There are thousand story of filipina married to american.We heard lot's of succesful story and some ended up divorce.
I had a filipina  close nieghbor in philippines and she married a 60 years old american guy.She's 22 by that time ,fresh graduate from college.I remember her because I'm still in high school the time she got married.She came here in U.S and lost track of her.I don't know anymore what going on with her life here . Till one day she call me  and tell me she so happy to hear from her parents that I married american too.She ask me how old is my husband and when I tell her that he in his early 40's she say lucky me.So I start asking her what goin on with her life.She tell me she remarried so I ask her if her husband die but she say no. She divorce him.She tell me that the first reason she married his first husband is because she feel pity for him.She married him out of love.This filipina nieghbor of ours is came from a very well to do family.His parents own a public transportation (buses and trycicle )in Bohol.No wonder why she insist not to get married in church.I still remember that her husband really want her to marry in church but she say much better in civil wedding because it's quick and they can save lot's of money.As catholic we were teach that civil wedding is not consider true marriage.She tell me that when she arrived here she found the reality of marrying the  much older guy.She had back up plan of course that if she found a young american here she will marry him in church since back in her mind her first marriage is not valid in our church.Her first husband is real nice to her.The only problem, she feel so much embarass to be with him especially in public and some ask her husband if she is his daughter or some  ask her if he is her dad.Remember she is just 22 and her husband is 60.The longer she stay here in U.S.A the more she feel the reality of embarassment.She say she always feel jealous when she see young couple.She ended up not go to some party,and some gathering  or public places if her husband is with her.I remember I have high school classmate too and she married a  american guy same age as my husband and she made a comment to me one time that she feel embarass when she arrived here and found out that her husband nephew is much older than her.She say that if only she know her husband have  nephew 2 years older than her she should marry the nephew.It made me laugh.Back to my nieghbor,she decided to work here and of course her husband is nice so he let her work.Give her everything.Her married to the 60 year old guy never last long.She realize that there she is stuck up with him, soon he be really old and can't give her heaven anymore:).Plus the embarassment she feel inside everytime people stare at them when they were togther.It made her feel humilated.She mention that if only they live in philippines she guess she still be with her first husband.Of course she say that because in philippines people really never care if you married an older guy and you can seldom see young fil/am couple there while here in American you see lot's of young hot  single guy.And she realize too that soon she still be in her early thirties and her husband be 70.She say that she have no plan to change him diaper when he can't make it to the bathroom anymore.She divorce him after few years of marriage and found a younger guy.She is happy to tell me that she have her marriage in church which deep inside her she dream of having it someday.Wearing a nice traditional wedding gown.
Her last words to me is that those filipina who married older guy should never worry because there are million's of young american here waiting for them.Once they were here in U.S  they can shop younger husband if they wantLOL.I'm speechless I can't beleive she say that.My last question to her if she is guilty for marrying again and her answer is no because her first marriage is in civil wedding only.I know lot;s of filipina married in civil wedding with different reason but at least they married the guy because of love.And  I know some that plan to married in church after the civil wedding too.Now all what she say I guess is the reality of marrying much older guy.I'm glad too that nobody ask me if my husband is my dad.For me this sounds funny.My sister inlaw tell me that her husband been ask three times if she is his daughter and he just say that's my wife.My filipina sister inlaw is very tiny ,maybe that's the reason why.raquel

P.S peter I know you wife marry you because she love you.Let just hope she will never see hot young american in Daytona.

... in response to Guys like Peter are in big demand, posted by Ray on Nov 28, 2003

N/T

... in response to It's O.K. Hum, posted by Ray on Nov 30, 2003

Does she have the 2004 Gold Digger model with that turbo money sucking wallet attachment?

