For WIZARD...Please read my post...For Colman

[KnowledgeIsPwr]

Wizard,

I know that some of the items discussed kind of go against a few of your thoughts, but I also know that you're a person whom can entertain an opposing thought, while not subscribing to it.

I would welcome, and appreciate your feedback, thoughts, suggestions, and anything else that you'd like to lend to an American Gringo seeking some Knowledge from the old yard dogs.    '-)

KIP

[wizard]

... in response to For WIZARD...Please read my post...For C..., posted by KnowledgeIsPwr on Dec 26, 2002

What's the old saying, "be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it"... I think this applies both to my thoughts on your recent post and the picture you may be painting for your new novia in LA...

You obviously like this girl or you wouldn't be sending her all these gifts... You're moving pretty fast KIP...

First, IMHO, I would not send the volume of gifts you described in your previous post... Especially to someone you have never met... I don't think you want to paint your picture as being the "rich gringo", lavishing gifts on this girl, but that's how it's going to seem to her...

If you start the relationship in this manner, where do you go from here??? Somewhere in the process you're going to create the very thing you are trying to escape, a materialistic woman... She will come to expect this now and in the future... Is that what you want???

Now from her standpoint, here's a gringo that she has not even met, sending her all these gifts... It will have one of two effects... She will either fall head over heels for you... Nothing wrong with that, but you haven't even met her yet... What if there is no chemistry when you do meet... I fear alot of heartache by both parties... Be careful what you wish for by the picture that you paint... The other thing that could happen is not pretty, she could be a shark in the water... Wouldn't be the first time and sure wouldn't be the last... Just think about getting lost in south central and having your car break down... Entiende???

Money will only cloud any issue that arises in the early stages of a relationship... Remove it from the equation...

Now having said this, I could be wrong, off base, out in left field... Wouldn't be the first time... One thing I have learned during this process is that everyone's timetable and story is different... What works for me may not work for you... Only you know what color the sky is in your world... There is no 27 step process on how to find a soul mate... If it were only that easy...

You asked for my input and you got it... I enjoy open minded debate as is it the foundation of a free society... Dissenting opinions are a slice of life...

Now one last thing, careful who you call an "old yard dog"... This puppy still has some bite...

wizard

[KnowledgeIsPwr]

... in response to Well, you asked..., posted by wizard on Dec 27, 2002


Mr. Wizard,

First and foremost, no disrespect regarding the "old yard dogs" phrase, but admittedly, most everyone here has more time, and more experience regarding a lot of the items discussed, so if anything, it was ACTUALLY a COMPLIMENT!  Albeit, I probably could have picked a better adjective - how about "BIG DOGS on the porch!" .... '-)

And as for the open minded debates,....likewise!  Hence why I asked for your feedback, and insight.

You know, Einstein was quoted:
"If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants."
-Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

You my friend, are one of those giants!

He also said: "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
-Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

I would like to take you to task and ask that you consider something new, or something different to try in your quest to find your new "Mrs. Wizard".

I know that I'm going to get some flack from some of my post(s) here on the forum, but for me it's not what I shouldn't do, but more about what I'm willing to try.

Your points about my safe, etc., once in country are VERY WELL RECEIVED, and GREATLY APPRECIATED!

As for the picture being painted, expectations being set, etc.  I've always had this saying, and phrase that has served me well:  "It's not what you have, but what, and how you sell it."  

Yeah, I dig her, and I'm hopeful that there is some chemistry between us once, and if, we do meet, but at the end of the day, for me, I'd rather try and fail, then to have not tired at all.

I'm not so much concerned about materialism, and some of the other things that are often discussed here on the forum because I think we're ALL kidding ourselves if we don't face the reality that this is apart of what all of these women seek, desire, and apart of their objectives and goals.  A BETTER LIFE (wholelistically). Although WE (AM) probably don't/won't want to admit it to ourselves, we all have motives.  It's what drives us to do the things we do.  That's just a FACT of LIFE.

And what about us (AM) guys?  What's our expectations?  With catch phrases, and talk from the ladies like:
-home loving
-sincere/honest
-polite
-faithful
-the list goes on....

What are we (AM) seeking to find?  For most, they want some fine ass chica (eye candy) thats going to clean up there sh!t, not going to give them a lot of sh!t about were they've been, and what they're doing.  Some of us probably want a woman that's going to walk three steps behind them, and not speak until spoken to (although this trait is found more in the Asian women).  

