I'm new to posting on this board. I've been sort of a ghost, I read the new posts on pretty much of a daily basis. Now I'm still in college, but I've already pretty much decided that I don't want to marry an AW. I have dated a colombian woman before. So I know a little.
    I think that maybe it's time for everyone to take a comprehensive self-evaluation. Gentlemen let us ask ourselves... What do these women really want? Do they want your money? In some cases. Do they want a greencard out of the deal? If they are from a third world country, I would say citizenship is part of the target goal. The girl I dated was well off, but she still wanted to marry and gain her citizenship here.
   So men, no matter how old you are, think just what it is you may have to offer these women. Besides money, citizenship, a better life, and the love of a wonderful "nice" guy. Now keep in mind, that if she is a gorgeous woman she can find any of the first three readily if she divorces you and leaves you. On the other hand, it's not that hard to find a nice guy, depending on what she is working with physically. Basically there aren't that many nice guys, but they are a penny a dozen.
    Now compared to AW they are gorgeous, readily accessible, approachable, and very exotic. So what is the initial beginning of a non-plutonic male-female reationship. ATTRACTION. If she is not physically attracted to you in some sort of way... sooner or later it will show that she does not want you.
    So what is the answer, work out, diet, dress well, and smell good for her. Women are impressed by men with ambition, who are concerned with physical appearance and hygiene. I would say especially LW. Most of them make time to go to the gym and they almost always are very fetching with what they wear.
    Sure you hear work out, diet and lose weight feel great slogans all day on commercials. Trust me though. If you are not somewhat physically fit, it is a big minus on your checklist of personal qualities. Forgive me if some have experienced negative realtionships despite your best efforts, and truly I am sorry for that. Life can be seen as a still photo seen through rose colored glasses. In reality it is all a moving black and white picture. So yes patience is warranted when looking for someone to love, caution as well. You cannot, however, attribute the end of a relationship with young beautiful latina as being a cruel twist of fate due to a greencard scammer, or your age. If you have a bit of a belly work on it.

... in response to Self Evaluation, posted by Jester on Jul 12, 2003

I can't really tell if you are asking a question, or looking at the issues that will affect the success of the relationship.  I believe that people have their own reasons for going out of the country to find a spouse.  Some are going for the wrong reasons.  Some of the women are marrying for the wrong reasons.  From what I can see from reading the posts of others, it is a hit and miss situation.  I read this recently, "maturity comes from experience, and experience comes from making mistakes".  I say figure out what you want and go get it.  If it works then great, and if it does not, make corrections and stay after your goal.  Life in a nut shell.

... in response to Don't kid yourself., posted by Jeff S on Jul 12, 2003

Jeff S.

You are 100% correct!!!

I would add this alongside with it:

Also try and look for the same LEVEL of partner.
If you are a bluecolarworker and you're dating a hot colombian laywer...it's bound to go wromg imho.

Also let's not forget to be honest.

If you are (fe) 45, 170cm and 95 kg with average looks do NOT expect to attract an 23 yo 174cm and 57 kg fotomodel!!

regards

Hanns-Erich.

... in response to Re: Don't kid yourself., posted by HansErich on Jul 13, 2003

I agree about the level, and it works both ways. If you're an intellectual type, what kind of relationship can you expect from a sixth grade educated waitress, no matter how hot (other than between the sheets.)

"If you are (fe) 45, 170cm and 95 kg with average looks do NOT expect to attract an 23 yo 174cm and 57 kg fotomodel!!"

Unless:

1) You have power in business or politics,

2) You have a private jet and villa in the South of France,

3) You are an accomplished artist or muscician,

4) You have an adventurous spirit and like exotic vacations,

5) You can lick your eybrows with your tongue,

6) She sees you as a way to increase her social status,

7) She thinks you're funny and she feels comfortable with you,

....

The list can go on and on. Women simply aren't as attracted to looks as men are. Non-physical things matter far more to them than to us.

- Jeff

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Don't kid yourself., posted by Mark33 on Jul 13, 2003

I agree with most of what you are saying.  I met a woman in Bogota last year.  She was obviously extremely attractive and I thought it would be fun to strike up a conversation with her.  I honestly thought it would be nothing more. We talked for quite a while and she made it clear she was interested.  To make a long story short we were engaged for a short time.  We email from time to time and she still says I am guapo (handsome).  In some rare cases beauty "IS" in the eye of the beholder.
Many of the Colombian women talk about their "Cheatin" Colombian ex or former boyfriend.  I can guarantee these guys weren't Colombian street sweepers of janitors.

HeyNow

... in response to Re: Don't kid yourself., posted by Jester on Jul 12, 2003

I wasn't offended at all. And my implication was that the college women you know and interface with, are probably Sex in the City fans, so have a very different outlook on life and relationships with men than do foreign women. Isn't that why we look overseas after all? Actually I applaud your decision to look overseas. Unlike many who post here, my foreign bride is my first marriage. I learned all I needed to know after dating AW for 15 years - it didn't take an unsuccessful marriage or two to open my eyes.

My post was just to point out that the biggest fear of most newbys and the loudest rantings of most naysayers is that the poor, naieve, socially inept American man who seek foreign brides are ripe for the slaughter from visa whores circling like sharks when they alight from the plane. Sorry to disappoint them but it doesn't work that way. Can you be taken by a visa whore? Sure, but not if you go into it with your eyes open, your intentions sincere, and your wits about you.

Good luck in your search.

- Jeff

... in response to Self Evaluation, posted by Jester on Jul 12, 2003

If you are only 21, like your profile says, you don't have to worry about most of the bad experiences which you read on this board.  Many, if not most, of the guys here are in their 40's or 50's pursuing women in their 20's.  That is where all the problems are coming from.  The best thing you can do for yourself today is to get two solid years of college Spanish under your belt.  When you go to Colombia, you will have the pick of any woman you want, and personally I don't even think you need agencies.  I would suggest that you adopt a Latin Male attitude that you are the prize, go for your ideal woman, and see who takes care of you the best.  You will be able to get a woman that you could never get in the United States.  The more Spanish you know, the better you will be able to communicate and figure out whats going on.  Alot of us here envy your time.  Use it well.

... in response to Re: Re: Self Evaluation, posted by Cali vet on Jul 12, 2003


The last time I was in Bogota, I met my novia's cousin who is studying to be an engineer in college.  He is 22 and has a beautiful novia the same age as him.  Contrary to the myths propagated by marriage agencies about Colombian women preferring older men, I think he would have no problem finding someone his age or a little younger.