Chinese Women

[Hamlet]

All,

I havent seen much on this site about Chinese women.  I recently met several through asiafriendfinders.com, and I am particularly taken with one in Chongquin.  She is 39, an accountant, and seems to have a wonderful personality (I am 48).  She also has what I call a philosophy of marriage, by which I mean she has thought out how such a relationship should function and grow.  I find this to be a very good sign of maturity and wisdom.  I am considering going to China to meet her.

I would like to hear from anyone else who has experience in China.

Hamlet

[Jeff S]

... in response to Chinese Women, posted by Hamlet on Jan 1, 2003

Tim is our resident expert on Chinese women:

http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/search/searchdisplay.php?page=asian&archive=000110&id=36339

I believe he also runs a Chinese dating discussion board. I'm married to a Japenese lady but have some experience in with Chinese language, religions, philiosophies, culture, business, etc. Any specific questions?

Are you from the Latin board?

- Jeff S.

[Hamlet]

... in response to Re: Chinese Women, posted by Jeff S on Jan 1, 2003

Jeff S,

Thank you for your post, and while I am at it thank you for some of your other very informative posts I have read on related topics.  I especially appreciated your trenchent observations about Latinas vis-a-vis Asians that you posted recently.

My romance with Latin America is over, particularly since I had a sour experience with a Cubana and a great experience with a Vietnamese, who I lost while I was dallying with the Cubana.  Also, I studied in Japan for two years in the early 90s and so I have other experience that draws me to Asia.  I would love to marry a Japanese but find them as distant from me as American women.

I enjoyed reading the post by Tim that you referred me to.

Hamlet

[GregF]

... in response to Re: Re: Chinese Women, posted by Hamlet on Jan 1, 2003

Hello Hamlet,
    Wile I have never had any kind of a serious relationship with a Chinese women, I have writen to and talked with several and have always found them to be very honest, sweet, and intellegent. I am peresently involved with a Vietnamese girl who is in my opinion the best woman on the face of the earth but would strongly recomend anyone interested in a nice asian girl to look in eather country
Greg

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Re: Chinese Women, posted by Hamlet on Jan 1, 2003

I've heard that about Japanese women - that they're distant, hard to get to know, etc. It seems a bit odd to me, since there are probably more Japanese-American inter-racial couples than any other Asian group - at least in my neighborhood. I have a friend who is a pretty successful contractor and he insists it's a white collar/blue collar thing - that Japanese women turn their noses up at him because he drives a pickup truck and that if he drove a sedan, even one that cost far less than his new, top of the line truck, they'd be much more friendly. Others on this board have said Japanese women are out for a rich guy and average guys need not apply. I don't believe that, since most of the inter-racial couples I know are with average Joes. I'm an engineer, and have always had a fairly modest lifestyle - never into name brand clothes, cars, or other visible signs of wealth.

I think the biggest part of the reason many American men find Japanese women distant is because of cultural behaviours. Japanese people in general have a habit of hiding their emotions very well. It's part of the culture to be "alone in a crowd" partly because of the very high density living in Japan - privacy is granted to others. My father-in-law, back when he had his business in Tokyo, used to eat regularly at a nice resturaunt in one of the hotels. In fact they saved a regular table for him every weekday. In the next booth was another businessman who also had a regular table. These two men sat in adjacent tables eating lunch at least three times a week for over 20 years before they spoke to each other. Snobbery? No - just granting each other their privacy - a big deal in Japanese culture.

Japanese women have a reputation as being great wives, but forget about the old notion of them being compliant and subserviant. The ones I know are smart and capable along with being loyal and trusting. I've never had any trouble approaching them, nor ever found them cold or distant, the opposite in fact - most have a warm humor, once you break through the polite privacy barrier. I guess that comes far more naturally to me than the game playing it seems to take to do well with many AW.

- Jeff S.

[Hamlet]

... in response to Japanese women, posted by Jeff S on Jan 2, 2003

Jeff,

I dont disagree with your assessment of the Japanese character, but look at the numbers, the numbers of Japanese women looking for foreign husbands on the web.

As a proportion of their population, the numbers of such women is very low, not much different from the numbers of women seeking foreign husbands from, say, France or Germany.  I think this is an indication that like other first world countries, Japanese women have no great motivation to seek love abroad as they are satisfied with their lives, their country and their growing status as women.

Having lived in Japan and in Latin America, I can say getting a date in Japan is not much easier than getting one in the US, but getting a date in Nicaragua, Costa Rica or Cuba is far, far, easier.

Hamlet