venting

[Howard]

... in response to Confused?, posted by Bear on Sep 7, 2002

Art,

Is that what you think I am doing???  Slapping my boy Z a "high five" for putting his foot in Helen's butt?  You HAVE to know me better than that!  Do you think I am praising him for giving her some of her own medicine???  I am NOT!

I just don't see what purpose it serves to drag anyone--Helen or Zeb--through the mud when things are over and done with.  The only reason I didn't reply to Kevin's post on Helen was because everyone else was.  Frankly, knowing the kind of compassionate person you can be first hand, I was astonished at the venom that I saw in your post that started this never ending thread.

Things happen.  Good people get hurt.  But no one should be beyond forgiveness. Agreed?

Keep the Faith

H

[kevin]

... in response to Confused?, posted by Bear on Sep 7, 2002


think that they were made up and very well crafted stories to cleanse her hands.  Bear, I'm not a stupid man.  Sometimes I think you're too naive, ignorant and gullible.  This is my feminine aspect (perhaps my turnoff to desireable females) speaking.  What I beleive to be my sense of intuition.  It can't be denied that Helen was and is a very smart woman.  I know she is.  She abuses her intellect and intelligence at others' expense.  She's got you suckered.  Well you'd better wake up and smell the coffee.  My gut feeling also says that there are some stateside pinoys whom you might think are your friends, but behind your back they're trying to hurt you royally.

You're easily misled.  Mark my words.  Helen sold you a line of BS in order to make herself look innocent.  But if you think you're on her good side, I could guarentee you, if it were possible and she could do it, she and her potential false witnesses would crucify and hang you in the divorce courtroom.  I don't mean to sound harsh.  But I beleive this is true.  I sincerely hope and pray that Honey is truly a sincere, loving, and caring woman, and in her heart, intends to spend the rest of her life with you and beyond.  A part of you is growing inside of her, hopefully because of nothing but the love you supposedly share with each other.

I'll emphasize it again.  Helen tried to capitalize on the image of a sweet, "innocent", sexy Filipina in order to get away with her wrongdoing.  She tried to make Zebson look like the rotten ogre.  And you fell for it.  I persnally think that Helen f****d with Zebson's head.  I may be wrong, but when a man loves a woman and she feels otherwise, she can really do a tune on him and destroy him spiritually.  And I'll say this again too.  If Zebson was such a jerk, and Helen was an innocent gal, she would have kept her pride and dignity, and simply moved on with her life.  She would not premeditate revenge through something like f*****g with immigration laws to the United States.  But it's exactly what she did.  Revenge or mastermind manipulation?  She was trying to set Zebson up just like Susdanna Blackwell was trying to set up Timothy Blackwell.  Fortunately Zebson got out of this thing with his dignity and welfare intact.  Timothy Blackwell didn't.

- Kevin

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: DUDE!??, posted by Bear on Sep 7, 2002

Bear:

Uhhhhh how about Honey's greedy parents.  After all, they're just acting out of poverty and the fear of being caught in it.  So you can't really blame them for trying to con you out of every dime you have.  Bless their hearts!  What would you do in the same situation?

Perhaps your actions are much more dispicable.   Perhaps you and Honey are being selfish to the point of completely "not caring" about anyone but yourselves - couldn't care less who you hurt as long as he stayed in control of your fears.

What do you think about that argument?  Do you think you and Honey need psychiatric help?

I think this makes as much sense as your post condemning Zebson and acquiting Helen.

If you can't condemn Helen's actions because she acted out of fear of poverty then you can't condemn any woman who is a fraudulent, deceitful gold digger.

I can't fault Zeb for being shrewd enough to know what was going on and acting in his own behalf.

This issue was buried several months ago...we should let it rest.  It's not appropriate to have an "autopsy" performed here.

I'm really quite surprised at you and Honey on this one.

Stephen

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Re: DUDE!??, posted by Stephen on Sep 7, 2002

Our situation and Helens are too different to compare.  Helen's mistake was to sleep around till she found someone to love her.  Zebson tried to control someone from a sense of paranoia, lashing out unforgivably at any perceived hurt that came his way with out fully checking it out.  Honey defend me from someone trying to take advantage of her husband (we still send them some money to help every month but they didn't retire off of my generosity).  How do you comepare that?  Zebson needs help for his paranoia and reclusiveness.  Zeb, how many times was it you just jumped out of a cab and start walking away?

Second, I am not defending Helen completely.  I said I wouldn't have wanted her either.  I said I understand her motives and beleive she did love Zebson or she would not have put up with such bull.  She did not need money, she was then and at the last time I saw her doing very well.  Why would she need to marry him for money or a green card if she had a scholarship for a Masters in England?

Lastly, I do not condemn Zebson for sending her home - I would have too, just not the way he did it.  But then she was stupid enuff to let it happen because he had been cruel to her many times before.  Yeah, we should all let the subject die but but I don't think it should be in "awe" for his techniques or methods as I have seen posted in the last few days.  Thats what tic'd me off.

Bear and Honey

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: DUDE!??, posted by Bear on Sep 7, 2002

How was she making her money?  An educated woman (whether true or not)!  In the hotel industry.  Be open minded.  She made her money by spreading her legs.

- Kevin

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: DUDE!??, posted by kevin on Sep 8, 2002

Well, perhaps you could call using men to get out of the philippines a form of prostitution.

But you see, Kevin, she was just afraid of poverty and being trapped by it.  Yeah, you'd have done the same thing wouldn't you.

LOL

Stephen

[kevin]

... in response to Yeah, but....., posted by Stephen on Sep 8, 2002


I could vehemently seduce attractive married women.  It sure as hell beats celibacy if I can get away with it.

