Even living here it took me awhile to discover how many choices I have.No need to tolerate any BS.I not only want no BS,but she better show some real interest or I am gone.Kisses on the cheek good for only one date.Bring the kid on the date,see ya.After that it better get hot and heavy or Adios.2 new girls I met are trying to digest that.One keeps calling.Sorry.Not worth my time.I'm too busy with girls that are hot for me.

Pete

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to  Christmas Eve and Humbug!, posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

I had the same problem with my family and friends, that is until i pull out the photos of the maybe 100 Colombian woman i have been photographed with in the past 3 years. Then i say, some people like BMW'S, Some JAG'S

Me, I like my COLOMBIAN WOMEN FRIENDS.

That always shuts them up

Then i get to smile and they look at each other and see how really boring there relationships are and then it is like 50 questions about Colombia, the people, the women , the country.

I love to turn the tables on them

NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL FUNNNNNNNNNN !!!!

KB

[Looking4Wife]

... in response to Re:   Christmas Eve and Humbug!, posted by Kiltboy1 on Dec 27, 2004

.

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re:   Christmas Eve and Humbug!, posted by Kiltboy1 on Dec 27, 2004

Hey Kiltboy,
I can't argue with you on that point.  But, I am not as far down the road as you.  I do have a few photos that I can show, and I have to a few members of my family.  However, as I had indicated; the lady that I spent the most time with down there did not follow through with our emails after I left.  I received a couple of emails with some "phoney" excuses, or at least I felt that I was being given the runaround.  After I talked to Pete by email, I found out that he had dated the same girl, and she had basically done him the same way.  So, I am corresponding with some other ladies, but I feel that I am  more knowledgable about things in Colombia now.  So, when I go back in a few months, I should be able to see through the "players" and go for the ladies that are sincere.  Also, I will probably be spending at least some of my time in Medellin this next trip.  Naturally, there are still some unknown factors at this point.  But, I have been in contact several times with the Colombian Sweethearts Agency in Medellin.  Based on what many of the posters here have said, they seem to think that the ladies in Medellin are a better qualitity, and less likely to be "party girls".  If so, that will suit me just fine.  So, I guess time will tell.   Thanks for your comments.

                          OkieMan

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re:   Christmas Eve and Humbug!, posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

I have found that it is pointless and not worth your time to write agency girls, they just do not respond. I also know for a fact that there is/was and agency that would sell memberships for writing the women, and you would get some responses for sure, but they were from the secretaries writing you back making you think they are the ladies on the website. Very dishonest and i lost what little respect for the owner i had at that point. It is better to use an amigos.com or other personals site, get them to have a webcam with you so you know they are who they say they are. i have had a lot of success with the personal sites and have met many women that way. The reasons they did not work out are varied, but no because they became disinterested or misrepresented themselves.

Good Luck

MDE women are very nice , you will like them a lot.

KB

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Re: Re:   Christmas Eve and Humbug!, posted by Kiltboy1 on Dec 27, 2004

Thanks for the insightful comments, but now you have my curiousity really going.  What type of experiences did you have in Medellin?  The more I hear about the city and the women, the more I want to go. Naturally, I am trying to be as informed and prepared as I can.  As far as using agencies; at this point, I don't have a lot of choices.  I don't speak spanish, and I won't be able to stay more than a week to 10 days at a time.  After that, then I will have to see.   I am trying to learn more spanish, but that takes time. I hope that soon I can get something going with one special lady, and I can drop all of the other junk.  But, as has been said, this is alot of trial and error.

                            OkieMan

[kented]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re:   Christmas Eve and Humb..., posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

I don't think many ladies involved in the process like E-mails as a way of starting a relationship.  There are two many men who want pen pals but don't have a passport.

