Internet dating is OK!

[Johann]

... in response to Konichiwa, and comments, posted by Bob S on Jan 17, 2004

Good evening, and thank you for your friendly reply.
Most of my reply to GREG says quite everything, sorry - but different people have different opinions.

We are not from the USA, we are not accustomed to US-regulations, we have different ideas about how to live together as a family.....
We both are not interested in living in USA, why should we?

About my daily life, you can find all and everything on my homepage
(http://www2.gol.com/users/johann)

Most users of this board are from USA or somehow related to the USA.
There are however some, like me, who have no relation to the USA at all. This means, that my opinion might be different - this should however not be a reason not to talk to each other or to post here. For me it is interesting to hear the opinion of people, living in the USA.

I married in Europe, Austria (1976) and moved later on into Japan (1981)with my wife, so I am not an example for the opposite direction as you might think.

Yes, I agree, Japanese or other Asian wife is much better than any of these feminist power-ladies from Europe or from the States.

So please consider my opinion as from a person, who has nothing to do with the life you are accustomed in the USA.

Thank you!
Johann

[Bob S]

... in response to Re: Konichiwa, and comments, posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

Relax, amigo.  So you're Austrian?  Fine.  So's our governor.  It doesn't change the principle of what I was saying.  Delete "American" and "Japanese" and insert "Spanish" and "German" or "Estonian" and "Italian".  The basic rule is still the same.  Whoever does the moving does the most studying.

Our situation is different from most guys here in that it was/is still easier for our girlfriend or fiancee from Japan to visit us in our afluent Western countries.  No visa required for short-term stay tourists.  The same cannot be said for the guys on this board searching for Fillapinas, Vietnamese girls, Russians, Ukrainians, and so on.  So I hope you'll understand if many here are not so open to your ideas.

And you are lucky to be able to live in your wife's country.  I'd love to move back to the Kanto area if I could find a job that pays the same as I can make here in California.  But my Nihongo skills are inadequate for the job of anything more than Pet Gaijin English Teacher (been there, done that). 8-(

[Johann]

... in response to Same Difference, posted by Bob S on Jan 19, 2004

Hi, thanks a lot for your nice message to me.
You know, this message board has a problem, it is difficult to find out which messages are new, and which one I read already. - It is always possible to put some new message between.
The board has an advantage however, it is free of adult materials, and separated in Asia, Latin and Russian.

Yes, I am Austrian, but a permanent Japanese resident (permission not related to Japanese wife) and also my father is living here in Tokyo with us (now 97 years old)

This is an English board, so of course center is USA - and on the other side is Philippines.
The problem is, as you said correctly, Philippines Immigration Laws are a hoax. (like Larry's good posting)
However USA Immigration Laws are also strange, rejecting the possibility of a visit (invitation) - some adjustments should be done about.

There are no problems for me at all (European Community - Japan - USA)-
but there are problems if you are like my friend from Former Yugoslavia, living in Japan, and have a Thai wife...
Or if you are a Japanese, inviting a Chinese from Mainland..
Visits up to 3 months are however possible, and as you know, take Philippines as an example, it is just usd 350,- for a return ticket, 3 hours by plane....

So all and everything is much easier for me from Japan, compared from the USA.
You are right about that.
Hope you find this message out of this board.

Let us stay in contact....
Thank you again
Johann from Tokyo

[Dingo]

... in response to Re: Konichiwa, and comments, posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

Your daughter is beautiful.
What a lucky guy.

[Ray]

... in response to Internet dating is OK!, posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

“It is the man, who has to study the language, the culture and all about the social background of the girl - Do not expect your girl to study about you!”

“It is the man, who has to be prepared to exercise an extraordinary amount of TOLERANCE towards his girl from abroad in case of any quarrel.”

I beg to differ with you, but marriage is a two-way street. The female partner better get with the program also or you’re likely to end up with only half a marriage.

Ray

[Johann]

... in response to Huh?, posted by Ray on Jan 17, 2004

Seems that only no.4 and no.6 is irritating you, and that you agree with 1,2,3 and 5.
There is no much difference between your and my opinion, as far as I can see.

You wrote:
I beg to differ with you, but marriage is a two-way street. The female partner better get with the program also or you’re likely to end up with only half a marriage.---

Easy said, but:
I agree, this is the way it should be. But this female partner is not the girl next door, this is a girl of different race, different religion, different education, different native language and living in a different part of this world.

about 4)

It is you, the man, who will continue your life as before, while the girl will move from her native country to your place. It is the girl, who is facing new living conditions and neighbourhood, and not you. The girl has to accept that as a fact, with less or more problems.

I think, in this sense you as the man should do the first step and try to know about the girl and her background, language and culture and should consider that, even before bringing her to your home in your country. This helps a lot to avoid plenty of misunderstandings and supports a long term relationship.

about 6)
is quite similar to 4)
but after her arrival at your home:
Feminists, racists and other more or less useless people, who do not like multi-racial marriage, are always coming up quickly with such arguments like violence, misuse, and blaming the man for all and everything, if something goes wrong.
I just want to say, that multi-racial marriage is sometimes indeed more difficult than if you take a girl just next door and where you quarrel about your differences with her as 1:1.
Some extra tolerance is surely required by the man, if your girl is from overseas. I think, nothing wrong if you (but better of course both of you)are well-prepared for unsuspected unpleasent surprises sometimes.....