- Kevin

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: DUDE!??, posted by Bear on Sep 7, 2002

Does raising this stink on the board make you and Honey more righteous?

Actually, it makes the two of you look like busy-bodies, gossips, and trouble makers.  

Stephen

[Bear]

... in response to DUDE!??, posted by Stephen on Sep 7, 2002

I guess I'll just have to be a martyr then.

bear and Honey

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: DUDE!??, posted by Bear on Sep 7, 2002

Art,

We've yet to hear all of the gory details from Zebson, but we have certainly heard Helen's...who you yourself, have admitted can't be trusted. I thought that Zebson acted in a dignified manner throughout his posts on P-L on the matter. Much of the information was coaxed out of him by us on P-L. Only they and God know the true story.

Is Helen really an "innocent?" Then who caused the problems between Helen and Honey?

Poverty is just another lousy excuse to justify one's actions in my opinion. Prisons are full of people who use it. After making excuses my entire life, I no longer have respect for those that do. "What would you do in the same situation?" Well, I haven't been in the same situation, but I've had problems in my life before. After my marriage broke up, I was left many times without a peso. My kids, half of my retirement, my house, and vehicle were taken from me. I often missed meals and some days I didn't eat...not even rice. I didn't have a permanent place to stay for a few weeks. I rode a bicycle to work that I found in the friggin' trash. I told everyone that it was for exercise. I even slept in an empty drainage pipe a few nights. Eventually I moved in with a friend, when he discovered my plight. I dumpster dove to furnish the room. I dated a female dentist for a short while (my decision not to continue) who bragged that she made over $200,000 a year. But I never asked her to repair the broken teeth in my mouth, even when she offered to do so for free with gold crowns. I dated a scuba dive shop owner, but never took a penny. She drove a new Corvette and Expedition, but I refused her offer to borrow one of her cars or live in her 5 bedroom house. I guess I have a little self-respect and dignity. I never broke any laws that I know of. I never used or hurt others that I know of. I pulled myself up out of that ditch, worked several jobs, paid the ex's price and she gave me back the house and custody of my sons. I lost over $100,000, but I am now far happier and wealthier than I have ever been in my entire life.

Dave H.

[Zebson]

... in response to In praise of Zebson..., posted by Dave H on Sep 7, 2002

Dave, this is the second time I have read this post, and both yours and Jays are very inspirational in your tenacity to move on in life despite the odds. I really think you might consider writing a book or something, man I can only imagine all the different thoughts and feelings you must have went through that you didn't even elaborate on as you experienced all this stuff. Anyay, it makes for very interesting reading and I appreciated your relating it.

Zeb

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: In praise of Zebson..., posted by Zebson on Sep 9, 2002

Hey Zeb,

I never counted myself down and out, even when I didn't have a pot to piss in. I was fortunate that I had a very good job. But, most of my income was going someplace else for while, to maintain the ex's lifestyle. You can imagine how much I enjoyed pay raises. I always had a place that I could stay, I was just too proud and embarrassed to ask. I lived for a time in my office at the fire station. I got up very early so that no one would know it. They only found out when I caught them breaking in one night to steal the answers to some tests. One of my friends was living in his red 1953 pickup behind the fire station. ) I eventually moved in with one of my best friends when his roomate moved out. I can't say that there weren't many dark hours, but my love for my kids got me through. The hardest part was being separated from them...the rest was easy. Like my grandmother used to say when I was a kid..."Just pretend you're camping."

Dave H.

[Bear]

... in response to In praise of Zebson..., posted by Dave H on Sep 7, 2002

Dave, not all the "innocents" have been mentioned - have they Zebson.

Bear and Honey

[Zebson]

... in response to Re: DUDE!??, posted by Bear on Sep 7, 2002

Come on Bear, And I find it rather miscaluated and one sided that you would make the assessment that somehow, your statement of, "Poverty and the fear of being caught in it. What would you do in the same situation?" Would somehow justify a persons need for lies and or deception in a relationship.

I have never directed anger towards you, in making assesments like what you did with the statement: "He needs psychiatric help." That's way over the top. You may have been a priest, counselor or whatever before, but now your showing some real charm in a put down that comes from assumptions of information you have gotten as a third party to a previous relationship. If you ask me your showing your true colors now. I have made the statements about my problematic inconsitencies and errors, (sins if,if it makes you feel better) but have you completely forgot about the word "Forgiveness" apparently toward others. I thought after all that was one of the strongest motivational factors that Christians were about. And lately you don't seem to be exibiting much of it. I have let this go, and moved on in a heart of forgiveness to Helen and also toward my own inadequancies, but it seems you wont.

Zeb

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Re: DUDE!??, posted by Zebson on Sep 7, 2002


I'd hate to make it rain on his parade.  (Circumstancially) Marissa could very well protractedly be pulling the same BS with him.  He had just better pray that she is not.  Because if she is, he is in serious, serious trouble.  He's already had a taste of not only what Marissa's family is like, but also what the entire neighborhood is like.  He'd better pray that Marissa is a deviant of that despicably subversive clan (and not feigning her loyalty to Bear to gain power over him)  I'll say it again.  I hope Bear won't be irreconcibly angry with me, but I know what I say hurts hard.  Bear has a good heart.  The people of the Philippines he's interacted with have used and abused his kindness to them big time whatsoever with absolutely no sense of remorse whatsoever.  I personally think Bear is too trusting.  What Marissa's relatives tried to do to him, after his kindness to them, is just absolutely despicable.  But Marissa doesn't have to be like them.  Perhaps she did land a man whom she really truly loves.  Time will show.  Actions speak louder than words.  I know Bear will love Marissa forever.

- Kevin