19 & a 50+ year old

[bryan]

... in response to Re: 19 & a 50+ year old, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 17, 2003

If you define love I'll define Immoral dispicable and lecherous. Ive walked away from relationships where i felt i was in love and but had to end the relationship for other reasons. For instance I was very much head over heels in love with a woman who liked to party a little bit and had no problem with it. I on the other hand am an alcoholic and never could get a hold of the problem while with her. After we went our seperate ways (hardest thing ive ever had to do) I was able to deal with my own problems and have since been sober.

My pinay is 9.5 years younger than I, we met when I answered her personal on yahoo. We were married last year in July and have been having a really good time. The realtionship does have its ups and downs. She is currently blowin through a GED program so she can join me @ the local college where Im currently taking classes. She is also expecting with the big arrival sometime in OCT.

Love isnt a good enough reason to stay in a relationship, sometimes the greater good is served when you walk. I know for me i would be a mess if I hadnt walked a time or two. Actually I hold no Ill will and really hope you the best, it was wrong of me to wish bad things on another. I will stand by my original post and think 30 year age differences is to much. You are the person with power and control so your decisions will guide you and her on this path. I hope you have given consideration to her future as well as your own.

Sometimes the old Planet love Board could use a good stirring and this subject always does the trick

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: 19 & a 50+ year old, posted by bryan on Mar 18, 2003

Bryan, I don't think it was the "subject" that stirred up the shiit here, but the insensitive way in which you presented your opinions.

A lot of people would agree with you that a 30-year age gap is too much. Others would say that the fact that you are 9-1/2 years older than your wife makes you a lecherous, despicable, immoral pervert. I think it’s best to drop the “I’m more moral than you” crap and just state your opinions in an intelligent manner. And it is NEVER acceptable to insult another member’s fiancée or wife because you disagree with something he said or did, IMHO. Anyway, thank you for apologizing to Peter for you stupid comments.

There is absolutely nothing immoral or illegal about two consenting adults marrying each other. You may not like the idea of a 59-year-old guy marrying a 19-year-old, but that doesn’t make it immoral. I believe that large age differences are serious and should be carefully considered before marriage. What is a “large” age difference? I don’t think there is any threshold or magic number of years where it becomes a problem when you surpass it. It depends on the ages of the parties involved. I like to use this formula, for age at the time you start courting:

Her Age Minimum = (His Age / 2) + 7

If He is 90, then she should be at least 52 (a difference of 38 years). If he is 30, then she should be at least 22 (8-year difference), etc. I think the same should apply if she were older. What were the ages of your wife and yourself when you started courting?

Ray

[Michael B]

... in response to Age Differences, posted by Ray on Mar 18, 2003

Oh, Gracie.

Yes, George?

I overheard you bragging to Mrs. Vanderhall about how long we've been marrried.

Well, George, you know I'm really proud of being married to you.

Yes, I know. But later that same night you were telling Mrs. Murphy when you were born.

Well, so? What's wrong with that?

Nothing, I guess, but what if they compare notes? Do you really think they're going to beleive I married you when you were four years old?

[lswote]

... in response to Age Differences, posted by Ray on Mar 18, 2003

[This message has been edited by lswote]

The week I met my wife, I also met another woman who was older.  I was 48 and the other woman was 37, divorced and had two children, seemingly a good age for me, stable, etc.  My wife on the other hand reported her age to be 30 (she was actually 32, but had lied since she barely looks 25), never married and no kids.  I almost didn't go out with her because she rubbed me wrong the first time I met her, but somehow she ended up on my very busy date schedule.  In fact she was my last date on the last day of a 6 day tour at LAI.  On our date she apologized for rubbing me the wrong way in such a charming fashion that she really changed my opinion of her.  When I got back to the states I tried to make the relationship with the other woman work because she "fit the formula" better, but couldn't get my wife out of my mind, and when on my next visit the other woman stood me up for a date, I finally stopped fighting my feelings for my wife.  Then I found out she was actually 32, which help pacify the "follow the rules" side of me, but then I fell so hard for her that the rules wouldn't have mattered anyway.  Formulas have their place, but they should never rule your life.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Age Differences, posted by lswote on Mar 18, 2003

:-)

[Dave H]

... in response to Age Differences, posted by Ray on Mar 18, 2003

Hi Ray,

Genius that I am, I came up with a 13.4 year old the first time. LOL I finally put on my glasses. 8o) When I first met my wife she was 2.5 years too young (using the formula). Now she is .5 years too young. In a few more years she will be too old for me. ROFLMAO! Eventually, Peter and his fiancee should be right on the mark! Seriously, it's a good tool! Especially when combined with other factors, in considering an age range in a search for a potential mate.

