It is enough to make you cry

[Howard]

... in response to You people are making me nuts., posted by HaroldC on Oct 7, 2003

asdf

[Peter Lee]

... in response to You people are making me nuts., posted by HaroldC on Oct 7, 2003

Well you know I had the same question to her about the highway widening.  If only it was as simple as you described.  The way it was explained to me was that years ago the house was built close to the highway so a suri, suri store could be built to make a little money.  I had seen many suri suri stores right on the road a few steps away from the highway.  The problem with that is if it is too close the Govt, owns enough access to widen the road someday.  No one ever expects the road to widen so they don't worry about it.  
So the story that many homes could be torn down and not be compensated could be true.  I was told the kitchen was on private property and would be left standing.  
On my 2200 miles of touring in July and August I toured many of the islands.   I noticed a lot of road construction in the remote areas funded by the Govt.  When I left Iloilo instead of heading for the easy East coast and nice roads I went the West side of the Island.  This was not recommended in the travel guide coz the roads were so bad.  But as we traveled through the remote sections we found large pieces of bad road replaced by white concrete roads partially finished and most under construction.  This included the bridges and mountain roads.  I was amazed to find this going on all at the same time.  My only guess is that this Govt was not as corrupt as the previous one and some money has been put to good use.  You need good roads to build an economy and it is long over due.  Big trucks carrying sugar cane has destroyed  remote roads and now have a hard time to get to and from there destination.  So I seen a massive drive to fix back country roads.  It seems that her town is due for a widening.  Even the wide roads are the width of your driveway.  
If it would not be to much trouble you could get into a more detail about the highway when you ask next time.  
You may have ask her under what conditions would the Govt. not reimburse the house owner?
When I was in Bohol and looked at a resort in Panglao the hotel was nice but a dirt road was in front of the hotel separating it from the beach.  I was told the road was a Govt. road and that it would be expanded and paved in time.  The hotel would lose land to the new road when it is built but would still have control of the beach on the other side of the proposed highway.   Any house unfortunate enough to be built on the Govt. right of way would be removed with no compensation.  
I looked on my map and it seemed like more that 60k from Iligan.  Her sister lives in Tambulig which is a third of the distance to Iligan and it takes her 3 hours by bus they call the short cut.   It doesn’t sound like an easy place to reach.  Ask the party if they are familiar with Kapatagan.  I was told that the doctor comes every Friday.  All I know is there is no cell phone coverage because of the mountains and there is no email café’s.   She has to travel 30 minutes to get to an email café.  When at the café there is no cell coverage.   Very frustrating but the decision to go to her parents and wait for further paper work was the best we could come up with at the time.   The sickness if it is a kidney infection is controlled quickly with antibiotics.  The widening of the highway and the selling of the cow and borrowing money could be a reality.  But so far I am not ask for help and If I help it will be when the dust sets so I can see what best to do.    

[HaroldC]

... in response to Re: You people are making me nuts., posted by Peter Lee on Oct 7, 2003

a guy at Basil's office just got back after lunch- he went this morning.

[HaroldC]

... in response to Re: You people are making me nuts., posted by Peter Lee on Oct 7, 2003

That was my Imelda's best friend Basil (the only other woman I am approved to chat with) on Yahoo chat (only from work at lunch time)- or email, of course.

Kapatagan - Tambulig = 20K in 3 hours! I can walk faster than that, unless it is straight up.

By the way, Basil is very sweet and available, if anyone is interested- picture at:

http://www.filipinamates.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?topic=5127&forum=21&2

It is obvious, however, that she does not meet Ray's criterion.

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: You people are making me nuts., posted by Peter Lee on Oct 7, 2003

Hi Peter,

It seems that just about everyone gets compensated in the Philippines. If you own a piece of land with squatters living on it, you compensate them so they will move peacefully. In my wife's hometown, the police chief was killed by a board with a nail in it when his force tried to evict squatters off of private land. Nobody was ever charged.

I hope that your wife is able to obtain medical care soon.

Dave H.

