Chinese scam artist

[Ray]

... in response to Chinese scam artist, posted by Hamlet on Jan 5, 2003

I would think that if she was a “scam artist”, she would claim to be 18, not 50 (LOL!). What did she “scam” you out of or what do you think she was trying to scam someone out of by making herself older? Did she ask you for money? You said she “seduced” you and your relationship got more “heated”? What did you do, have e-mail sex???  :-)  Maybe she was just lonely.

Keep in mind that there are a lot of people out there just “playing” on the Internet and I imagine that goes for China also. I guess there is no way to even tell for sure if the person on the other end is male or female, let alone know how old they are. I would suggest making phone contact early in any relationship to help avoid wasting your time. If she seems promising, call her and the sooner the better.

From my experience with Chinese people, both inside and outside of China, I would disagree with your conclusion that they are generally dishonest. In fact, I found the Chinese to be quite the opposite, but that’s just my experience.

Ray

[Jeff S]

... in response to Chinese scam artist, posted by Hamlet on Jan 5, 2003

Certainly there are dishonest women posting their profiles on the internet, but to question the method sounds a bit like you're frustrated in your experiences. That many of the posters here and others have sucessfully used this method to fnd their soul mates should be evidence that t is not a waste of time.

I'd also take issue with your statement that Chinese are "in general dishonest and without sincerety." Admittedly there are wide cultural differences in the way Chinese conduct business that cause many westerners to slap on the dishonest label, but recognize that these are cultural. In my mny dealings with Chinese both here and in China, I've never found them to be any more or any less honest than a any other nationality. I have found, though, a totally different approach is expected and needed,

Fully one fourth of the world's women are Chinese, so I'm sure you can find plenty of gems, plenty of scammers and everything in-between. I know it sounds like a catch 22 but finding someone who's primary motive is not to find a foreign husband and move to the US is the key - unfortunately many of them do not advertise themselves. We did a n informal survey on this board a while back and it turns out that half of the couples were introduced by friends, one fourth contacted each other on-line, and one fourth met in-person while the husband was traveling to their country.

- Jeff

[greg]

... in response to Chinese scam artist, posted by Hamlet on Jan 5, 2003

reading your posts. Can you share your bad experience traveling through China? Did you find the Chinese to be in general dishonest to other Foreigners? Chinese ladies are beautiful especially their eyes lol, personally I would be frightened to travel to China. You got alot of back bone to be traveling to countries like China, Cuba, etc )

[Hamlet]

... in response to Hi Hamlet, Interesting, posted by greg on Jan 6, 2003

Thanks for your comments.  I have had a lot of business experience with first and second generation Chinese people in the past as clients in my law practice and real estate investors on the other side of business transactions.  Taken as a group they were considerably more dishonest than all other clients, and than other ethnic groups as well.  I also have (an honest) Chinese-American friend who explored business opportunities in China a few years ago and who gave up because he said the Chinese were too dishonest and they would try every possible angle to rip him off.

Regarding modern Chinese culture in general, I recommend China Wakes, The Struggle for the Soul of a Rising Power, by NY Times reporter Nicholas Kristoff.

Hamlet

[Mita]

... in response to Re: Hi Hamlet, Interesting, posted by Hamlet on Jan 6, 2003

It's a well-known fact that you have to be on your guard when shopping in Hongkong or anywhere Chinese merchants are.  They are such smooth talkers who only want to take as much money from as humanly possible.
I have also made a lot of Chinese friends in the past and found them refreshingly honest.  These are not your traditional Chinese who keep to their own kind type.  HOwever, as much as they were my good friends, they gave me the impression they would do anything to get ahead in life.  I may be wrong.

[Carr]

... in response to Chinese in Business, posted by Mita on Jan 6, 2003

Its also a well-known fact that the Chinese are the stingiest employers.

[greg]

... in response to Chinese in Business, posted by Mita on Jan 6, 2003

Chinese friends in RP? Can you please post more about your experience with the Chinese people in the Philippines? Are those Chinese Ladies interested in marriage to Foreigners, do you know if they join Filipino marriage websites? What part of the Philippines can a Guy meet Chinese Ladies? Sorry, I'm ignorant about the Chinese in RP. Thanks

[Mita]

... in response to Mita are you speaking of, posted by greg on Jan 6, 2003

I refer to some Filipino-Chinese friends, Malaysian-CHinese and Singaporean-CHinese.  One friend from Manila now lives in Canada and is married to a Bangladeshi.  She migrated to Canada years ago and met him there.   I was told by  Chinese men in Malaysia and Singapore that their women will always look to a man's economic status before even considering going out with them.  One Chinese friend told me Filipinos were too emotional, the Chinese he said were always practical so I guess the women are too.  Strangely enough, this friend was always attracted to the emotional Filipinas.
I also had a Filipina friend married to a guy from New Zealand.  This guy had Singaporean girlfriends before her.  He was so disappointed with his girlfriends and thought he would never marry.  The women always asked him to buy them things - like cars, houses, expensive tv sets.  He was a successful engineer, working in Singapore at that time.  My friend was the receptionist at his apartment building and they struck up a friendship and eventually married.  My friend got all the things the Singaporean women asked for but was never given - my friend never asked for anything.  She was more concerned about the guy's sincerity you see.

