Out of my almost 6 months of marrage, I have spent a total of about 6 weeks of it with my husband. Of that 6 weeks, I would say that we have actually lived together about  a total of 3 weeks. Of that 3 weeks everyday he was at his brothers house.

I know I posted a while back, and most of you knew what was going on , and I got pissed at your answers. I did make excuses, only because I did not want to appear ignorant.

They decided that Thai was going to go to school.( They did not include me in this) They came to me about it. I had my doubts. But they told me not to worry, that he would go in the future. It would be quite a ways down the road. We would save money and build the relationship. The next thing I knew Thai was leaving in about a week. I told them , "No way!!" There were things we needed to take into concideration. He still had not had his finger print appointment. We would be getting a letter any day for that. But they said I had not gotten it yet, right? Right I said. I reminded Thai that my rent had increased. I had just paid for Jessica's cheerleading, and had gotten her violin. Also, the wedding reception took a chunk of it. Remember that Thai was working at this time. So, I figured, I could spend the money and quickly replace it in the savings. I knew if he stopped working and something happened to my car or I got sick  I would be in serious trouble financially. I told him this, I explained it over and over to all of them. He left anyway, with the reassurance his family would be here for me if I needed anything.

A few days after he left, I got the letter for the finger printing. I called his brother. Of course he thought I was just trying to get him to come back here. So I had to take the letter to him. They flew him back, he stayed 4 days, most of it at his brothers house.

His family did not contact me once while he was gone. We went from his sister regularly sending me a small dish on sundays, to nothing. No phone calls nada. The only time we did talk was when I would call them because I had not heard from Thai in a while, then suddenly I would get a call from them. They would not give me the #, They would always take care of it.

When Thai returned home, he went from the airport to his brothers house. He did not call or let me know he was in town. He stayed there for 3 hours before he came to see me. Do you love and miss your wife?? You know that she hurt her elbow and could not work for 2 weeks, struggling to make ends meet. But yet you go to your bothers and visit for 3 freaking hours before you even go to your wife?? I mean, you would have to be a total freakin' idiot to beleive that. If you loved her, no matter what culture you are from, she is the first person you would go to, right?

I showed him my bills. How I was late on everything. He just showed no emotion. He did not even ask how I got my car fixed ($200). Or how Jessi and Emma were. He just talked about School and his work, that he would not work right away, he would go for further training. I told him he needed to get at least a part time job, doing something. We need to pay these bills. No answer, never an answer.

It's been 24 hours since he left. Even if I took Tim's advice, Thai would have to make the first move. I just don't see that happening. I just don't see it.

We have not had our aos interview yet. So I really don't know what to do. I am afraid if I don't report this to the INS, i might get into trouble. I can not get a divorce, I don't have the money and probably won't for some time. I did check into working at the blockbuster part time , so maybe that will be ok. I think I might have to have surgery on my elbow eventually.

I sam not going to look for love again. And I am not just saying that. I told myself this was my last effort. I'm done. Besides there is something to be said for being alone. I think I might have become a bit anti-social during this whole thing. I don't know if I like people anymore. What's the use, you give your time, you hang your heart out there and what do you have when they get bored. I'm not just talking about men, I'm also refuring to basic friendships. I don't  have a best friend. I don't have anyone to go to the movies with, or things like that. So when you go to a theater and you see that woman sitting by herself, well, that's probably me. I'll live my life through the movies and have my laughs there, my cries there, and my fears there. Because there is no way in He11 I'll ever trust anyone again enough to even have a cup of mojo with. I'm tired. This is not the short term tired you get over with. This is the lifetime wearyness that lingers in your soul and suffocates you till you can not breathe without the memories flooding into your life again.
kids, work, save, travel, that's my plans for the future.

I don't think you understand me. This was my LAST effort to find a mate. I knew that going in to it. I am not saying I'll NEVEr find love. I know if it happens it will be after the girls are gone. Even if love flew in my face and gave me a boody nose, I would fight it to the death. Remember I plan to be that person who goes to the theater by themselves and has the big L tattooed on her forhead that everyone can see but her. That's who I want to befor a long while. There are books I want to read. I want to learn how to read that shakspere guy. I want to travel and I NEED to be alone.

I am really happy for you. You turned yourself around and got back on the boat. But you probably didn't have anyone to think about but yourself. So if there are any reprocussions from it, it will only affect you. I've just got to concentrate one my girls and show them I am strong. I want to teach them that you have to really be able to make yourself happy and not rely on the affections of men to do that for you. It took me along time to realize that.

I know for a fact I will not seek anyone from overseas again. It's just not in me. I would not be able to get past the trust issue.

Well, don't say you can't afford a divorce.  In your circumstances, I beleive that you are entitled to public legal assistance.  You deserve it a hell of alot more then the women that use this to screw their husbands over because they want to trade-up husbands.  I've heard so many tales of women dumping men for reasons the polar opposite of yours, getting public assistance, and gaining from it while crucifying their (ex)husbands.  Miscarriage of justice in those cases.  In your case, you need public assistance.  And absolutely there should be no way that the law should construe you of being guilty in the participation of marriage fraud.  For that to happen, it would truly be a travesty of justice.

I think that by now you realize what the truth is.  It is ugly.  It's time to be strong and deal with the facts.  Seek public legal assistance.  I'm sure you're entitled to it and deserve it.  Sue everyone (Thai's extended[?] family) responsible for this deceptive conspiracy.  They knew what they were doing, and this was a well thought out, premeditated act.  They pretended to be your friends when they were really your enemies.  You said the family has a business.  Well, if justice is to be delivered, they should be forced to sell it or liquidate the assets, and the proceeds ought to be awarded to you so that you can get back on your feet.

Good luck.  Remember, as cruel as the world may get, there is one or more beacons of hope to be found that may someday lead to comfort.  God bless you.

- Kevin

- Kevin

- Kevin