Hum

... in response to Filipina and big age gap, posted by Febtember on Nov 22, 2003


He he he he,

I am glad you brought the subject up about age Raquel.   You have seen my civil wedding pictures I forgot the ring that day and we had to hold hands in place of the ring.  I appreciate your letter I know it has been discussed many times but not with me.  Yes, my wife will see many hot young American men in my Martial Arts School.   She will also see me teach a Tae Bo Kickboxing class full of hot women of all ages.   The women will before and after ask me questions and in their way flirt a little.   We know there are many men looking for Filipinas on the internet.   But at home as you know there are plenty of local women the men are attracted too.  I and the PL members are really exceptions.   One of the reasons my wife feels uncomfortable coming here to the USA is thinking she has to keep up with the American women.   I was in Asia most of my Army and Air force enlistment.   So I have been conditioned to favor Asian women as I could see the difference.  Dating Asian women lucky for us is not yet in the mainstream.  So men who are selective and seek Asian ladies are not as easy to find as those who date local women.    
Yes I am 60 on 7 Dec this year and Maricel will be 21 in July.
I know too well the risk I am taking with such a big age difference.  
I never would have believed it a few years ago that this would happen.  
I remember going to the VA hospital and there was an older Guy in a wheelchair being wheeled around by a loving loyal young Filipina wife.  I spoke to them and they seemed like a loving couple married for 12 years.  I am sure there are many horror stories.   I read the book “It’s a long way to go for a date.”  About how an older Canadian married this 18 year old who gave him serious problems.  I studied the matter for a while before I decided to look for a wife in the Philippines.   You know I own a Martial Arts School here in Daytona.   I don’t want to defend marrying a young wife as I know the risks are higher.  A relationships and loving someone is a personal matter and sometimes defies explanation.  I would like to tell you how I came to marry someone so young and you can comment about it after if you like.
I knew my wife was young but not that young, she seemed older.   I was disappointed when I found out she was 19 at the time and crossed her off my list.   We were introduced by her Aunt in the Aunt’s house and coz I wasn’t serious I clowned around with her at first.   I compared her to older ladies that I met though the internet and dated in Davao and Cebu.  She seemed more mature in many ways and there was a natural attraction.  I looked forward to see her more than anyone else and we started to court and the rest is history.    
As a Martial Arts Instructor I have always dated girls younger than me, most of my friends and I see it as a natural part of dating.   My mom is 20 years older than me does anyone know if this has something to do with it?  Any how there were many times when I dated a girl even 5 years younger and there is always some wise guy with the same old condescending comment “is that your daughter?”   Why do they do that?  The same reason when you trip there is always some fool ready to laugh at you.   It is a way of telling the girl “look you can do better than that look at me!”  These are jerks, it bothers them and they wish they were in your shoes.  A reasonable person would adjust to the situation and give a nice greeting.  That would be a person worth trying to know, I certainly would not change my lifestyle for any JERK.  If my wife was bothered by that, the JERK was not the problem.  Any one have any good come back for “Is that your daughter!”  [Coz this guy is a master Jerk]?  “No, my daughter is at home with the babysitter this is my wife.” Or “No, this is my babysitter and I’m her baby.”  I have in my years of observing my students and friends seen couples married close to their age and end in divorce.   So there is no guarantee for any marriages.  

