She can go shopping with her ATM
and she can withdraw money from the ATM
I get to put in as much money as i like into her account

Both of us will have phone cards, that way we will be in budget all the time

She can buy me a surprise present for birthdays

I get most of my bills come automatic out of my accounts

there is no chance for human error.

Any further than that would be in my experience a grave error.

If anything does happen you are on a sinking ship with no life raft.  

The US court system will teach you a lesson to never do that again next time.  

Lessons will be repeated till learned

Just my $.02

I did all those things you mentioned.For a couple of reasons.First off to let Joy know we are a team and to quickly let her understand the value of the dollar.Not that she didn't understand the value of the peso but we live here in a different economy.She no longer believes the US is the land of milk and honey.The second reason I did those things you mentioned is because I suk when it comes to handling money.Left to my own devices I have been known to roll pennys!I told her...I am the CEO and you are the CFO.It has worked out well.She can stretch a buck and she is very careful without being annoying.We have had some disagreements like when I wanted to risk capital in the stock market.I had to explain things so she would see it my way.She was still a little hesisitant but I am the CEO so we worked it out.

Your points are well made.Certainly some limits should be set during the engagement but after marriage the trust should be there to set up financial housekeeping.

Oh yeah...my stock is down 50pct and I am desperate to get out.I am still the CEO but more of a figurehead these days:)Oh well.

tito Matt

God Bless our troops

Yes, thank you for your letter.

I have just finished chatting with febtember for about one hour. With your letter and my call to the school in Cebu there is no doubt that the tuition was highly inflated. The question was why? When I talked to the director Mrs. Psamos she knew my fiancé personally. She gave her character high marks and continued to talk about what a great student she was. She was well liked and carried herself better than most among the almost all men school. She also let it known that she was to be married in July to an American named Peter Lee. Now I know this girl myself for over 20 days and have chatted with her since Jan 03. Yes not a lot of time but enough for basics. She has no jewelry, no watch, her clothes are basic. Where would the inflated extra money go? When I courted her at her house she was always working so hard for her aunt. Cleaning, cleaning, and washing clothes, cooking, fetching water busy, busy. All aunts kids had a cell phone, she didn't. Aunt's kids slept allot, didn't do chores like her. A Cinderella story. It was because of aunty that we got to know each other in the first place. So the money had to go someplace? I think aunty has her by the string. She owes much to her aunt, knowing me and the chance to go to school. There was a plan when I was asked for 48,000 pesos. Stupid anyway coz if we were to get married as planned she would never go to sea and it would be wasted money anyway. When I said no to the high tuition she just said ok and changed the subject, as if she had promised to bring it up. Aunty gets on the web and emails to guys that think it is her daughter. So Febtember and I figured out it was her Aunt that was behind the inflated tuitions and extra expenses. Her Aunt was getting the extra money. When I called the Aunt last night she didn't know anything about tuitions and the prices. Aunty was the one paying for all these tuitions before I got there, she had to know. I think I got part of the story now to get the other part. If I get my fiancé’s confidence she may tell me about her Aunt, I will try
Your letter surly confirms what we found, now we want to find out why? If this is true she had to choose between me and her Aunt. So she lied to me and paid off aunty. Does this make her a bad girl or a victim?

I had tears in my eyes reading it

coz it came from the heart

I am sad coz i wish the girl i love was that way

but i would rather have a broken heart than be used anymore

i have not confronted her yet

i wanted to see what she would say

But after reading your letter and comming from you not a guy but a filipina I see that it doesn't matter what she says there is no excuse.  What hurts the most is I told her that my hip is badly hurt and i need surgery in the end of April.  So she knows i still teach private lessons for my job that hurts my hip more so i can make more money.   Something inside me said that the tuition is too high.  Something said the expenses are too high.  But I trusted her and would not think she would cheat by inflating the expenses and tuition.  What really did it was the 48,000 which was really only 10,000.  What i still don't understand is if we were to get married the tuition would't be paid anyway.  So why did she bring it up?  Was she trying to get all that money?  For what?  When i see her in Cebu at her Aunts house she was not materialistic.  She only owned some clothes and a few shoes.  No jewelry or watch.  I seen her work like cinderella at her aunts place do all the chores and cook the rice and clean, clean, clean.  My thoughts are that her Aunt may have had something to do with it.  But she emptied the ATM account before she left without saying anything to me.  I had put the money in the account to see what she would do.   When asked about how much was left out of over 10,000 pesos she said 6,000.  What did you do with the rest, It was for more graduation expenses, was the asnwer.   I am wondering between you and me where all the money went.  I don't think she used it for herself, but there i go again trusting old me.