Climbing back on the saddle

[Jersey Mike]

Well, my ex (from the FSU) and I signed the papers this past weekend and I'm officially a free man after almost 4 years.  Although I've been dating a bit here in the NYC/NJ metro area, I've decided that I have to go south of the border to meet "the one".  (I am convinced that the FSU is a complete and utter crapshoot with poor odds for success, although I met my ex here in NYC and she is a far better woman than most FSU women that I have encountered.  She has her faults, though, and they are significant.)   My next step is to decide how & where to go about finding a nice latina woman, although I am in no real hurry.

Since my separation, I've casually dated a bit with latin women that I have met from this region.  (I have met attractive girls from Brazil, Colombia, Cuba, Puerto Rico and Dominican who live around my home and work.)  One concern that I have is that many of the latin girls already living here, especially the single girls, seem to have "americanized" in the worst possible ways - they demonstrate many of the very character traits and flaws that the guys on this board are trying to avoid in AW.  I think that when many of these ladies live here, particularly without their family influences, they change due to the amount of attention they receive from men.  Some will quickly begin to morph into materialistic and manipulative b**ches.  Many single latin ladies living here, but not all, seem to quickly lose much of the attractive sweetness they had when they first arrived.

I realize that you cannot isolate your lady from the outside world and that some change is to be expected as the natural course of the relationship evolves.  (The old saying comes to mind: Women marry a man hoping to change him, and men marry a woman hoping she will never change - and both are always wrong!)  Still, I wonder about dramatic changes once a lady arrives here, some of which I have seen first hand.

So my questions for the guys who have had success in finding and marrying latinas (and also for those who brought women over and it didn't work out):  Has your lady changed very much (her personality and values) since moving to your home and do you think the change comes from our culture's negative influences?  Not trying to stir the pot - just would enjoy to hear some of your thoughts and opinions.  Thanks!  

[Cartagena]

... in response to Climbing back on the saddle, posted by Jersey Mike on Jun 2, 2003

Still, I wonder about dramatic changes once a lady arrives here, some of which I have seen first hand.

Depends on 3 things as to what happens, when and how.

1-It depends on the mans ability to deal with the AOL (adjustments of life).

2- It depends on the womans true motives and her ability to deal with AOL.

3- Depends on the circumstances of Life.

The adjustment period is so full of variables (most never imagined)and peoples motives, agendas, hopes, dreams, plans,personalities, circumstances, etc., etc., etc, are so varied and so different that it's impossible imo to write a formula.

If you both find that you want and love each other more than the forces pulling at you it works out fine.

C

[grant5432]

... in response to Climbing back on the saddle, posted by Jersey Mike on Jun 2, 2003

HI.  Forgive me, but what is an FSU?   I keep thinking it means Florida
State University, but I know I am wrong!  

-Grant (new to all this, going to Peru to find a wife next month)

[Jersey Mike]

... in response to Re: Climbing back on the saddle, posted by grant5432 on Jun 3, 2003

FSU = Former Soviet Union = evil russian women (just kidding!)

[cancunhound]

... in response to Climbing back on the saddle, posted by Jersey Mike on Jun 2, 2003

Money changes everyone!  I believe the degree of severity of any change will be based upon her economic status in Colombia and yours in the US.    Other than that, I've found Colombianas to be very strong willed and set in their ways.

[Nico]

... in response to Re: Climbing back on the saddle, posted by cancunhound on Jun 3, 2003

cancunhound be more specific please

[cancunhound]

... in response to Re: Re: Climbing back on the saddle, posted by Nico on Jun 4, 2003

For example, if you were to marry a "campesina" - a gal from the countryside - you should expect nothing but drastic change as she adjusts to life in the states.  For those currently dating latinas - ask yourself this one very important question:
is she currently driving a car or scooter?  If the answer is no, remember how it felt when you 1st obtained that step?  The independence and freedom will hit like a bomb when they accomplish this back in the states.  The closer her lifestyle is to yours right now - expect less of a change.  Nothing wrong with a clash of extremes, you just got a keep control of it.  Just my 2 cents.

[Wayne11]

... in response to Climbing back on the saddle, posted by Jersey Mike on Jun 2, 2003

Mike,

I don't think they change that much.  But I do believe that they stop being on "good behaviour" and turn into their real selves after a while.

I had an FSU wife too....3 years.

Date long my friend and don't marry quick.

Wayne

[Jersey Mike]

... in response to Re: Climbing back on the saddle, posted by Wayne11 on Jun 3, 2003

Wayne,
Thanks for the advice.  I intend to date around for awhile and enjoy it.  And I plan to have a fairly long courtship with any girl with whom I get serious.  But the "good behaviour" issue is always present with any woman from any culture - until you marry and live with her and the newness wears off, you never truly know her character.  And it's definately a factor in these relationships with limited contact prior to commitment.

As an aside, I have a good friend who is Cuban-American.  He is definately an old-school traditionalist, and he complains about that the women from Latin America here are just becoming just like AW's.  In fact, he believes that the 2nd generation latinas born here are worse than AW's.  However, he just married his longtime girlfriend from Brazil, so he can't be that disillusioned!

Thanks to all for their comments!

[Red Clay]

... in response to Climbing back on the saddle, posted by Jersey Mike on Jun 2, 2003

My wife (Peruvian) has not lost any of her sweetness or sincerity, she has never once acted like the grass might be greener somewhere else. Just remind them occasionally that you went south to find something different than what the average gringa offers. In other words, her sweetness and sincerity are the reasons that she is here.