Unusual or Usual?

[senior citizen]

Had our family reunion topday and a good time was had by all, except for a small problem. There is a new Japanese wife in the family (as well as two other Filipinas and a handful of Chinese and a few Thai), it appears the men in my family like Asian women. Must run in the DNA. Plus we are a military family.

Anyhow, the Japanese woman snubbed the Filipinas, but talked with the Chinese/Thais. Is this a cultural thing? I thought it was the Chinese and Japanese who did not get along well. Filipinas apparently get along well with other Asian women, and were friendly enough toward the Japanese woman, until she snubbed them. The Japanese woman and the other Asians were light-skinned and the Filipinas have Moreno skin (which I and others find very appealing). Is it skin tone, nationality or what?

Never thought I'd see a new Asian wife snub other Asian women at a family affair, especially when many were a decade or more her senior. I'd think she'd be glad of Asian company.

Any ideas? Any one else see this in action? Or is this woman just a snob or for some reason has it in for Filipinas?

[Bob S]

... in response to Unusual or Usual?, posted by senior citizen on Jun 26, 2005

still tacky behavior.

It's easy to forget here in multicultural America just how racist and elitist 99% of the rest of the world really is.  Just listen to Russians talking about Ukrainians, Germans talking about Poles or Russians, or French or Brits talking about Americans.  So a lot of it probably has to do with nationality and stereotypes.
Why dis the Filipinas and not the Chinese?  Well, while in N. America the image of a Filipina might be of a woman that entered the country on a work visa to fill a respected and needed position as a nurse, in Japan the stereotype image of a Filipina is of a woman who entered the country on an "entertainment" visa to work as a prostitute. (That will change in time as Japan's population ages and they need more skilled worker Filipinas as nurses as well.)  If the J-wife is fresh off the boat, then maybe her husband needs to set her straight on what is acceptable polite behavior in America's more egalitarian society.

To further explain the dynamics of the situation in that region (and for your entertainment pleasure), here's a little something I stole from another web site, "BigDaikon.com", a site for English teachers living in Japan:

Posted by "Stupid Flanders"
Japan = f*** up little island country off the continent, has strong military history, invades everybody, hated by neighbors...esp Korea, who they assraped worst, also they think they are very different from the Koreans...and a million times better than everybody else. Annexed Hokkaido. Friends with USA.

UK = f*** up little island country off the continent, has strong military history, invades everybody, hated by neighbors...esp Ireland, who they assraped worst, also they think they are very different from the Irish...and a million times better than everybody else. Annexed Scotland. Friends with USA.

Korea = bullsh!t little country full of racist drunks who hate everybody...but none so much as the Japanese. Severe inferiority complex. Divided nation due to Japanese meddling. Half of country moves to NYC to open grocery stores.

Ireland = bullsh!t little country full of racist drunks who hate everybody...but none so much as the English. Severe inferiority complex. Divided nation due to UK meddling. Half of country moves to NYC to open bars.

I guess China = Germany.

Big a-ss army, neighbors terrified, but not as much as it's own citizens. Good beer.

Thailand = Greece?

[Jeff S]

... in response to Not so unusual, but..., posted by Bob S on Jun 27, 2005

Well put Bob.
- Jeff

[senior citizen]

... in response to Not so unusual, but..., posted by Bob S on Jun 27, 2005

Thanks. Someone else has told me that it may be because a lot of Japanese families have Filipina servants and see them as a servant class, like Negroes in the 1930's here in the US.

Whatever, it was in poor taste. I hope my dear cousin set her straight on American egalitarianism. I feel sorry for the lady as although Honey and I live some distance away, there are three or so Filipinas nearby in the family who will probably treat her with stony contempt until she makes amends.

[Bob S]

... in response to Re: Not so unusual, but..., posted by senior citizen on Jun 28, 2005

I've never heard any Japanese ever mention anything about a Filipina maid.  But I've dealt more with middleclass families.  Jeff-san has more experience in a whole range of Japanese class levels, so he would know better than I.  But I find it hard to imagine any traditional J-wife allowing some other woman entry into her sacred space. ;-)

But I do know that Filipinas occupy a domestic servant class role in Hong Kong.  I don't know the exact numbers, but I think it's on the order of tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of Filipinas that work there.
Which leads to an interesting point about how different nationalities regard different classes.  This is from an ex-pat friend who lived for years in Hong Kong and now works in the foreign service in the Middle East.  American ex-pats, from a society with a fairly broad middleclass, are not familiar with a "servant class", and as such tend to treat hired or live-in maids almost as a member of the family.  They get a spare bedroom, holidays off, decent wages, spoken too with professional politeness, and so on.  The British ex-pats think the Americans are idiots for treating their servants with such respect.  They keep their servants in their place: pay them as little as possible, make them work longer hours, and talk down to them.  And the Chinese think both Americans AND Brits are idiots for showing any kindness or professional respect to their Filipina maids.  From their Chinese employers, live-in maids can expect minimal pay, very long hours (effectively on-call all the time), physical abuse, sometimes sexual abuse, and be forced to sleep in the kitchen (on a cot if they're lucky).