Come on Wizard, let's keep it real!!

ALL ROADS GO BOTH WAYS!

IMHO, these women wouldn't even attempt, or try to land an American if they weren't desperately seeking to improve their lives in some way, shape or form.  And for me, I'm not painting the wrong picture, I'm just ensuring that the VERY FEW chicas that I choose to contact know, and understand that I'm an "Alpha Male".  '-)

We're all the masters of our own universes and I can more then manage anyones expectations, especially in this situation.  I can turn it on, or off as I see fit.  I have that option, and that choice.  And as for the sharks, if we ALL do our homework - we can more then handle, and smell them coming from miles away.

One last quote in closing:
"My God, these folks don't know how to love -- that's why they love so easily."
-D. H. Lawrence

As I posted in a reply to 'JunFan'; "My approach may seem a little foreign to the untrained eye, but I'm pretty confident at the end of the day that I'll be standing RIGHT where I want to be..."

I could go on further because I really enjoy the mental discussions, but I'm going to leave you, and the rest of the members with this:  "What is it that you really seek?", and "What's your exit plan if you don't find it?"  You don't have to answer these openly.  I just want to keep your mind moving/thinking!

See you on the flip side, and as always, I really enjoyable chatting and discussing thoughts, concerns and ideas with you.

Best Wishes, and may you and those you love have a blessed New 2003 Year!

KIP

[wizard]

... in response to Re: Mr. Wizard..A VERY LONG REPLY!!!, an..., posted by KnowledgeIsPwr on Dec 27, 2002

"Men do the picking, but women do the choosing"... We men, god bless our pointed little heads, respond more to visual stimulation in a partner than do women... Physical attractiveness is higher on a man's list than a woman's...  Women focus more on the substantive nature of a possible partner... Can this man provide a stable/properous future, father/support/nuture children and yes, generally provide a better standard of living than they currently possess... This is not unique to AM/LW couples... It has been part of the mating ritual for thousands of years...  It is instinct genetically breed into our psyche... No, we aren't that far removed from the trees...

Yes, there are probably some/many ladies from LA desperate to leave and improve their standard of living, but would you want that type of partner??? At the end of the day you have to go with you own gut feelings as to what is right for you and whether your lady is sincere... Just like she should be judging you...

There are lot's of horror stories here regarding AM/LW marriages that did not work out and failed... JunFan is one... I for one do not want to become another statistic... It takes time to judge the character and motives of a person... No amount of letter writing will ever accomplish this, only face time... And even that is no gaurantee... There are no gaurantees in life... The only thing you can do is minimize your risk

My point, if a LW does not take the time to get to know YOU, then that's a huge red flag... If she doesn't take the time and put forth the effort to delve into who you are, then IMHO she's probably a gold digger... Plus, if you cloud the real issue with many gifts, it just exacerbates this process... Does she like/want me, or what I can offer her...

If you've never been saddled with a materialistic woman, then you are truly a lucky man... Unless you like that sort of thing... Been there... There is a BIG difference between someone who is trying to improve their standard of living and someone who is materialistic... The red flags are pretty obvious...

The reason we gather here is that this is the road well traveled... What little method there is to this madness, this is the repository... We share information, anecdotes, horror stories and successes... Sometimes the advice that the forum offers is heeded, sometimes not... I am a relative newcomer to this process compared to many of the vets... I finally found the "one" and am in hot pursuit... Some guys here have had marriages go bad and have headed back to LA for seconds... The archives provide a wealth of information regarding the pursuit...

We have all come to this point in our lives and in this pursuit for our own reasons... The culmination of our life experience tells us that we are not going to find what we are looking for locally... Some take the road more frequently traveled, some take the road less traveled... Hey dude, whatever works for you...

Me, I'm on my way to LA in a couple days to spend a week with my novia...

Buena suerte...

wizard

[KnowledgeIsPwr]

... in response to Confucius Say..., posted by wizard on Dec 27, 2002


Mr. Wizard,

Always a pleasure.

I'm glad to hear that you've found yourself a wonderful novia, and I'm sure she's a wonderuful person.

She would have to be to get close to you....lol.. '-)

I wish you both, many years, NO, a lifetime of joy and happiness!

As well, enjoy your time down there, and please let me know how things go, i.e. the weather, things to do, etc.

I wish you a safe trip!

KIP