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Pete

Personally, my biggest reservation about bringing any foreign-born woman to the U.S. is that she will have unrealistic expectations about life here, and will quickly become dissatisfied about the lifestyle that can be offered by most men.  I have witnessed too many women (granted, most were from the FSU) who seemed nice when they first arrived here, and became ultra-b**ches after all the attention they received from the men here.  After growing up being treated like dirt by men from their home countries, they learn how to get anything they want from guys here with relative ease, and many become worse than any AW.  It appears that some latinas develop this attitude as well.

My personal opinion is that it takes an exceptional woman not to be influenced by all the flattering attention they will receive here.  And I am not necessarily talking about the knockouts.  Women of average beauty in Cali will certainly stand out here in NJ/NYC area, and the guys here will be hitting on them constantly.  I am convinced this has an effect on a woman's attitude about themselves and their husband and their marriage, and generally it is not a good effect.

  Please don't go there.

    Sometimes we all feel neglected.  Slights and neglect are often the results of what is going on only at the moment and usually are not meant to be permanent injuries. I am aware,when you are the one slighted it seems like the end of the world.  Dwelling on these events can give them  more power and they can become enormous. Discussing them with others, who are not involved, gives them credence and more importance.
  My loving lawyer ex wife used to say there are three sides to a story, his side, her side and the truth. We see the truth from our own perspective and slights should be discussed with the persons who created them. In my opinion to discuss these slights with others only re-enforces one person's position and solidifys resistance to compromise and understanding between the parties involved.
   The responses received here are from people who only know one of the sides. But the poster gets the internal message "see I knew I was right and she dosn't love me ". This is why I am against bringing personal problems here. Personal problems need to be discussed with the people involved or professionals who hear both sides and are skilled in moving the parties into acceptance of what is really going on. They do not re-enforce individual perception.
  Another reason I have against public revelations here, is that most relationships are built on trust and the mutual belief that privacy is sacred. I think that most wives and girlfriends expect that we not discuss our lives together with others. I know we all need to vent, but I believe that venting should be constructive while there is a chance to save a relationship. If someone wants to call her a greenscard shark after she has left him that is venting. Discussing ongoing relationships with strangers is looking for validation. suerte JIM

    How does the song go? "Try one thousand ways". To expect a reward or recognition for a good deed takes the "good" out, because of the expectation of repayment. One should get greater pleasure from giving a great Christmass present than the expectation of what present you will receive in return. I found also in my relationship with A Calena not to expect overt thanks. I think these issues come under the unconditional love catagory. No one likes to owe anybody anything. It can be uncomfortable JIM