You can take a girl out of the city...

[Thunderstruck]

You can take a girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl, so one who wants to live in the country may be better off searching for a country girl, which is more dangerous in Colombia due to FARC. I prefer the city girls in Colombia and Mexico over the country girls because I find then more intelligent, charming, sexy, and worldly, but not as spoiled or jaded as American city girls. In the U.S. I prefer the country girls.

If you dig strippers or hookers, you can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl...

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to You can take a girl out of the city..., posted by Thunderstruck on Dec 27, 2004

My wife lived in Medellin for 25 years. For the past year she has been living with me in a small town an hour outside of San Antonio. No complaints - she loves our house.

[Pete E]

... in response to You can take a girl out of the city..., posted by Thunderstruck on Dec 27, 2004

Myself and all of my friendsthat married Calinas basically got girls wityh absolutely no interest in living in a rural setting.They like cities.The wifeof afriend sdaid she missed listening to all the music she could hear from the streets.
My ex likes San Jose,county population 2.2 million,it kind of all is one big city OK.But even when I took her to Idaho she thought Boise too small and its several hundred thousand now I think.
If you pick a country girl maybe she will be different.But don't even count on that if she has lived in a city awhile.
Christmas eve I was at my girlfriends mothers.We were sitting out on the sidewalk in chairs watching the world go by.It was fun,interesting.More so on New Years when the kids are setting off fireworks,a little of that Christmas Eve.
I was telling them how people in the US just drive in the garage and go in the house and probably only say hi to the neighbors going out to pick up the mail.Whole different world and a big shock to a Colombian city girl.She misses her family,her friends and just all the humanity and activity on the streets.

Pete

[thundernco]

... in response to Re: You can take a girl out of the city...., posted by Pete E on Dec 27, 2004

"Whole different world and a big shock to a Colombian city girl.She misses her family,her friends and just all the humanity and activity on the streets."  Yep, can't stress that enough.  I feel for the guys that get a CalEna and try to take them out to the country somewhere.  I'm sure it works out well from time to time, but I'd bet against it. -TNC

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Re: You can take a girl out of the c..., posted by thundernco on Dec 27, 2004

Thundernco,
Have you had personal experience with bringing a Calena to the States?  Do you know anyone else personally that has?  I am just curious.  This thread is making me more aware that I really need to consider that as I continue to find a latina for myself, in whatever city she lives.

                           OkieMan

[thundernco]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: You can take a girl out of t..., posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

Yes and yes; and as an aside, I don't post on what I don't know or have experience in.  The previous posts are rules of thumb per se but I've found them to be fairly true for the most part.  My wife and I travelled to the states many times before we moved back.  She likes it for vacations, but living here is a different story.  More to the point, she misses her culture, the social interactions, people speaking with their neighbors, things of that nature.  She feels we isolate ourselves from others as a society.  She is here because I chose to make our life here, no other reason than that, and I believe we'll be returning to our place in Cali before too long.  Believe me, the good outweighs the bad in multitudes.  Choose wisely and choose someone compatible with you and your lifestyle and you'll be golden.  

Good luck -TNC

[Red Clay]

... in response to You can take a girl out of the city..., posted by Thunderstruck on Dec 27, 2004

I did it.

Now when we drive through a new subdivision she says, "wow, those houses are too near each other."

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: You can take a girl out of the city...., posted by Red Clay on Dec 27, 2004

Red Clay,
I am curious about your situation, where you live, etc.  You are married to a lady from Peru, right?  What town in Tennessee do you live in or near?  I am from Oklahoma.  I live just outside of town in a suburb of Tulsa.  The metro area here has about 1/2 million people or so.  I have almost 3 acres and I live in a nice neighborhood, but it certainly is not the "big city" life that many of these girls are used to.  So, I am curious about the adjustment your wife made.  I am also curious about hearing from some of the other posters on this board.  Just how big of a factor is this? I am definitely not the big city type, but I am also not a hick either.  Our metro area has alot of cultural events and things available. But, if a latina wants to hear the street noise, like Cali, or New York, Chicago, whatever; it ain't here.  Furthermore, I couldn't stand that.  So, I guess this would definitely go on the compatibility list?

                                OkieMan

[doombug]

... in response to Re: Re: You can take a girl out of the c..., posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

[This message has been edited by doombug]

With the younger women, I think the appeal of a dynamic big city life is greater.

My wife relocated from her birth place, a smallish-sized city in the amazon, to Lima, the capital city in Peru.  As did all three of her sisters.  Only her mother and brother remained back home.  And from what I've been reading here, the same pattern seems to be apparent in Colombia, with an exodus of young women moving to the big cities.  Dreams of modernity, cell phones, and fashion--over that of plucking chickens.