Agencies are the best way to MEET women during a short trip and that is the way to go.  Just my opinion.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:   Christmas Eve and ..., posted by kented on Dec 28, 2004

You want some respect you got to show up.Otherwise you're just another guy with a computer who may never get his butt on a plane.And Colombianas are not big on long range possibilities.
One lady I heard of got  maybe a hundred mails,only answered the ones that included a picture she liked.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re:   Christmas Eve and Humb..., posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

Let me jab a little fun at my buddy here.The Medellin women are supposed to be conservative but he found one to jump his bones right away.Good looking too.She was my cita,he helped translate,she liked him.Nothing lost,she wouldn't  have jumped me I don't think.Some guys just have it heh KB?

Pete

[roadken]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re:   Christmas Eve and Humb..., posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

Next time ask them to introduce you to someone like you are seeking.Chances are they do not know any women like that.It's not that they don't exist,they are just rare
and/or unattractive.Let's face it,the market In Colombia is just so much superior for men from America.It took me a year and 5 trips to find "Mi Dulce" and another 7 trips to get her here.Very expensive and time consuming but worth every effort and dollar spent.My wife loves ME,not my house,not my car and certainly not my bank account which took a big hit.Sure,I picked the wrong one the first few times.But hey,I did that here for 48 years.Just recognize a mistake,correct it and move on.Colombia is full of attractive ladies who will love you like you want.Just try
to avoid the super hotties and try to keep the age relatively close and your odds improve dramatically.Personally,I would not consider any one below 28 years mostly from a mturity factor.And guys,the gals over 30 will be extremely motivated as the locals won't even consider them.Anyway,for those on the fence or even those who are discouraged.Just go do it.I'm glad I did.
Happy New Year to All.

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Christmas Eve and Humbug!_It's Your ..., posted by roadken on Dec 27, 2004

Hi Roadken,
 Thanks for the positive words.  I see on your profile that you are from Oakland, CA.  I have a lot of relatives in the Bay area.  They used to be mainly in San Pablo, but some have moved away.  I have two aunts and uncles that are retired to northern California.  Well, to get back to the latina thing.  I am undaunted by the things that took place on Christmas Eve.  It's just that I am now more cautious how I discuss this type of thing with them or anyone.  As you might think, I do not tell very many people about this part of my life anyhow.  By nature, I am a very private person; but concerning this, it goes double!  Even with my family, I did not tell them until after my trip to Cali in August.  For the most part they have been very supportive.  I just don't know what happened on Christmas Eve.  I think it was that they were in a goofy mood, with everyone in the room, and they thought this would be a good thing to tease about.  WRONG!  After going through two divorces, etc, I am determined not to keep repeating the same mistakes I made in the past.  Namely, I don't date american women anymore!  I just don't need the crap!  My family knows that, it's just that they do not really understand what I am trying to do- at least that is the way it seems to me.  They can ask the dumbest questions, and it all tells me that they are clueless! On Christmas Eve,when I tried to talk rationally, and serious about it, they just burst out in laughter!  So, my mood went sour fast, and I left!  From now on, I will be very careful what I say and to whom.  But, I have no intention of giving up on my quest for my own "sweet,little, latina"!  Thanks for your interest.

                               OkieMan

[roadken]

... in response to Re: Re: Christmas Eve and Humbug!_It's Y..., posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

I live in Concord which is about 20 miles due east of San Pablo.I am twice divorced as well.I said no more AW.Only a fool keeps repeating his mistakes.It is good you are willing to endure some momentary issues to avoid further pain in yourt life.Most men deserve a sweet loving supportive wife.Just be resolute and smile to yourself when
you see how truly miserable many american men are with the women in their lives.You do have the power to change things.Is it easy,no.Is it inexpensive,no.But it is very doable.If you choose wisely,you will experience something you could only dream about.Live the Dream.Buena suerte!

[JimmySTLOUIS]

... in response to  Christmas Eve and Humbug!, posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

Hey Okie
Dont sweat it. I know family is important but so is being happy.
My family is so small and they all know I do whatever I want so "going international" was no real surprise.
At work they all know about it too and the guys at my work (electricians like me) are all real ball busters.

But I dont get teased because I dont hide it - I flaunt it!

I know its not popular to say it but I hate being alone. I want a sweet and cute girl to share my life with. If anyone wants to try and tease me about it ..... HA HA the laughs on them.

TE AMO PERU!!!!!

jim