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Author Topic: She's Baaaaaaaaack  (Read 13077 times)
outwest
Guest
« on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
Well for those of you following the story, the penpal i had for two
months who asked for money, i said no, we had a big misunderstanding
about it, turned out she was talking to someone else at the same
time , then she got "engaged " to him two days later,
    Well we exhanged emails back and forth, for 3 weeks, me
telling her how disappointed i was in her actions, her defending
herself, etc, and insisting that she really cared for me, etc,
I ended up about a week ago telling her this.....basically, that
any man who would propose to her, without ever meeting her, like this
guy did, ....is desperate, and a fool......and that she must be
desperate also to accept,,,,,,,,This made her very angry and defensive
and we exchanged many angry words for about 2 weeks as to this situation.
      I even talked to both him and her in a private chat one night
and told them both what i thought, of thier actions,
      The last letter she sent 2 days ago, she said.....basically
that she had thought it over and that I was right, she did not care
for that man, etc, and can we still have a chance.
      At this point I dont know what to do. Yes in a way I miss
talking to her on the phone, but I dont really trust her now. Besides,
at this point , I really dont have much to offer her, The last 3 weeks
has certainly taken the fun out of the courtship, So I almost feel like telling her...to go ahead and proceed with whatever plans she
has with this other guy, .......I told her in a letter that I am not
desperate or in a hurry and that I will not make promises to her in
order to make her come to me, like the other guy did,
     Well, anyway, the whole situation is confusing, I guess I know
the answer, but it sure stresses me out.
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Bear
Guest
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to She's Baaaaaaaaack, posted by outwest on Mar 28, 2001

Now that I'm married I keep getting e-mails from girls I used to write like Marichu and Judie Faye.  I have told them I am married but they still keep me on there list?  I just forward them to Marissa.

Bear
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may10
Guest
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to She's Baaaaaaaaack, posted by outwest on Mar 28, 2001

Making choices is usually a difficult assignment.  But all through life we must make them.  Some choices are insignificant, but others are far-reaching in their consequences.

One of the most important decisions in life is the choice of that ONE TRUE LOVE.  The one that we know will be our FOREVER LOVE.

I think that what everyone should remember is that true love has feelings, tender feelings which are put in the human heart.  But love is not composed of feelings only.  It is feelings  PLUS  PRINCIPLE.  It does not do anything and everything it feels.  In true love,  the feelings are under the control of principle.

I think that everyone who has read your story about this girl, I know that they, too, will agree with me that  no matter how difficult it is....the choice you have to make is clearly to forget about her.  *s*
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Dave H
Guest
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: She's Baaaaaaaaack, posted by may10 on Mar 28, 2001

outwest,

You must do what you feel is right. However, I would listen to May if it was my life.

I had to give up my wife over similar, but much more painful and deceiving circumstances. We had two children together. It was certainly very difficult. I loved her very much. I forgave her and gave her another chance. Which turned into two and finally her wanting a third chance, over the course of three years. At which time, I told her good-bye. I could have saved a lot of heartache and money, if I had stuck to my first decision and not allowed her to return each time. Games and lies get easier to play as time goes by. The more times a person is forgiven, the more they realize that they can get away with things and not have to change.

Maybe it is time to set her free. Maybe one day she will return, a much more mature and honest woman. Or maybe you will find what you are turly searching for.

Dave H.
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outwest
Guest
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: She's Baaaaaaaaack, posted by may10 on Mar 28, 2001

Thanks May, for the advice, and for coming back to our
board, we need you here.
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outwest
Guest
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to She's Baaaaaaaaack, posted by outwest on Mar 28, 2001

And I knew that all along, the whole thing was a huge waste
of time. Meeting someone on chat, is , while possibly
it may work out, quite boring, compared to meeting in person. I plan to just go over and take my chances,

And
i did not tell her to drop the other guy, quite the opposite, I told her, she may as well go for it with him,
becuase she and I aint happenin. I think even if you win
the argument sometimes, you lose the war.
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Jeff S
Guest
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to you guys are right, posted by outwest on Mar 28, 2001

... but your actions having additional conversations, going over your disappointments, etc., told her you wanted her back. Your actions spoke louder than your words. Had you simply picked up your marbles and gone home, the signals would have been far more clear. Just MHO.
-- Jeff S.
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outwest
Guest
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to You may have TOLD her to go to the other..., posted by Jeff S on Mar 28, 2001

yes , true, but, frankly i really did not want her back,
i just wanted her to realize she cant mess with peoples
lives like that,......but, you are right, actions speak
louder than words, Well, I am not too worried about it,
if she loses him, or not, she is the one who played all
the games with the truth, not me.
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Jeff S
Guest
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to true, posted by outwest on Mar 28, 2001

Glad to hear you're thinking straight on it. Best of luck!
-- Jeff S.
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Stan
Guest
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to She's Baaaaaaaaack, posted by outwest on Mar 28, 2001

COURTSHIP???Dont take this personally but you sound beyond DESPERATE, you have never met this woman whom is a liar to even know if she exists, and to make matters worse you have actually chatted with this supposedly other man? they could be a couple of children playing with your desperate heart on the internet and telephone, either way, even if she is for real it appears to be a lose-lose situation that will eventually add nothing to your life but a coronary! stop receiving her/its mails and put a period behind it, pickup your balls and move on! ....on to something real
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JoeBravo
Guest
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to She's Baaaaaaaaack, posted by outwest on Mar 28, 2001

hmmmm, you said you were through with her when you found out that she already got engaged quickly with a guy whom she haven't seen nor met. Then you exchanged emails and argued with her the whole time after that for what she did. well, I don't know but that kinda makes you more of a loser too like her. you just couldn't walk away and start anew. Now that she thought about getting back with you you just blow her off. tsk tsk, you just wasted your own time groanin and whinin about the whole thing instead of moving on. you are really proud that you c*ck blocked the other guy given that he did that to you too. you never know they could've worked things out and would've had a good relationship. but because you had a bad experience you had to drag someone down. Go and live in the Philippines and there's a heck of a whole lot more ladies you will meet that you can truly look at and choose to be with instead of getting all strung out with someone who you also haven't seen nor met in person.
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Jeff2
Guest
« Reply #11 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to She's Baaaaaaaaack, posted by outwest on Mar 28, 2001

Hey there;

Just my uninformed opinion, but I think you should give yourself a couple of weeks to think about it. In less time than that you will probably decide that there is not much future in a relationship with her.

There is no need to rush; you will live with your decisions for a lifetime.

Jeff
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Stephen
Guest
« Reply #12 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to She's Baaaaaaaaack, posted by outwest on Mar 28, 2001

....you and Shadow should flip a coin to see who get this looser!

Stephen
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shadow
Guest
« Reply #13 on: March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to I think that......, posted by Stephen on Mar 28, 2001

with a double headed coin! I pick tails!  Smiley
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