success stories

[oira84]

Hi. I'm a researcher working on a project about international
relationships and marriages.

I'm looking for success stories. What makes your relationship
work? What hurdles have you hit, and how did you overcome
them? What are the biggest differences you still face?

Thanks for your help. Have a happy Christmas.

[Esiang]

... in response to success stories, posted by oira84 on Dec 22, 2003

I believe Asian people take it seriously the word Marriage,unlike in America once you get married you get divorced.Just my crazy opinion.

What makes your relationship work?
Laugh,Love,Loyalty,Fight,Faith,give and take,Honesty,Romance,Recognize and Accept mistakes, and Having Fun being married.

What hurdles have you hit, and how did you overcome them?
I think the INS processing so far he..he...it was a long wait before we can be reunited.And we overcome it with big phone bills....

What are the biggest differences you still face?
Differences will always be there, were both individuals with different views but have the same goals
for our future Family and our Marriage.

[oira84]

... in response to Re: success stories, posted by Esiang on Dec 23, 2003

Hi Esiang. Thanks for your response.

Would you mind sending me an email? I'm interested
in asking more about what makes your relationship
work.

Thanks. Hope you had a good Christmas.

[Jeff S]

... in response to success stories, posted by oira84 on Dec 22, 2003

.. is having a compliant little sex slave, decades younger than you, who will respond to your every beckoned call.

Unfortunately, that doesn't describe any of us here.

How about a little more info. In case you hadn't noticed, you're being met with plenty of skepticism.

- Jeff S.

[greg]

... in response to success stories, posted by oira84 on Dec 22, 2003

LoL

[Febtember]

... in response to Read the Archives, posted by greg on Dec 23, 2003

Hi Greg,
.... so much for the christmas card.You are very nice.Little Gregory is very handsome.Give my hug to him.Raquel

[greg]

... in response to Re: Greg Thank  You, posted by Febtember on Dec 23, 2003

your Family circle. Happy New Years too. Jesus is good all the time!!!!

[Peaches]

... in response to success stories, posted by oira84 on Dec 22, 2003


1. What makes your relationship work?
          a. good communication
           b. lots of TLC (tender loving care)
           c. understanding
           d. broadminded (cultural differences)
           e. good sex (:-
                           
2. What hurdles have u hit, how did you overcome them?
            a. slang words ( explanation)
            b. jealousy ( give a good laugh and forget about it)

to be continue...............

[oira84]

... in response to Re: success stories, posted by Peaches on Dec 23, 2003

Hi Peaches. Thanks for your post.

Would you mind sending me an email? I'm interested
in learning more about the hurdles you listed.

Thanks, and hope you have a good Christmas.

[Bear]

... in response to success stories, posted by oira84 on Dec 22, 2003

I think success stories for international relationships should be no different than local relationships, but alas, they are.  What makes our relationship work is I have a wife that doesn't think the things I do and/or give her I owe her (like my "ex" AW did) but rather I give them because I want to and can from the choice of my heart.

From the Filipinas side I think their being raised to be committed to marriage and loyal to their husbands is a major factor left out of most AM-AW marriages.  The Catholic upbringing that says "no" to divorce and separation meaning "find-a-way-to-make-it-work".  AW's are so selfish that they only think about theirselves and whats in it for them.  Struggle and committment when a good lawyer can make it easy on them, no way.

Another thing that makes it work is the communication and expectations we discussed before we married, which, not so supprisingly, have ended a lot of disagreements before they became arguments.  Disagreements were defused before they started through knowledge of what they other knew about each other before getting married.

The biggest and best is the "100-100" marriage we have.  It simply means both of us spend 100% of our time seeing that the others needs, wants, desire and expectations are met to the best of our ability to do so.  So rather than the other person having to be selfish and think of themselves they get most all they want but it comes from their spouse as a act of love, not an act of selfishness.

What do we have to overcome still?  Dealing with those outside of marriage who just seem to not like anyone who is happier and more in love than they are.  The naysayers and back-biters who are always try to cause problems!?

Additionally, I never criticize my wife or judge her actions to her or anyone else.  She is an important member of my family and has the right to grow and learn at her own pace as an individual and a mate and a mother.  It is my job to see that what ever her need is, I am there to support her.  I pay her honest compliments, bring her flowers aften (to keep the love in the relationship), send her cute e-mails when i can and encourage her right to decide the affairs of her life.

1085 days of marriage - 8 days short of 3 years.

Bear and Honey

[oira84]

... in response to Re: success stories, posted by Bear on Dec 22, 2003

Hi, Bear. Thanks for your thoughtful response.

Would you mind sending me an email? I'd like to talk
with you more.

Thanks, and hope you had a good Christmas.

[Febtember]

... in response to success stories, posted by oira84 on Dec 22, 2003

Hi Oira,
My answer to your question;

What makes your relationship work.

First;I forget what I really need instead think the best thing I can do for my husband.We always do rituals everyday like praying 15 decades of rosary together.I always complain him being messy but I always give him kiss so he won't feel so bad at all and tell him how handsome he is for me.We still both stranger in some ways there still lot;s of changes ahead us and we both willing to grow and change.My husband always love to give me a surprise  vacation and I truely like it.I always care about my body, exercise everyday,eat healthy food. I dont like being stress thingkin I gain lot's of weight.I don't want to think my husband wont be proud of me anymore because I look like a Grandma,Taking care of myself means taking care of our relationship.And all what I do is not just for me but for my husband.Be kind to each other.When we both have a disagreement,we never yell or fight but work things out. Raquel

[Humabdos]

... in response to success stories, posted by oira84 on Dec 22, 2003

Sounds like one sided research to me or maybe you have already completed your research on failed international relationships?

Humabdos

[Dave H]

... in response to Fuzzy logic researcher?, posted by Humabdos on Dec 22, 2003

Hi Hum,

Sounds too good to be true...no one wants to do research on successful international relationships! I think I'll pass on this one too. LOL

Dave H.

[bryan]

... in response to success stories, posted by oira84 on Dec 22, 2003

Hot sex and a 2.5 month old makes our relationship work, lots of work!