I had a lady friend from Donetsk, Ukraine, who was marrying a gringo who lived in a rural town in South Carolina.  We spoke a lot by phone, before and during her journey here.  She was very upbeat about coming here, and after having passed through such cities as New York, Atlanta--and after having been to Florida with friends (the Disney thing)--she expressed how distressed she felt about living in his home town.  THAT ALONE was the biggest factor for her.  

She returned to Donetsk before her 90 days passed (they were doing a K-1 visa.)

As shallow as it may sound, a lot of these women imagine American life as that portrayed in the media, and taking them to live in a rural setting might come back to haunt you.  I'd suggest making it crystal clear in advance in what setting you'll both share a home.  

Peace out!

[thunderbolt]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: You can take a girl out of t..., posted by doombug on Dec 27, 2004

Exactly the point I was making.

Keep in mind that the girls who join the agencies and actively seek a husband overseas are going to be by definition the girls with an 'I want to leave this town and see the world' mindset.  When people think of US people think of NYC primarily.  (Just as when you think of Brazil you think of Rio.)

[thunderbolt]

... in response to Re: Re: You can take a girl out of the c..., posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

Okie,

just be honest with the girls you will meet and will be talking to, explain to them what living in Tulsa will entail, and then they will decide if that's what they want.  

IMPORTANT NOTE: Just keep in mind that when most people think of US, they think of NYC or Washington, b/c that's what's on TV (maybe in LA also Miami).  So unless you communicate to her really really well that Tulsa is different, she will be in a complete shock, a shock strong enough to put a strain on your relationship.

Regarding noise...  I am from a large city myself, and what people miss about living in one is NOT noise.  It's seeing people, interacting with them, feeling that important events happen where you live, having more options to spend free time and to make friends, etc.  Noise, just like pollution or traffic, is not what people desire, it's what people have to put up with to live in a big city and enjoy its benefits.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Re: You can take a girl out of the c..., posted by OkieMan on Dec 27, 2004

We live 20 minutes Nw of Nashville. Our place is 3 acres also, densely wooded. Can't see the house from the road when the leaves are on the trees. Everyone on the road has some acreage so the houses are hundreds of feet apart. Lots of deer, turkey, squirrels, etc. My wife loves the beauty and the privacy. We have two dogs that watch her when I'm not here. Neighbors are good people, near enough if you need them.

My wife is from Lima from a typical crowded neighborhood, condo-style living with considerable street noise. Now when we visit her family there she comments on how noisy it is compared to here. I'm not sure why she adapted so well. Honestly I think she might be the exception rather than the rule. We know another Peruana/gringo couple here who moved from the country to a new subdivision because it was too quiet for her.

A big factor in this, IMO, is whether she drives/works and can leave the house during the day. That helps her feel less isolated of course. If she is alone during the day, new to the country and stuck at home she could easily feel like she wanted more activity around. My wife was able to drive/work almost immediately after coming here, a huge advantage.

I think in my wife's case the biggest thing she likes here is the natural beauty, trees, etc. Lima's landscape is desert when you leave the city and she loves the colors here.

Bottom line, although I had good luck with this I think it could be a huge factor in a marriage if a girl isn't happy with where she is living.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: You can take a girl out of t..., posted by Red Clay on Dec 27, 2004

In my opinion is do they love you.For you my friend the answer is definetly yes.I don't know if you were carefulol or lucky,probably both.If they love you they will adapt.Hodas wife is adapting to New York City and the weather.
For some the lack of city will be more of a problem than others.And I agree  they need mobility.Andfriends.My ex had a bad time for 2 or 3 months untill she met some people,women who spoke spanish.And it took her 8 months to get her drivers licence.Then she was off and running.She is very independent right now.I respect her as a person and still care about her even if she was not honest with me.Some friends who heard more of what she was telling her girl friends are less forgiving.But she is strong,smart and a survivor.Just like my last Novia here.I have to respect them even if both didn't treat me right.It takes 2.I tolerated too much.MY mistake.

Pete

[Red Clay]

... in response to The real bottom line, posted by Pete E on Dec 27, 2004

Pete,

You are absolutely right. She has always been willing to do anything if she thinks I really want her to. She is the most unselfish, agreeable person I have ever known. We are blessed.

[zack]

... in response to You can take a girl out of the city..., posted by Thunderstruck on Dec 27, 2004

Thunderstruck,

Just because a lady lives in a large Colombian city doesn't mean that she is a city girl. Some ladies live in the city to avoid the rural danger but would rather live in a small town. Some of the small-town ladies live in the bigger cities to attend a university. It would be helpful know her activities in the city. If she is a bar-hopping party girl, she probably prefers the bigger city. If she spends most of her time at home, then maybe she wouldn't mind living in a small town. A lot of factors come into play.

Zack