I’d say! I met the love of my life on a Filipino chat channel called # Davao of the Dalnet group. I posted a handle of 'A_lonely_male' and was getting literally hundreds of requests for chat. I had been writing girls for weeks having met quite a few that I was interested in. I kept a few pictures on my computer and when they’d ask to chat I’d ask for a picture and send them mine. Then to prove I was a serious person and not playing around I’d immediately sent them a letter using mail forwarding through “BMPLimited“. When I met Marissa, I was writing 14 Filipinas including three I was very interested in. Matter of fact, I was posting on Planet-Love that I thought I had found the right one when I met Marissa. That one turned out to be a suicidal nut case. Then Marissa chatted in. I was intrigued because of her mastery of the English language. She understood me, including “contractions” without repeated explanations. She was very easy to talk with and we had many things to say. But kicker was that she was 19. I was scared to death. 19!!!! Wouldn’t they put me in jail for that? When I told her she was too young. She pretty much told me that she was mature enough to make decisions on her own and found no problem with my age (45). I think one of the happiest days of my life was when she turned 20 a few weeks later – I mean wow - 19!!!
Marissa picture was incredible. She looked intelligent, pretty and the picture had a characteristic I found fascinating, she looked “sneaky”. Her picture looked like she had just played a joke on someone and she was smiling about it. Just plain “gorgeous”. If any of you have ever read the book “Personality Plus” she looked like she was a “sanguine”, the supposed mate to my “melancholy” characteristics. She sent me a few pictures with the return of “mail-forwarding” and I saw her hair. Wow again!! Elbow length, long black hair!!! I had always dreamed of my lady love having long beautiful hair. Like in the country song where she only let her hair down for her man behind closed doors. She had a look that angels must be jealous of.
I remember thinking that if she were the right girl for me then a simple prayer would confirm it. Wow did it ever. So I asked her if she would be my girlfriend. She did as I did, prayed, and got a strong answer as well. By-the way fellas neither of us knew the other was praying about these choices for some months afterwards. Some weeks later when we were having all the problems both of us prayed about the relationship again. I had told Heavenly Father that I would marry the “next girl that sang a song to me” and she had prayed asked that if was the right one I call her right then (a time when I am never able to call because it is during the sacrament portion of the church session on Sundays). Within minutes of those two prayers we each knew the other was our mate. If you are not religious, getting answers to prayers like that will make you become religious!!
One of the things I had always dreamed of doing was going to church, reading scriptures and praying with my family. To help us be stronger and to exhibit love to each other by sharing our most confidential feelings on “our prayers to our Heavenly Father”. My “ex” found it too embarrassing but Marissa was thrilled that I asked her to pray with me. I also asked her to “fast” (go a day without food and pray a lot in that day) with me. Honestly it seemed like nothing we attempted failed after that.
My big concerns in finding a new mate were the problems I found in the society of America. The willingness of the American people to accept the propaganda that is destroying the families here, reducing men too little more than someone who brings home money. Schools claim complete control over your kids, and I don’t just mean their education, from the moment you enroll them. The soaps, talk shows and growing immorality in the media teach us, and our families, to be self-gratifying, image seeking and selfish to a point of cruelty. For those of you who disagree with me I want to give you something – a recipe to make “brownies”….
Brownies with a Difference
After the tragedy of non-parenting evidenced in Littleton, many Parents are working hard to explain to their children and teens why some video games, music, movies, books, and magazines are not acceptable material for them to bring into the home, for their youth to see or hear.
One parent came up with an original idea that was hard to refute. He listened to all the reasons his children gave for wanting to see a particular PG-13 movie. It had their favorite actors. Everyone else was seeing it. Even church members said it was great. It was only rated PG-13 because of the suggestion of sex. They never really showed it. The language was pretty good. They only used the Lord's name in vain three times in the whole movie. The video effects were fabulous and the plot was action packed. Yes, there was the scene where a building and a bunch of people got blown up, but the violence was just the normal stuff. It wasn't very bad.
Even with all these explanations for the rating, the father wouldn't give in.
He didn't even give them a satisfying explanation for saying, "No."
He just said, "No."
It was a little bit later that evening that this same father asked his teens if they would like some brownies he had prepared. He explained that he had taken the families favorite recipe and added something new.
They asked what it was. He calmly replied that he had added a special ingredient -- dog poop.
He stated that it was only a little bit. All the ingredients were gourmet quality. He had taken great care to bake it at the precise temperature for the exact time. He was sure the brownies would be superb. Even with all the explanations of the perfect attributes of the brownies, the teens would not take one.
The father acted surprised. There was only one little element that would have caused them to act so stubbornly. He assured them that they would hardly notice it if at all. They all held firm and would not try the brownies.
He then explained that the movie they wanted to see was just like the brownies. Sin enters our minds and our homes by deceiving us into believing that just a little bit of evil won't matter. With the brownies, just a little bit makes all the difference between a great brownie and a totally unacceptable product.
He explained that even though the movie people would have us believe. The movies, which are coming out are acceptable for adults and youths to see, they are not. Now when this father's youth want to do something or see something they should not, the father merely asks them if they would like some of his special brownies . . . and they never ask about that activity again.
Sure is food for thought!
