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Author Topic: Are we a dysfunctional family?  (Read 13352 times)
shadow
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« on: August 24, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

Earlier this week, I asked for some simple suggestions from the board. I wanted some constructive input regarding cultural differences, as well as recommendations for newbies who maybe wanted to try what many of us have already done, but who didn't want to rely on a "tour, etc", and who didn't feel comfortable with jumping on a plane and going "blind".

 The only direct response I recieved was a possible willful misinterpretation of an irrelevant derogatory comment made on my part about an inconsequential third party.  (My mistake)  This resulted in a near imminent bloody dogfight regarding an alleged entertaining catfight.  (Did I word that so even a lawyer could understand it?)  Smiley

In the book, it is likely to become obvious to some readers that many American men living in the PI, and many who go there looking for brides, are indeed American societies rejects and outcasts. (Much like myself)  Smiley

If you take that into consideration, it is astounding that the PI is so welcoming of us at all. Is the PI so poor in human quality that even America's misfits are highly regarded? Or possibly it is only the American misfit's dollar that is highly regarded? This seems much more likely.

So in all honesty I ask you now, what drives us to be this way?

What inner forces combine to make us so unsusceptable of assistance?

Do we all have to practice to get this way? Or does it come naturally for some of you?

In Filipino culture, it is not unusual to recieve irrelevant, useless responses to direct questions, or no answer at all. Are some of these alleged cultural differences rubbing off on America's misfits?  (Please feel free to answer yes, even if the true answer is no or maybe. Just frown and make your eyebrows point down in the middle while saying yes if the true answer is no, while nodding vigorously and saying yes.)

If possibly some of these questions or comments offend or confuse you, or maybe if you feel they are as hysterically humorous as I do, then perhaps you could bring yourself to answer one of the original inquiries?

Perhaps not.

Just a thought.

Made ya think, huh?

Please respond if you understand, or need clarification. (Preferably in a constructive or humorous way)

If you don't understand some of the comments, rest assured they were not directed at you.

Nanu-Nanu.

Joe..., An American GRO in Cebu.  Smiley

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Jeff S
Guest
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Are we a dysfunctional family?, posted by shadow on Aug 24, 2002

Those of us interested in Japanese women tend to be intelligent, handsome, successful, suave, well built, and incredibly well hung - Right Bob S. and Windmill Boy?

.. And, of course it comes naturally to us, we don't have to practice. I know it's a burden, but one we just have to bear...

Jeff S.

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shadow
Guest
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to I don't know about those interested in F..., posted by Jeff S on Aug 26, 2002

I don't know how to tell you this, but if you bear it in public in the states, you are liable to wind up in prison, thereby being branded as a "misfit" or danger to society!   Smiley

Larry.

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Bob S
Guest
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to I don't know about those interested in F..., posted by Jeff S on Aug 26, 2002

The more I try to learn Kanji, the more like an illiterate child I feel.
As for well hung, well, maybe compared to what they are used to.  But let's just not go there... ( {Thank Gawd for the "White God" gaijin factor.}

BTW, why do those Japanese and Russian babes look so hot?  It really is all the walking.  In the past two and a half months I've been here sans car, I've lost about 15-20 lbs.  My XL shirts are starting to hang loose on me.  It's great!

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Windmill Boy
Guest
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to I don't know about those interested in F..., posted by Jeff S on Aug 26, 2002

Well Jeff

My  belly  is  a little well hung (over  the  belt)  from  eating  chocolates, sacher, linzer tortes, and  other  miscelleneous Scooby  Snacks  around the  pastry  Shop  all day. They  say  skinny  cooks  can't  be  trusted.

I'll  leave  the  other  attributes  up  too  any japanese  women  who  want  write me  and  I'll  let  them  decide.

Windmill Boy

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Jeff S
Guest
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: I don't know about those interested ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Aug 27, 2002

But hey, that doesn't kick you out of the club. I got one of those, too from sampling many chef's best work!

-- Jeff S.

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Dave H
Guest
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to I don't know about those interested in F..., posted by Jeff S on Aug 26, 2002

...I dated a Japanese woman once! Do I get credit and receive half of the attributes? ;o)))

Dave H.

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Jeff S
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« Reply #7 on: August 27, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to But Jeff..., posted by Dave H on Aug 26, 2002

You have to tell us which half..

- Jeff S

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Dave H
Guest
« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to OK Dave but ..., posted by Jeff S on Aug 27, 2002

...suave and de boner? Shocked)))

Dave H.

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The Walker
Guest
« Reply #9 on: August 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Are we a dysfunctional family?, posted by shadow on Aug 24, 2002

Misfits? Hmmmm. Didn't answer that one earlier. I don't think so. I am a fairly tall, in very good shape, retired military man (Special Operations). I am a mixed blood Caucasian and Native American. I didn't have any trouble finding dates in the US. I was married for 19 years. Women find me attractive (which annoys Vicky no end ;-)), and I am independent finacially.