This may sound like I'm maligning Chinese women, so let me also say I have seen for a fact that Chinese women are great moms and household managers.  They have to be in order to preserve the family.  A lot of Chinese men are great gamblers and love the good life too much so it's the women who have to rein them in.
There are a lot of Chinese anywhere in the Philippines.  The more conservative ones will probably still have marriages within the Chinese community.  There are also Chinese who have been in the Philippines for generations and have completely integrated into Philippine society.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Mita are you speaking of, posted by Mita on Jan 6, 2003

I've noticed that too, while usually being great mothers and good household managers, the Chinese wives I know rule roost with an iron hand and take little input from their husbands. I prefer the Japanese technique of subtle persuasion. What's that old saying, a drop of honey will catch far more flies than a gallon of vinegar.

- Jeff S.

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to And that's exactly why I'd not be intest..., posted by Jeff S on Jan 6, 2003

Jeff

How many flies  will a  gallon  of  cider  on  the  cusp of  getting  hard  attract then  ha ha ha ?

Getting  ready  for  the  big  trip  2  weeks  away.  

Just  finished making arrangements to  meet a  girl in  Fukuoka  and she might even  drive  me  to  Nagasaki her  home  city  to  show  me the  sights.  Either  way  it will  be  a day  well  spent  with  her no  matter what actually  occurs.

90 %  of  things under control  by now  I  think.  but  man  the  amount  of  money  I  have  spent  already  and I  haven't even left  yet ha ha ha.

Any  words  of  wisdom --- drop  me a  line.

Windmill boy

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: And that's exactly why I'd not be in..., posted by Windmill Boy on Jan 7, 2003

And Kyushu probably the most fascinating of Japan's four major islands. We sometimes stay at the Seahawk hotel in Hakata (Hakata & Fukuoka are twin cities. Only the locals know where one ends and the other begins. The Seahawk has great view of the many small islands in the bay and great Chinese buffet (or as they say in Japan "viking style") lunch - but it's not cheap. Most often stay with relatives in Kokura about 45 minutes by car or bus from there. You know, the second atomic bomb was intended for Kokura but the visibility was too poor, so they overflew the city and went on to their second target - Nagasaki. It gives me the creeps sometimes when I'm drinking and partying with some of my relatives there in Kokura, especially some of the old timers - the group I took on a tour of Pearl Harbor. Anyway, Nagasaki is also a fascinating place. It was the only link that isolationist Japan had to the outside world - the only port open to foreign ships, from the first Tokugawa shogunate until the Meiji resptoration (1599 - 1860.) If you get a chance and can afford it, take one of the fast ferries to the little offshore islands and stay at a minshuku (like bed & breakfast): http://www.minshuku.co.jp/english/e-index.html Especially one with a nice onsen. Theres something about soaking in an outdoor hot springs with incredible views of nature with your sweetie..... Anyway you might find it tough to find things to eat there - southern Kyushu is pretty fish oriented.

I'll drop you an e/m

- Jeff

[Jeff S]

... in response to Hi Hamlet, Interesting, posted by greg on Jan 6, 2003

Funny Greg! Reminds me of the post by someone on the Latin board who traveled often to Colombia but felt he was lucky to get out of Tijuana with his life. Bob's right, you're a lot safer in China than most of Asia, including the PI. I can't understand how you can possibly think China and Cuba have any similarities at all except for their names beginning with the same letter, and a philosophical label tacked on by the press. The truth is whatever the leaders in Beijing are calling themselves these days, the method of government in China has changed little in thousands of years

- Jeff

[Bob S]

... in response to Hi Hamlet, Interesting, posted by greg on Jan 6, 2003

Hardly.  China is one of the safest countries of the Far East to travel in (not counting bad water and food poisoning).  No bloody savage fundamentalist extremists blowing up the center of cities or kidnapping for fun and profit.  Even in mainland China, it seemed bilingual shop clerks were far more common than even in Tokyo.  After Japan, I wouldn't mind at all to set up residence in Hong Kong.  It is wonderfully bilingual, prosperous, and overflowing with pretty Chinese and Filipina women! ;-)