venting

[Ray]

... in response to Thanks and help!!, posted by capt david on Sep 2, 2002

The Cebu consulate is on Gorordo Ave. in the PCI Bank Bldg.

Free visa info:
http://usembassy.state.gov/posts/rp1/wwwh3204.html
http://www.ins.usdoj.gov/graphics/index.htm
INS: 1-800-375-5283

[Tim]

... in response to venting, posted by kevin on Sep 7, 2002

Ladies and Gentlemen:

If you would like to engage in constructive discussion about China and the option to find a husband/wife from that country, I would invite you to apply to join the discussion group for China-USA-Couples. You can find the weblink for it by clicking on my name in this message; it's listed in my profile. There are over 300 members in the group, with backgrounds from the mainland, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and various western countries. We discuss the pluses and minuses of our relationships, without sugarcoating anything.

You will find very little accurate or constructive information about China on this board.

Regards, Tim

[Jay]

... in response to Constructive Discussion about the Chine..., posted by Tim on Sep 2, 2002

Hi Tim,

My observation's below on China and Chinese people were of course very broadbrushed. I knew you might take exeption. Of, course with the Mainland being as big as it is, it is very diverse. As are the peoples. Best to go to a site like yours to get a more accurate picture. No offense intended, though I'm sure some was taken. My deepest apologies.

Jay

[The Walker]

... in response to Constructive Discussion about the Chine..., posted by Tim on Sep 2, 2002


...or other sites the Chinese government considers "subversive".

http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/internet/09/02/china.google.reut/index.html

The Chinese people, one on one, are really nice folk. The ones I have met in their homeland were all polite, sweet, friendly and charitable. But their government is still one of the most surpressive on the planet.

By all means, try for a Chinese wife. They are, as Wendy proves, patient, intelligent, beautiful and superior spousal material. Just don't think about settling in China.

Don

[Ray]

... in response to But if you're visiting China, don't coun..., posted by The Walker on Sep 2, 2002

I never thought of Google as subversive. The Chinese government must be going crazy trying to control Interent access, since it has become so necessary to business operations.

Last year, I remember when I was communicating via e-mail with a fellow engineer in China regarding a joint project that we were working on, I found it strange that he kept asking for URL's to technical sites to look up engineering data on parts lists that I had provided. Now it makes more sense, if he was possibly limited in the search engines that he had available to him (?).

I’ve never traveled to mainland China, but I’ve spent some time in Taiwan and did lots of R&R stops in Hong Kong. I got to know some Chinese families when I was living in the Philippines and I have some Chinese neighbors here in San Diego. Overall, I have also found Chinese people to be very friendly, hospitable,  and extremely polite. In Hong Kong however, people were a little less friendly toward strangers (or maybe it was just sailors-LOL).

I have also known several shipmates that married Taiwanese ladies and their relationships seemed just as strong as those who were married to Filipinas or Japanese.

Ray

[Jeff S]

... in response to Interesting article..., posted by Ray on Sep 2, 2002

.. but you're probably right, it may have been sailors. They often don't have the best reputations in foreign ports. (My wife grew up on the Yokouska side of Yokohama.)

- Jeff S.

[Ray]

... in response to Don't take this the wrong way, Ray..., posted by Jeff S on Sep 3, 2002

Hi Jeff,

Yeah, sailors do have a “unique” reputation around the world I guess. Yokosuka did get a little wild now and then, but the hard partying was pretty much confined to the “Honcho” and a small area on the waterfront. That’s where a lot of sailors did some heavy drinking and “unwound” after time at sea. Of course there were always the few who couldn’t maintain control and made total arses of themselves, but overall the guys were pretty well-behaved. There was the occasional bar room brawl, usually between the sailors and Marines, just for the sake of tradition, but the shore patrol kept a pretty tight reign on things and wouldn’t hesitate to haul you in if you were even close to any rowdy action. In most theatres, the Navy went out of their way to maintain some very nice clubs and recreation facilities on base to sort of encourage the troops to stay out of town as much as possible.

Once you got away from the immediate base area, it was extremely rare for sailors to get into any serious trouble in Japan. The guys were usually well behaved and the Navy provided at least a basic crash course in intercultural relations before arrival in a foreign port. A lot of the guys liked to get out of town and do some shopping, sight seeing, and take a lot of pictures. Since we were in civilian clothes, I don’t know how obvious we were to the average local citizen, but the Japanese people were generally friendly toward us, probably more so the farther away we were from the base.

So, what was your wife’s impression of the U.S. sailors when she was growing up? Did her mom teach her to run as fast as she could when she saw a sailor approaching? (LOL)

Ray

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Don't take this the wrong way, Ray....., posted by Ray on Sep 3, 2002

Yep! LOL!

In truth, my wife's sister married a sailor. At first, he wasn't allowed to come to their house while it was light outside. The parents were embarrassed that their daughter was hooked up with a gaigin, especially a gunjin (military person) but they eventually accepted him. After being discharged, then moved to Japan and worked in papa-san's business. He was (and still is) a hard drinkin' hard partyin' crazy man. They had two kids together and after a number of years of conflict, they got divorced. I don't blame him, though, I doubt I could last very long with my sister-in-law - and I sure wouldn't have wanted to work for my father-in-law in Japan (though he offered me to go into his grain trading business, but I passes). My ex brother-in-law works as a merchant marine now, only sailing long enough to pay for about 6 months of partying in Phuket Thailand at a time, then back on a ship.

The kicker was, than since my wife's sister rejected her omiai, (arranged marriage) and married a gaigin, it fell to my wife, the younger sister, to carry out the obligation. She was married about a year, got pregnent, then after moving home to her parents for the later months of the pregnancy (a Japanese tradition) decided she didn't want to go back. They divorced as well. By the time I arrived on the scene, 8 years later, the folks were pretty much used to the idea of a gaigin. It was the 80s by then, so attitudes were changing substantially. I equate the 80s in Japan with the 60s here in the US - a time of change.

