Dear All,
I am 49.
Those of you who know I was engaged to a Cuban last year (29, a dentist) may also know that our relationship failed partly due to money arguments. I left her in Havana with money for a passport fee, a health exam fee, and various other fees the Cuban government soaks you for when you are leaving paradise. Two thousand dollars in all. But instead of saving it for these pending expenses, she used it for her family and new clothes, and then lied to me about it.
So how refreshing it is to have had a new kind of money argument with my current Vietnamese fiance (38, a teacher and principal of six kindergardens who makes $200/month and has no assets).
When I arrived at the Saigon airport last month, she picked me up with a taxi and paid for it when we arrived at my hotel. I did not argue as I had no VN money at that point. The next day, I changed my money first thing. At breakfast, she paid the bill over my objection. The same thing happened at lunch. By dinner I knew to get the waiter to deliver the check to me, but this situation persisted whenever we had meals out and we constantly fought over who had the right to pay the bills even after she learned that I make her monthly salary in an hour as a real estate developer.
A few days into my two week trip, we decided to visit her family north of Saigon in Dalat. She went out to buy the airline tickets and we had another argument as she did not want to take my money. I had to force four 50s in her purse. When she returned she gave me three 50s. I became suspicious and asked to see the tickets, whereupon I determined that they had cost $65.
Before I left I opened a bank account, put $2500 in it and her name on it. I figured she would need some money for the English classes she is now taking, passport fees, etc. As I prepared to go to the airport to return to the US, I placed $200 on her desk. "What is that for?" she demanded. I said that she could use it for whatever she wanted. "Well," she said in an slightly annoyed tone of voice "I donīt need anything." I left the money on the desk.
Last week I asked her what she had done with the money. She said she put it in the bank account because she does not need it. I asked where she got the $111 for the English classes with the native speaker and she said used her own money for it.
What a girl.
Hamlet
