... in response to To young gun & Goliath, posted by FenixRises on Dec 22, 2002There have been many posts here re: how do you tell family & friends about your Latina wife or novia, where you met her, etc. The common theme here is that there is the anticipation of a negative response, usually attributed to a cultural bias against the MOB approach, Latinas in general or whatever.
I am certainly not discounting that. I think to an extent there is an "attitude" among certain AWs against any woman who is what they are not. But I think this springs more from jealousy than anything else. These women and / or family members would probably have a negative outlook on your relationship whether it was with a Latina or not. Think of it - who gives you grief over your good fortune? Those who are have nots and are unhappy about that. Got a great job or promotion? Family or friends who are stuck in dead end jobs are the first to criticize. New car? Those who can't afford one are the first to tell you that you made a big mistake. And those of us who are divorced will tell you that those most critical of a new relationship are those who are stuck in unhappy marriages or who don't have some sort of satisfying relationship. But those who have decent jobs or good marriages are the first to congratulate you when something nice happens to you.
I have to feel sorry for many AWs. I think our culture and the feminist movement have given them unrealistic expectations, making them perpetually frustrated and therefore jealous of the Latina who comes here expecting to be happy, and thus IS happy with her American husband. I once asked my novia what she wanted out of life, and she told me that all she wanted was a faithful husband, a daddy for her (soon to be our) 2 kids, and her own place that she could make into a cozy home for our family. That's it? After a some thought, she added "Well, maybe a little dog."
Kinda hard to be unhappy when you have realistic expectations. And it's very easy to be seen as above average and a great catch by a Latina when you are able to do something for her that you could never hope to do for a girl back home - make her happy.
Additionally, Fenix' post was right on. If your friends and family respect your judgment, you should not expect problems. He has clearly surrounded himself with mature, happy people who undoubtedly see him in the same light. If you anticipate serious problems with your people accepting your decision, take a hard look at them and at your relationships with them. Either they have a legitimate concern that you should pay attention to, or you need to find new friends.