Yes the more the age gap the more risk is true, but similar ages are also at risk.   Lots of couples with a large age difference sleep in different beds, so do same age couples, it’s common.   Younger couples drift apart and get attracted to other mates and the stats for divorces with similar ages in the US show it.   If the relationship is based on a sexual attraction it could be doomed when the sex attraction wears off.  
I think the risk factor is lessoned when you know you’re partner is with you coz they just like to be with you.  
Raquel you brought out a good point focusing on the embarrassing part when a young girl is in company with a much older guy.   Well it has already happened to me just dating girls who were 28 when I was in my 40’s.   These girls were worried what others would think and later I would date someone else even younger and there was no problem.   So it depends on the motivation of the women and why they are with that older person in the first place.  
There is over 18 year’s difference between my wife’s mama and papa.  The hard life of a Philippine farmer and the family shows more over there than here as they get older.  Papa sleeps in his own bed and mama sleeps with the girls in a 2 bedroom house.   In that I may have a little advantage as not looking so old coz I have kept myself in good shape with my Martial Arts all these years.  
On relationships and age again I have an older renter in his late 50’s who just had his wife die of cancer, she was Japanese and in her early 30’s I see tears in his eyes whenever he talks about her.   He watched his younger wife die and said he won’t marry again.
David Letterman is married to a younger wife, you can research but I believe she is much younger and he is in his late 50’s.   He even joked about when his kids are teenagers and make the most trouble he’ll be dead LOL.  
I was first impressed with a couple here in Daytona the wife is from Dipalog in Mindanao.  She is now 25 and her husband is as old as me, she met her husband through a magazine add years ago when she was just 19.   They are married now 3 years and have made good friends with them coz she can’t wait for my wife to come over so they can speak visaya together and talk behind our back LOL.  They are a good example for me and give me lots of hope.
Yes, the age difference doesn’t seem to be as much of a problem in the Philippines as it is here.   So what is the cause?  It could be worrying about what others think.  
The Couples I met with the big age differences seemed happy and successful in their relationships they didn’t care if others didn’t approve.  I am sure when a large age difference fails there will be plenty of people on the bandwagon saying I told you so.  
Although my wife is young she has a way of carrying herself that makes here seem older.   We met through introduction and Maricel never used the internet before I met her.   Later she proved to be a real bad chat mate for many months before she got the hang of things.   Even now she doesn’t like to go to the email café’s but goes coz it is the only way we can communicate.   Her English is ok but has trouble communicating her feelings on the chat.   Her mail and letters are warm and from the heart and our phone chats are the best.  She knows the phone is expensive and doesn’t want me to call to often to save money.    
Once I arrived in the US in Feb 03 I tried to get her to meet me on yahoo and chat on a regular bases.  Yup, you guessed it, at first she would always be late or not come on the chat at all.  I would expect it and joke about it.  It was not easy to get on line when she was going to school and she had lots of chores to do as payment for school with her aunt.  Emails were every other day or so.   I have to add here that had I only met her through email introduction I would not have been attracted or interested in her or her pictures.   Now I recommend in using the email or chats to make friends first to meet them in person and after that getting more personal.  You won’t get involved with a relationship that asks for money or cell phones before you actually have met them.    

A combination of things has kept us together to the point that we got married.   The 2 month motorcycle trip together bonded us to the point that we missed each other when we were apart.   Being German I was not the most romantic guy on the planet.   I felt great when we were together.  This was not based on a sexual relationship as I know there has to be much more to last for years to come.  I had never been with a virgin before and knowing that it was given up for me had a profound impact on me.  I saw it as a total commitment and life long relationship with me.   What about kids?  Well we talked about it; most girls her age when married are already pregnant.   When we were in the mandatory seminar for the marriage license lots of girls were already pregnant.   There was no attempt on my wife’s part to not get pregnant.  So Ray and the others warned me to take control over that.  Most girls know that if they were ever to remarry and they have children it would be difficult.   So that was another way of saying that she was totally committed.  
Well it would be a great experience to raise a kid even in my age.   I we talked about it and would like to have two.  Maricel wants to start right away.  I would wait till everything settles down, I could dedicate more time now than when I was younger to raise a child.   All this has been done before by men as old as me successfully, I would work to be one of them.   When our kids are 18, 20 and ready to leave the house I will be in my 80’s and time for me to retire LOL.   As I remember it Grandparents raise kids better than some of the parents anyway.  They have more time, experience and patience.  So I would be a parent with the experience and wisdom of grand parents.   It is a good team coz she will have the youth and extra energy.  What about when I get too old to take care of myself?   Couple of things can happen, I go to the VA nursing home which I would have ended up if I didn’t get married anyway or if I am lucky she will take care of me, I am still no worse off by getting married.   My Mom is 82 in Feb 04 and going strong, buying and selling houses driving and taking care of herself.  .   Yes when my wife is 45 I may need some assistance or maybe not.   If I die early she will have the estate and some Social Security.  My grandparents all lasted into their mid 90’s one great grandfather made it to 101.   I believe that if I take care of her now there is a good chance she will take care of me later.   Well wishful thinking perhaps but if she does leave it was still worth the chance and I would do it again.   I knew all the things that could happen when I went into the relationship and all I have to go on is my trust in her that she will still love me years from now.  
I had a gf in England who was from California stationed with me.  We dated for over a year.  I had a spin injury from a military parachute jump.  I was sent to Texas to rehabilitate after surgery.  No, she did not come to see me;   she heard I may be crippled for the rest of my life.  I was alone for 2 years.  So now I feel I have a better chance than back then in the hospital wondering if I would get a letter or phone call feeling like Roger Dangerfield.