I am intelligent and have regular features. I went to the Philippines for a wife from choice, not desperation. After being abandoned to finish raising two girls on my own, and almost being "caught" by two gold-diggers, I had had it with American women my age. I am not down on AWs in general, as my grown daughters are AW and quite nice, really. But those in acceptable age groups for me are pretty much picked over, usually two or three times. If I could have found a woman like Mrs. Mayor I would have married her on the spot, but women like her are few and far between in America. So I cast my net abroad. I looked at many military marriages with foreign-born wives and found the highest percentage of happy men were married to Filipinas. So I eventually wound up with my Vicky, to my everlasting luck, and have been quite happy since.

But neither Vicky or myself are "misfits". I am not poor and she is wealthy for a Filipina. She is close to my age, we both belong to Mensa, are both college educated, and she is quite beautiful. I did not buy her family anything, they don't need me to. Her family has more money than I do. I am a successful (so far) breeder of cattle (not meat cattle, breeding cattle).

I have seen many of the sorts of marriages you and others describe. I don't consider the men to be misfits in general. Some are overweight, so what? America is overweight. Nothing new here. The ability of Filipinas to look past someone's perceived physical shortcomings is a blessing, not an abberration. Men who are good as gold on the inside (buying motorcycles and homes, for instance) often have a heck of a time getting to even meet many American women when they have "defects". An exception is Mrs. Mayor who is a tall Texas blonde, a former beauty queen, who is deeply in love with her hubby who is shorter than she is and of average looks. Loves him like few even rich and handsome American men are ever loved.

If a Filipina is happy with her overweight or plain American husband, I am happy for her. And let no one else judge them. My former son-in-law (may he rest in peace) was not a handsome man but he was an exceptionally good man, and my daughter saw him for what he was. He was lucky (and so was she). But there are fewer and fewer like my girls or Mrs. Mayor left in America, I fear. And many Filipinas will choose a man many years their senior from cold logic. An older man is more stable, less likely to betray her, more financially secure, wiser, more experienced and better able to head a family. Why should she not trade her beauty and youth for stability and long-term happiness? Having children is for the young, you cannot avoid that biological fact. But older men make better fathers, usually. This fact has been perverted in our society. Up until modern America and western Europe, it was not uncommon for a man to wait to marry until he was able to securely provide for a family. Had a home and a job and money in the bank. Most marriages two generations ago had the wife at least ten years younger than the husband. He was in his late 20's up to early 30's, and she was 16-22. Both my granmothers were a decade younger than my grandfathers and they had solid gold marriages.

Don

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shadow
Guest
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Are we a dysfunctional family?, posted by The Walker on Aug 26, 2002

Smiley
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Nathan
Guest
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Are we a dysfunctional family?, posted by The Walker on Aug 26, 2002

Very well stated. I and the several men I know personally
who are married to Filipinas are hardly freaks, geeks or otherwise- we just did not like our options in the USA and we were broad minded enough to know we could look elsewhere.
I think the stats on this show that most men who marry overseas have above avergae income and education. This is hardly an enterprise for the timid or the flat broke.
  That said, in the Philippines I did see some visiting men who I thought were sloven jerks as well as others who were just regular decent guys.

my $.02 worth...

Nathan

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Humabdos
Guest
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Are we a dysfunctional family?, posted by shadow on Aug 24, 2002

Yep Larry it would have been better to have left out Jean the cat fighter out of that post! Lol   I would be happy to sit down and tell you what I think about it. You know my typing sucks! Come on up here some weekend and will skin a dog and fire up the barQ. I still gots me som o dat 12 year old rum!

BTW all the real outcast misfits hang out over at Maganak ROTFLMAO!!

I'll have to agree Larry with what I've seen over the last ten years 60% fall into the misfit oddball types.(and bad spellers)
Old fat weird guys, skinny weird guys, bald weird guys, hairy young weird guys, nerds, geeks, and freaks, ect...

I met this Guy from Alaska in Cebu MoalBoal  He had lips bigger than a horse. I'm not making fun of the poor guy and this is a true story. Really his lips where HUGE!! He was about 50 and went there to meet his penpal who was about 17 or 18 and very shy looking. He had bought a motorcycle for her parents along with any and everything else they wanted including a new house being built. I could see deep trouble in the little girls eyes and thought to my self this will NEVER work!!   As she walked along her head was down and her eyes where blank. Surely her parents had forced her into this.  Why would this terribly disfigured man pick a seventeen year old?  Did he think she would be happy back in Alaska in the bush? And why would this very cute filipina girl marry this old guy with lips like a horse? Was it love or money?  Who knows... Mick Jagger seems to do well with the chicks LOL

Just one of the many many I have seen.

Humabdos

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shadow
Guest
« Reply #13 on: August 29, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Are we a dysfunctional family?, posted by Humabdos on Aug 26, 2002

be a skinny black one or a white fuzzy one??  Smiley

You don't know what he could do with those lips!  Smiley

Will be over some day not too distant, will let you know.

Larry.

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Humabdos
Guest
« Reply #14 on: August 30, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Would the dog..., posted by shadow on Aug 29, 2002

I don't eat my pets Larry! lol (or yours ether)

Bring your fishing pole the steelhead are running in the Santiam River. The weekends maybe the only time I can get off though.

http://www.localfishermannews.com/n_santiam_report.htm

Bamboo

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