Johann

[shadow]

... in response to Re: Huh?, posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

It is NOT always the man who continues life as before, and brings the princess to his country to live happily ever after.

There are thousands of expats living here in the Philippines with their brides. Life is NEVER as before for EITHER party.

Larry.

[Johann]

... in response to about #4., posted by shadow on Jan 18, 2004

4- It is the man, who has to study the language, the culture and all about the social background of the girl - Do not expect your girl to study about you!

I agree, I am living since 1981 in Japan.
I wonder, how I could do a living in Japan without considering #4 on my list.

To move into Asia and to live here with your Asian wife is the best!

Johann

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Huh?, posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

I hate to burst your bubble, but I'm not irritated and I don't agree with 1,2,3, and 5.

In fact, I really don't have any idea what you are mumbling about. LOL!

Ray

[Johann]

... in response to Re: Re: Huh?, posted by Ray on Jan 17, 2004

So what is your advice?
What do you think, is the best way, to contact a girl living in Asia for marriage and to bring her back to your home?
Johann

[Dingo]

... in response to Any other advice?, posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

Johann,

There is no best or worse way to meet someone from a foreign
country for marriage.  More importantly is what the two of you do once you meet. A good relationship should have a balance, with each partner willing to give and take. Try to understand the other person's points of view, religious, cultural, etc..

The internet is one of the greatest communication tools ever.
People should not be discouraged to use it as an aid in finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. Just remember trust is earned not given.

Don't waste your time trying to get answers from Ray.
Once he doesn't agree with your opinion he will just attack you. He will never answer your questions. He's too narrow minded. Also, you as you will see he always has to have the last word.

Cheers
Dingo ( USA )

[Johann]

... in response to Re: Any other advice?, posted by Dingo on Jan 17, 2004

Thank you very much for your reply.
As I said, I am not from the USA, but from Europe and now living in Japan and have some different opinion. Anyway my 6 points are the way I would recommend to everybody to consider, if he is looking for a foreign wife, for what reason ever.

Yes, internet must remain totally open for search for a foreign partner, and I am against any radical feminist, who wants to restrict that.

About Ray:
Thank you for your comments about Ray, as far as I can see, he made about 2500 postings - his profil does not contain any information about him and his way to post is strange....some postings contain useful informations, some are empty, some are just verbal attacks  -
maybe a former US-military serviceman, who has good knowledge about US-immigration and the Philippines, and all, what is different from that is attacked. He cannot understand, that his opinion is just one out of many opinions on this board.

I can only guess....such people usually do not provide any information about themselves....

And there is no obligation for me to reply to him...

Johann

[Ray]

... in response to Ray (and similar people), posted by Johann on Jan 17, 2004

Hey Johann,

Are you here to make trouble or participate in a civil manner? You can take your “similar people” and “such people” comments and stick them where the sun don’t shine.

Did I say that my opinion was any better than yours or anyone else's here? All I did was disagree with your premise that the man in these relationships has primary responsibility for making the marriage work. Are you so insecure that you can't tolerate a differing opinion from your own? Why did you automatically assume that I was irritated with your opinions? It seems that YOU were irritated with the fact that someone dared to disagree with you.

Now, why don't you simply express your opinions and share your experiences without the arrogant know-it-all attitude that you are here to teach us all about relationships with foreign women? We really don’t need a lecture, thank you.

If you try a little humility, then perhaps you would get a more friendly reception :-)

Now you have a nice day...

Ray

[SteveG]

... in response to Give it a rest buddy!, posted by Ray on Jan 18, 2004

Ray,
 All the guy(Johann) initially did to set you off was to use the word "Irritate" when referencing your response to his list.  He was very civil in answering all your comments even though you sure were not very nice to him.   Then you came back and ridiculed him by calling his posts "mumbling".   Now you have the nerve to jump HIM for being impolite?      I have noticed in the years I have been here on PL that every time somebody disagrees with you, you ridicule them to the point of being ridiculous then turn around and jump them for the slightest attempt to defend themselves.   That’s about as hypocritical as you can get in my opinion.    I think you need to back away and look at yourself as somebody else would see you.

   You did the same to Dingo.   Why is he a Troll?   Is it because he disagrees with you?  It’s funny but I thought a Troll was someone who comes to a board and posts only to get a reaction while taking no real active role in the purpose of the discussion.    That doesn’t fit Dingo at all.  

   SteveG

 

[Ray]

... in response to I agree with Bryan 100%, posted by SteveG on Jan 18, 2004

Hi Steve,

Re Dingo, you said “Why is he a Troll? Is it because he disagrees with you? It’s funny but I thought a Troll was someone who comes to a board and posts only to get a reaction while taking no real active role in the purpose of the discussion. That doesn’t fit Dingo at all.”

You don’t have to take my word for it Steve. In Dingo’s own words: “I'm not here to attack "others" just YOU. Also I'm here to put your sorry stink hole in your place.” NOW do you understand why I called Dingo a TROLL? That’s EXACTLY why he is here, as he admits, to start fights and disrupt the board. He has made unprovoked personal attacks on several members in recent weeks, including petty insulting comments directed at another member’s wife. Yes Steve, Dingo is a pathetic little trouble-maker. I think he is going through some personal crisis and doesn’t know how to deal with it, so he comes here to stir up crap and disrupt. I wish he would seek some professional help. Until then, I reserve the right to defend myself against his garbage, whether you like it or not.

I just wanted to clear that up for you since you seemed so concerned for poor little innocent Dingo. LOL!

Ray