About the white wedding, I have mentioned that before that I have been invited to countless weddings with cakes as big as a car; in the church with the mothers crying.   It didn’t guarantee that there would be no divorce; many white weddings didn’t make it.   What about not counting a civil wedding as really being married.  And later waiting for the younger guy to get married to in a Church to be really recognized?   Well if a girl can lie to herself in that way I sure wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end.   If a girl gets divorced from an older guy and tells the younger guy it didn’t count coz it was just a civil wedding she would be on the high risk list for anyone including the poor guy she marries in the church LOL.
She sounds like justifying her actions, but people when they want too will justify anything.    
In the end there is no guarantee not to get a divorce in spite of all the ceremony’s, cakes, church wedding, and mothers crying.    

To me it is the two people who have committed to each other beyond any papers and ceremony that have made a bond of loyalty friendship and trust that will make it.   I had a Filipina call me on the phone here in the USA she had just gotten married using the fiancé visa.   We chatted for months with me from the Philippines before she was married.  She was not in love with her then fiancé now husband but she trusted him and knew he was loyal to her.  Last we talked she was going to commit to him 100% coz he was a good man.  She was 25 and he was 42 with a middle income.    With that attitude I believe she would make a good wife and real love takes time to develop.  
I know there are some who no matter what, will disagree and when you meet me and my wife you can always say “Is that your daughter?”
Peter Lee

... in response to Re: Re: Filipina and big age gap, posted by bryan on Nov 25, 2003

I think you could be on to something! Hummmmmmmm...
Hum

... in response to Peter Lee= The Walker?, posted by Humabdos on Nov 25, 2003

uhmm.....Peter Lee's spelling is much worse than The Walker's spelling. Could it be a ruse to throw off the trackers?

Tune it next week, same batchannel, same battime.

... in response to Re: Both are combat veterans, posted by Peter Lee on Nov 26, 2003

[This message has been edited by Matt]

Hi Peter,

Please sir, mein guter kamerad, I don't have a condescending attitude toward you.

I just saw someone joke about the Walker and you and I thought I would joke about your spelling. Only teasing sir!

The Walker was a long time poster and some members thought that his posts were pure fiction. As for me, I enjoyed reading them. He was an ex-SF member who got recalled and he also had a .50 caliber sniper rifle that he took to Afganistan and some members criticised his wife (because she had to stay at the ranch) also as being fiction. If the stories weren't true, they still put a lot of effort into them, so I didn't criticise The Walker. I always found their posts entertaining.

So I don't know why anyone was joking here about you, but I just posted to kid you about your spelling.

As for military combat experience, I respect all veterans and appreciate your service.

http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/asian/archives/display.php?archive=000126&id=40780

http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/asian/archives/display.php?archive=000126&id=40776

http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/asian/archives/display.php?archive=000126&id=40691

http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/search/searchdisplay.php?page=asian&archive=000107&id=35546&bold[]=walker

But Peter, I thought you knew who Don and Vicky were (aka The Walker) because you posted about him.

... in response to Only respect for you, posted by Matt on Nov 26, 2003

Hey I thought the bull sperm business he ran was the best. He was rich from the sperm bank he ran I guess I am in the wrong field. Now how much would workers cost to collect the sperm because I am not a hands on type of guy!