[Humabdos]

... in response to Re: Re: she can go to local doctor in he..., posted by Peter Lee on Oct 6, 2003

"It is getting her a lot of attention and after all she is not fully mature yet being 20 years old so it is hard to tell". Get use to it Peter maybe she will grow up in ten years. ;-)
Hum

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: she can go to local doctor i..., posted by Humabdos on Oct 6, 2003

Well I'm not going to excuse her if that is what she is doing.  It is a bit too early to pass judgment on her just yet.  If it is what you say I can live with it, I knew what I was getting into.  It makes it hard when I am not there, so I don't know what's going on.  There is the possibility that everything she is saying is true LOL Even then I would need help to figure out the best options on how to deal with that.  Immaturity in this case could be bad if it causes her to make bad discussions on delaying to see a doctor.  But she has a record of being straight with me while I was with her.  Her being sick makes it impossible to go to Cebu and take money out of the ATM as scheduled.  Once there I can have her do other paperwork that is needed.  In the past she has had no problem in following my orders.  Because she is sick and hard to communicate with makes me feel helpless.   Remember my trip report I lay in the hotel room for 12 days and did not ask for a doctor.  I am not a good example for her in this case.  Do as I say not as I do thing.  I have to say that in the long 2200 mile trip she showed remarkable maturity.  Now she is on her own and only her parents to guide her.  Maybe she will grow up in 10 years LOL I haven't grown up in 60, are you suggesting that she might grow up before me? LOL

[Nanz]

... in response to It is enough to make you cry, posted by Peter Lee on Oct 6, 2003

Poor Maricel, she really needs a treatment from a doctor. Tell her not to wait till it get worse. If she’s worry to spend the money you sent her, so what is the use of it if she’s sick and not spending it? She can save later. The herbs she’s taking might help, but the best thing is she must to see a doctor and take a good medicine. So, when she’s feeling better she can start processing some of your paper works.

About their house, I guess they can use some of the materials. And Peter, don’t expect that her parents will ask you for help in building a new house. Of course they have pride and want to stand by their own. And lending money is a big pain, instead of helping they are trying to kill you with the big interests. So that is not a good idea. But, if her parents have no choice, I guess they will force to do that. In the Philippines we are not oblige to help or pay to our parents back, but it is up to us to think and help if we have something to help.

Don’t think that because their daughter is married to a KANO and now these things come up. It just happened that after you married to Maricel and now they have this kind of problem. It is an incident if these all things are true.
I’m sure they can build the new house, and yes it is very hard for them. If you want to help your wife's family, I guess that would be fine because you are part of the family now. I’m sure any help you can offer they will be delighted, and so with your wife. But, you must to wait and keep updated about the house before you offer some help. Like Raquel said you don't know exactly what is the real thing.

This is only my thoughts,
Nancy

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Re: It is enough to make you cry, posted by Nanz on Oct 6, 2003

Hi Nancy,
I was thinking the same thing as you.  But like I told Raquel it is too early to tell.  I think what I will do is wait a while to see how things develop.   You know she is a hard head and didn't listen to me about the doctor.  I will try again when we communicate again.  But so far no one is seriously hurt or has cancer.  Kidney infections happen all the time and the house thing is just a hardship.  You can always say it could be worse.  I can always step in at a later time and help.  It makes it harder coz I can never go to that area where they are living coz it is too dangerous.

[HaroldC]

... in response to Re: Re: It is enough to make you cry, posted by Peter Lee on Oct 6, 2003

What do you mean you could never go there?

[Peter Lee]

... in response to I'm going within 60k of there in 3 weeks..., posted by HaroldC on Oct 7, 2003