…I wanted someone who wouldn’t fall for it again like my “first mistake” had. Marissa said she wanted me to live there in Davao which was to me a good sign and that she didn’t watch TV, another good sign – especially in a country where it seems like watching the TV is the biggest past time for those who have TV’s. I asked her about homeschooling and she was very happy with the idea as long as I did the American history (smile).
Marissa is a cum laude candidate in accounting at her college and a past winner of a drama contest – yep, both math and English! She is talented and capable and in my opinion someone who has the ability to make a big mark on the world. But all she wants is to be a mother and a wife. As all Filipinas, she has great courage to me because she is willing to give up her home, her family and her way of life to come to a place that is so different. To be with someone she really only knows from chatting, e-mail, letters and phone calls and a few days of visits.
Marissa is pure as the driven snow having never known even a kiss by a man on the lips and knowing only what sex was taught to her in the Catholic schools. Her attitude about these things is that her husband will teach her and that she knows of no reason why she would refuse any of his requests. I dare anyone to find a 12 year old who hasn’t been kissed or a 16 year old who hasn’t had sex here in America. They might be out there but the “needle in the haystack” would be easier to find. I also dare someone to find such a girl and not think Heavenly Father didn’t send you an Angel – once married you are in Heaven.
Okay. She’s religious, intelligent, and moral with strong family values, but “wow” she is Gorgeous too. Long beautiful, elbow length, black hair, brown “sneaky” eyes, a perfect “knowing” smile, and a proud stance at 5’0”, weighing in a 101 pounds, willing to surrender to the right man but look out if its not her choice. I won’t give you her vitals but believe me; they are nothing to be ashamed of. I cannot find a single thing about her that is lacking. Even her “sanguine” characteristics so perfectly match my “melancholy” characteristics that I often tease her that together we are unbeatable. From 9000 miles away she makes me eat right, reminds me to smile all day, stops be from becoming the “bear” that got me my nickname, watches how I spend “our” money. She will not accept money from me unless it is for our communication or papers she will need for us to be married. Marissa is always there for me when I need someone to talk with. The best gift I ever have ever received in my whole life was when she called me on my birthday and sang me a song. Soon after that when we received the answer to our prayers that we were meant for each other she sang me two to three songs every week.
Honey and I talk 3-7 hours a day. Yes 3 to 7 hours a day. I put in a second phone line and set my PC up to be on 24 hours a day so that in the morning when she logs on a .wav file says “Marissa’s online!!”. I am up in an instant no matter what time she logs on. We chat for about and hour and a half while I get ready for work. It is so funny. She will tell me “You may not talk” while I’m eating and she will chat away and I’ll eat and read her chat. I call her when I get home and wake her for her day. She then goes up to the college where she chats with me 3 to 5 hours depending on her classes and job responsibilities. She is a teaching assistant in the computer labs so she has unlimited access to the computers and chats. Several times we chatted all night for her and for me. I truly believe that this “long distance relationship” has given us a chance to learn about each other in a way that no “next door” girl relationship would have. We try to tell each other something new about ourselves every week.
I am sorry to all you guys who have girls in Davao if I have made your courting harder because I love making Marissa “popular”. You do not have to send money. I think the phone was the biggest thing as a status symbol to many girls but if you want to show a Filipina you love her, sing her a song. If you want to make her the envy of her friends, sing her a song when she is at one of those infamous “all girl” parties. I also sent her “teddy bears”, maps, pictures, and info about Houston and Texas, and MTV videos. The week I sent her the first MTV videos on CD there was a holiday at her college. Still the computer lab was packed from people coming to see if she would allow them to watch her MTV videos. They tell her how lucky she is to have someone call her and wake her in the mornings and sing to her and send her all these things. No, I am the lucky one. But that’s not all. I didn’t forget that she has parents. I also wrote them and had my mother write them so that they knew I loved Marissa and that I was serious and they knew my intentions.
Its kind of hard to say what Marissa was looking for in a man because she claims she wasn’t looking. Well, I will accept her comment but it just seems that we are all looking. She had just broke up with her boyfriend when she first started chatting with me because he refused to quit drinking. I also learned later that a young Canadian had been chatting with her and had called the college where she worked and got her in trouble. He was married. His wife called also. She wouldn’t let me call her at her job because of it.
We had a lot of strange discussions, the topics I won’t go over but they definitely confirmed many of the “stereotyping” that many Filipinas get. I know that she believes that men there just want a woman who’ll work and support them. The attitude of the men is that they are superior and that the women need to be submissive and obedient. I guess I can understand why so many Filipina women look for men outside of their country. I worked very hard to instill in her that this was not the kind of relationship I wanted. Ours had to be built on a concept of helping and supporting each other, being responsible and letting nothing displace the importance of the other in our lives. I wanted to be her lover, closest friend and strongest supporter not someone who would correct her for her mistakes in life, but be someone to help her not make mistakes and be there with a shoulder to cry on when she did. Someone she could always depend on to laugh with her, not at her, and know that any need of hers would take first place in my life. Marissa did ask a lot though. She had brothers and a sister that she wanted to help educate and she wanted to help her parents in there retirement have a home and place to stay. Any man she married would have to agree either help with those things or not prevent her from helping her family. When she told me of her desires it really scared me. A lot of the guys on Planet-Love said drop her because she was out to use me. Later I found it was her hopes, not requirements. Who wouldn’t want to help their family if the could.
She was perfect in every way.
