venting

[donb2222]

... in response to Re: Most Filipinas want children....mine..., posted by Tim on Aug 30, 2002

Hi Tim,
  Glad to see you are still lurking about :0)
Yes, I will share more details later.  
Early congratulations on your anniversary.

Take Care,

Don

[Bear]

... in response to Most Filipinas want children....mine doe..., posted by donb2222 on Aug 29, 2002

you didn't want to come to Alabama?

Sorry dude!!

Bear

[donb2222]

... in response to Thats why..., posted by Bear on Aug 29, 2002

l

[greg]

... in response to My story the end, for now., posted by capt david on Aug 29, 2002

Just becuz she was good to You in her country, doesn't mean that she would be the same in America. Whats the Rush? Oh well, maybe You got Lucky and Hit pay dirt...Good Luck. Mr Peabody

[Dave H]

... in response to My story the end, for now., posted by capt david on Aug 29, 2002

Somehow it just all works out...

Dave & Marife H.

[capt david]

... in response to venting, posted by kevin on Sep 7, 2002

My story part four.
  I woke up and the pain was gone. I was wheeled to my private room w/AC for $29.50 and Era and both doctors were there. It was about 10pm and they said they would see me in the morning. Era and her aunt stayed the night.
The next morning I was told that I had a "double beat" and should see a doctor when I returned to Texas. My condition was probably caused by stress, but I should have it checked. I was planning on a physical when I returned anyway. The whole thing in Cebu cost about $800. My US physical cost more and everything was OK except I need to loose weight. My mother tells me that for free!! I had to return to the doctor in three days, therefore I remained in Cebu until my return home.
  By this time, I was ready to go home. I had been gone for eighteen days and ready for some privacy. I was tired. I was also a little worried about my heart. I will admit that I was getting a little tired of being around Era. I remained with Era for the rest of my trip. At this time, in retrospect, I began to appreciate what a great person that Era is. Not only did she stand beside me, she also doctored me. Remember it was a very delicate place. When we went to the airport, nothing had been decided. In fact, we hadn't really talked much about our future.  As we parted, I began to feel that we might never see each other again. I was sad; don't get me wrong I felt strongly for her. My love was like a glowing ember, but not a hot flame. My first and only marriage was entered to in passion. It lasted eighteen months. I believe that the love that I have for Era is the kind that will last forever, but this decision was in the future.   To be continued?

[Jimbo]

... in response to My story part four., posted by capt david on Aug 28, 2002

Captain,

That's good stuff from Ray and Matt.  I was getting that same "joined at the hip" feeling in the RP.  At the dive resort I could get away when diving and it was nice but Sally didn't understand it: "Why you want to go away and leave me alone?"  She came out on the boat a couple of times just to watch and see what it was all about, and to be with me (but when I'm underwater the Filipino boat men are eager to entertain her, although they did teach her to snorkle )).  Even at home in the US, I'll tell her I'm going hiking for a few hours in the woods and she'll say "By yourself?"  I have to be careful to explain to her that when I want to be alone it's not because of something she did.

For those of us who did the first couple of trips to Hongkong to meet an OCW Filipina, the problem was the opposite; they work so much you spend a lot of time sightseeing by yourself and have to negotiate with the employer in order to get time together.  We were lucky, she had an understanding Chinese lady for an employer.  But we had to spend time socializing with them also.
Jim

[Stephen]

... in response to Great advice!, posted by Jimbo on Aug 29, 2002

I agree, Jim.

I have a different situation with Tess.  When she got to the States I took her down to see my office.  It went well, so I took here again.  Well....it went so well that TEss has gone with me everyday except 4 days since November, 2000.  That means we spend nearly all our time together.

A couple of weeks ago I told her I was going back to the office to do some stuff.  She asked "why" and I said, "I just need to be alone by myself".  Well, she didn't understand that.

(Several times a week I will go back to the office and work a few hours by myself.)

Stephen

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Great advice!, posted by Stephen on Aug 30, 2002

I'll bet she thought you were tampo-ing, right?

- Jeff

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Re: Great advice!, posted by Jeff S on Aug 30, 2002

Jeff:

Hey, she seriously didn't like my statement.  I told her that she misinterpreted what I had said.  I really said "I just need to be alone....WITH YOU!"

How's that for a fast recovery.

Stephen

Hey Jimbo....better remember that line..."I just need to be alone...WITH YOU!"

[Jimbo]

... in response to Great advice!, posted by Stephen on Aug 30, 2002

Well, after 3 years of marriage she understands much better now.  I can go hiking and she doesn't tampo.  But she's not 100% trusting either - in the back of her mind she wonders, just a tiny bit, if I'm going to see another woman!

She's also found out from talking to other Filipinas that she's not the only one who wonders why her husband spends so much time on the computer (he might be talking to another woman).  But veteran US Filipinas have told her that it's normal for an American husband: "It's only their happiness."  I think that means we are just having fun :-)

Jim

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Great advice!, posted by Jimbo on Aug 30, 2002

Yeah....I know exactly what you mean.

Tess is always very calm.  We've never had a big fight.  She an easy-going companion.

But I think she knows what's in every drawer and shelf of the apartment.  And I'm certain she's been through every file and desk at the office.  But she'd never own up to it.

Yeah...I know what you mean.

Stpehen

[Ray]

... in response to My story part four., posted by capt david on Aug 28, 2002

You also made a good point there capt, about being tired and ready for some privacy after 18 days. It’s wonderful to have the constant attention of a young lady, but it can become suffocating after a while, especially for an older guy who has been living alone for so long. The ladies mean well and can be very protective of you while you are there, but they just don’t have quite the same concept of privacy over there that we are accustomed to here at home.

I’ve heard many stories where the lady will stay with their guest 24 hours a day during their visit. Sometimes that will be necessary if you visit the family on a remote island or something for a few days. But having a bunch of giggling girls bouncing around your hotel room all night playing with the T.V., after following them around the malls all day, could get a little tiring, and frustrating of course if you are not boinking them :-)

For the guys planning their first trip, I would recommend that they try to leave some time for themselves also, if only to be able to relax, go for a walk, fart, burp, take a smelly dump, or just do some quiet thinking alone. We get readers asking about finding a hotel as close as possible to their lady’s home. But Matt made a good point also. Transportation is cheap and handy and she can get from your hotel to home with little trouble. Hell, for a buck you can put her in a cab at night and send her home. In the morning when you’re both rested up, she can jump in a jeepney and pick you up at the hotel for another round of mall-hopping (LOL).

You may just want to take a shower alone, with the TV OFF and the air-con on max. Or you may want to go downstairs to the bikini bar for a few cold beers at midnight, or walk around the corner to the cyber café to catch up on your e-mail. So, don’t worry about finding the hotel that is closest to where your honey is staying, and don’t commit to hosting a horde of giggling girls every night in your hotel room or you may start to go crazy after a while (at least I would).

Just some thoughts…

Ray

[Jimbo]

... in response to Great story!, posted by Ray on Aug 28, 2002

There are some things a husband and wife should not share, like a smelly dump.  I close the door but my wife doesn't... is she trying to share this with me too??!

Jim

[shadow]

... in response to Great story!, posted by Ray on Aug 28, 2002

Good, sound advice.

This is one of the little quirks of culture I was seeking. Filipinos are not accustomed to privacy, so they don't realize Americans may be different. Often they do tend to smother.

Larry.