Well HaroldC I watched my wife's Mom come off the ferry from Ozamis and in the crowd only two foreigners debarked the ferry.  One was Belgium and the other German.  I talked to them a while and they indicated that Ozamis was safe but they didn't go out much at night.  They stayed in the city the whole time. I regarded Ozamis and Iligan very safe.  My back up plans were to meet the whole family in Ozamis and have a get together with the family I have never seen.  
Unfortunately I was in Davao and that was safe too until 2 weeks after I left last year a bomb was set off in the airport.  This would not discourage me from feeling safe in Ozamis and Iligan
The store I bought the motorcycle from in Cebu had lots of mechanics and salesmen.  When I told them I was thinking of going to Kapatagan with the motorbike no one thought it was a good idea.  Maricel's Aunt and Uncle and her own mother didn't like the idea. Maricel did not think it was a good idea, I wondered how safe it was for her there then LOL.  
On a good note there is division of the Philippine Army close to Kapatagan.  We know that coz her older sister before she got married sold a lot of stuff in her suri,suri store on the highway.  I have a married couple here in Daytona who is from Dioplog she says it is very safe there as long as you stay in the city.  The American husbands never venture out of the city for fear of being kidnapped.  In my last 2.5 hour phone conversation with her at her sisters house Tambulig which is 3 hours away east of Kapatagan Tambulig is really in Zamboanga a well known no no for any foreigners.  The sister told me a recent story of a local rich business man kidnapped and when the ransom was not paid was cut open to bleed to death.  A Muslim was riding a stolen motorcycle, he didn't stop when asked too  was shot in the back.  I have not confirmed any of these stories yet but the sister knew about it and it was recent.
I know very little of the area and how dangerous it is, I know that it is mountainous and considered unsafe for foreigners.  Villages that dot the country side are both Christine and Muslims mixed.  They are close to each other and I am told problems get out of hand sometimes.  Maricel in her first email chat to me was excited about seeing a foreigner in the next town visiting his wife's family.  If you have information on Kapatagan and Tambulig it would be appreciated.  As of now she doesn't feel safe riding the motorcycle around at night.   Sounds like the wild Wild West to me.  The sister told me that if a motorcycle is stolen and placed in plain view in a Muslim village no one will go and get it in fear of getting shot.  
I would like to go to her town as I did in my 2200 miles journey through part of the Visayas and Palawan.  But every place I turn I am told it is not a wise idea.

[Esiang]

... in response to Re: It is enough to make you cry, posted by Nanz on Oct 6, 2003

In the Philippines we are not oblige to help or pay to our parents back, but it is up to us to think and help if we have something to help.

I don't think so he..he..part of our culture we are oblige to pay back or help our parents unlike in Admerica it's UP to you KID....

Lucky for those pinoy raised by their parents who does not expect anything from their kid like my Mother whom I dont really worry about problems especially money....

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Re: Re: It is enough to make you cry, posted by Esiang on Oct 6, 2003

Well I will know soon enough what is expected of the children of their Mother.  So far not much is expected and Mom and Dad are handling it with out help.  Right now it is a wait and see.  All the details have to be given to make a descision on what the best thing to do.  Remember there are only 4 daughters two of which are under 15.  The older one is newly married with a 2 year old son.  I don't thing the parents are expecting a lot of help from any of them.  But my upbringing would never allow my mom or dad to be in a hardship situation in their old age.  So when the smoke clears and I see the damage we can fix it later.  Like some said in other letters it is part of my family now too.

[Esiang]

... in response to It is enough to make you cry, posted by Peter Lee on Oct 6, 2003

Hi Peter,

        Maricel should  be able to get money from the atm in Ozamis City and check herself to a doctor, I've been there that's  my best friend's hometown, however with your processing it's better in Cebu.
        I hope in Cebu her Aunt won't be expecting any charge from her living in their house he..he..as you said before she was like cinderella in her Aunt's house.
        I can picture her like that my best friend used to.

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Ozamis, posted by Esiang on Oct 6, 2003

Hi Esiang,

Well you know I had her go to Ozamis to use the ATM card and she could not get it to work in any of the banks.  It is a First Union Bank and she says she had trouble even in Cebu, only the First Union Bank in Cebu would work.  So she did try it, I ask her to go inside the bank and see what they had to say but she didn't do that yet.  She has $200 left from money I gave her before we said good bye.  She has plenty of money to see the doctor.  Yes, she likes Cebu and I don't blame her after being a country girl in the mountains.  Her Aunt does not charge her for staying in the house, she just makes her work, work, work.  It is very crouded coz lots of other cousins and nephews are there 3 and 4 to a bed.  It was a place she used to go to Collage for 2 years.  I ask her where she would like to go when I leave for the US and she said her Mom's house in Kabawe.