I agree with your post. I believe that large age differences, as well as cultural differences, should be carefully considered before marriage. I am 16.5 years older than my wife, which was a large age difference to me at the time. The person that introduced us confused her birth year with a sister and thought she was several years older...around 28 and not 26, not a big deal. Had he thought she was 18 and she was really 16, it would have been a much bigger mistake! I was considering women in their mid-30's or above for a serious relationship at the time. Then I met my wife...and the rest is history or herstory. Rules were meant to be broken. ;o))) She was more mature and had more in common with me than any woman I had ever met in the US, regardless of age. Our age difference was never an issue for her. It was for me at first, because of the culture in the US. In the Philippines I was considered young. Eventually, I decided that if it wasn't an issue for her or her family, why should I let it be one for me. Since then, it has never been a problem for us personally. I am sure that it bothers some people in the US, as I've caught a few angry looks from women. The stares could have also been for the Asian slave propaganda. Most people don't give us a second glance. I believe our relationship only bothers people who are jealous and/or fem-nazis who hate to see a middle-aged white guy so happy.

Dave H.

[Ray]

... in response to I like your formula! ;o))), posted by Dave H on Mar 18, 2003

Hi Dave,

I think you’re right when you said “our relationship only bothers people who are jealous and/or fem-nazis who hate to see a middle-aged white guy so happy”. I do think jealousy plays a big part in it. My wife and I have a routine all rehearsed for anyone who might actually say something to us in public about our relationship. We will both turn on cue, show our asses, and rip a loud fart. That should give them a pretty clear message (LOL). So far, we haven’t had to use it, but it sure works good in practice. Bring on the femi-nazis!

Under the formula, she was 1 year over the limit. Also, another rule I had was that she should be at least older than my oldest daughter, which was no problem. I do believe that as we grow older, the difference in age becomes less of a problem.

I think those who say “age doesn’t matter” are only fooling themselves. Of course it matters! But it is a private thing and it shouldn’t matter to outsiders. Those people who are obsessed with other couples’ ages are usually nothing more than shallow busy-bodies. It’s time for them to get a life IMHO.

My $.02,

Ray

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: I like your formula! ;o))), posted by Ray on Mar 18, 2003

Hey Ray,

"Sychronized farting" very tough technique to perfect, but one of the most effective against fem-nazis! ROFLMAOPIMMFP!!! So far, just seeing ol' Fester staring back and start to approach has been enough for them to turn and walk away quickly. You're right about people needing to get a life...their own! I was still a bathroom wanker when my wife was born. ROFLMAOTNTCIMMFP!!!

Dave H.

[Ray]

... in response to Nice Routine! ;o))), posted by Dave H on Mar 18, 2003

Remind me to ask you about that another time... TNTBUMFL!

Ray

[Jay]

... in response to Bathroom Wankers, posted by Ray on Mar 18, 2003

Hey Dave,

May I ask you or Ray to be so kind as to post the meanings of these abbreviations you guys use? WTF is TNTBUMFL?? LOL!

Perhaps it could be posted on "the hut". :-)

Jay

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Bathroom Wankers, posted by Jay on Mar 18, 2003

Sorry Jay, sometimes we get carried away. I would post a translation on NH, but it’s no fun over there because it lacks the challenge of trying to defeat Patrick’s cussometer. Maybe this will help:

LOL = “That was funny”

ROTFLMAO = “That was very funny!”

TNTBUMFL! = “That was very, very funny!!”

ROTFLMGDAOCUMSLTAHAICNTPIMFPBITIJSAOTGDFA = “That was very, very, very, very, funny!!!!”

See, it’s really quite simple. The key: the longer the exclamation, the funnier it was.

Got it now? Good!

SAOTFF!

Ray

[Dave H]

... in response to OOPS!, posted by Ray on Mar 18, 2003

Hi Ray,

Good point! No need for an exact translation. "Longer...the funnier!" TNTPIMMFP!!!

Dave H.

[Jay]

... in response to OOPS!, posted by Ray on Mar 18, 2003

Ahh, I get it.

ETPOOMS,
Jay ;-)

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Bathroom Wankers, posted by Jay on Mar 18, 2003

Hi Jay,

It would probably get Ray and I both banned from P-L for life! If Al Gore found out...the Internet! LOL Perhaps Ray and I should send you an answewr key. Ray is by far the master and sometimes baffles me for at first. "ROTFLMGDAOCUMSLTAHAICNTPIMFPBITIJSAOTGDFA!" was by far one of his toughest and best. Best to break it all down into the parts you know, then it is easier to fill in the blanks. Before you kick my ass, maybe we should send you a key. ;o)))

Dave H.

[Jay]

... in response to He he he..., posted by Dave H on Mar 18, 2003

Hey Dave,

I can figure out most of it, but they keep getting longer and longer. LOL! Yes, a key would be nice. :-)

Jay