Anyway, sailors and marines in Japan are usually easy to spot, but you're right, most are polite and well behaved away from the ports. Anywhere in Japan, people like to practice their English, so round-eyes usually have no trouble getting into conversations with strangers - much more easily than Japanese to each other - believe it or not.

-- Jeff S.

[Tim]

... in response to But if you're visiting China, don't coun..., posted by The Walker on Sep 2, 2002

We do have a few Americans in the CUC group who have settled in China with their wives. They have reported it is a different environment, but they are not experiencing abject poverty or extreme hardship. They do state that a good amount of adapting is required, so it's obvious that settling there will not work for everyone.

Chinese PEOPLE are just like people everywhere, as you pointed out. Few are responsible for their government's actions, as anyone with a bit of common sense should realize.

Many Americans, like me, have had wonderful success with a Chinese spouse. However, I will be the first person to state that a Chinese wife is not a Magic Bullet for all of life's ills, or the elixir to cure a string of failed relationships. No man or woman from anywhere can be this.

I think it is wrong to compare people from different countries. It's especially degrading to the women when western men engage in debates over which country produces the better wives. A motivating factor I had for starting this thread was to attempt to defuse that type of discussion.    

Regards, Tim

[The Walker]

... in response to Re: But if you're visiting China, don't ..., posted by Tim on Sep 2, 2002


Oh, I agree. I am very widely traveled, and I have found that when you get most people in one-on-one social situations, we're all pretty much alike. Regional differences, religious differences, but for the most part people are people. It takes a government to foul things up.

The Chinese I have known singly were for the most part really decent folk. As were the Arabs I have known, the Latinos I have known, the Germans, the Dutch, even the French I have known (exception of about 20% of Parisians). If you meet them in a family situation people are pretty much universally hospitable.

There are differences, else we would not be looking towards Asia for wives, but they don't disguise that 90% of people in foreign lands are pretty decent folk if you give them a chance to be. We all get chewed out by our wives on occasion, we all want the best we can get for our kids (and we spend a lot of time worrying about them), husbands everywhere neglect to put the lid down to their women's disgust (in societies where they have toilet seats). Women almost universally love flowers and sweets and jewelry as gifts. Most people pull together when someone in the village/area has a really bad time and help as much as they can. Most women think their feet are ugly, while men as a rule could care less about women's feet (there are exceptions). Most men below 70 spend a lot of time thinking about sex, and quite a few over 70 do, too. Women like to play with their hair and are never satisfied with it. Men like to scratch their butts. A lot of stuff is darn near universal.

But there are a lot of misconceptions out there, too. American men think Asian women are all submissive/shy, have six tongues and walk three paces behind their man. Foreign women think most American men are wealthy.

With a few exceptions, the more you travel the more you will come to like the average human family, and the less you will like governments. I always encourage everyone to travel. It is the best educational tool there is. You don't even understand your own country until you have seen a few others first hand. I have been places that made me realize how good we have it here in the USA, and places that have a few ideas I wish we'd try (Ireland's schools are wonderful overall).

As for Chinese women as mates I leave the floor to you, Tim, our resident expert, and those on his forum who have the experience. As I said there ARE cultural and other differences. But face it, if everything was the same everywhere, it would be a pretty boring world.

Don

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: But if you're visiting China, don't ..., posted by Tim on Sep 2, 2002

.. comparing people from different countries as potential wife material is both ignorant and wrong. There are plenty of sweet, lovely ladies in every country as are there real b!itches. No woman from any country can be a cure for an inability to hold up your own end of a relationship. Sure, maybe there are some out there weak willed enough to tolerate a controlling, selfish jerk, and it's possible that heavily Catholic countries where divorce is viewed as being a sin, may produce more of those. I see how some of the husbands of my mostly Mexican employees treat their wives, yet it doesn't even occur to them to leave or look for something better.

As has been said many times on this board, and I believe is worth yet another iteration: The first place to start looking for a potential wife is in the mirror. Where you look after that is just a matter of personal taste.

-- Jeff S.

[The Walker]

... in response to Constructive Discussion about the Chine..., posted by Tim on Sep 2, 2002


Thanks for posting that. I agree, litle if anything valid is said about China here. China is so large and so diverse among its population that trying to pigeonhole it is impossible. Best to get the water from the spring than the trough.

Don

[Stephen]

... in response to Constructive Discussion about the Chine..., posted by Tim on Sep 2, 2002

Yes, I agree.

Very little is said about China on this board.  It only makes sense that if they are interested in China they could get soooooo much more accurate information on your link.

I'm glad you come by regularly.  You have many good ideas to share.

Best wishes.

Stephen

[Surigao Ken]

... in response to venting, posted by kevin on Sep 7, 2002


Hey guys!

This last week I have been comming home to a plate of rice drying on the porch. I thought at first my wife was feeding the birds, but she informed me that she was going to make something.
Well, the other day I came home and she had a pan with oil cooking the rice. She then gave me some of the ? with sugar and milk.

Can anyone guess what she made?

I tell everyone in my next post.

Take care,
Surigao Ken

[Surigao Ken]

... in response to Can you guess?, posted by Surigao Ken on Sep 2, 2002

Tada!

Yes, my wife made Rice Crispies or Ampao. I've told everyone in my fanily as well as friends and work mates and they were all amazed. I guess we all take for granted that everything seems to come from cans or boxes nowadays.
For all you winners you get to try it at home if you haven't already.
Take care,
Surigao Ken