never say never

[Febtember]

Speaking about German I just found out after I got married to my hubby that his a a pure German but he don't know how to speak German. Both his Mom and Dad were German.His ancestor migrate here 150 years ago.I still remember before I keep telling myself and my friend that I will never marry German coz as far as I know German were strick.But my hubby and my parent's inlaw were not.They were really nice.
Then hubby and I the same he also tell somebody here before that he will never marry filipina and never visit philippines.Too hard to beleived he visit P.I twice.So never say never.
raquel weitekamp

[greg]

... in response to never say never, posted by Febtember on May 7, 2002

A Person's Race, Disabilty, Country, etc etc is Counter Productive. Some Persons even look down on those with limited English language skills....Certain Guys need to show how intelligent they are by using difficult to understand vocabulary..word after word..Most Filipinas don't understand what those Guys are talking about. If they want a Pinay, they need to learn to use basic English language....Don't make Pinays feel intimidated..

[Dave H]

... in response to FeB, correct..Generalizing and Sterotypi..., posted by greg on May 8, 2002

Hi Greg,

I have found the opposite problem...my Pinay wife knows "bigger" English words than I do. ;o))  Sometimes I'll pause when I can't think of the right word to say and ask for her help. Somehow she always knows the best words to complete my sentences. American slang and expressions are a bit of a challenge, but my she is quickly learning. She is happy that she can usually understand my Midwestern accent and the words that I use. Both having a medical background and similar education levels has been helpful for us. I am teaching her Spanish words (often the same in Bisyan or Tagalog) and she is trying to teach me Bisayan. I am a poor student. ;o))

Dave H.

[Ray]

... in response to FeB, correct..Generalizing and Sterotypi..., posted by greg on May 8, 2002

I'm not sure what you mean by "difficult to understand vocabulary" or "basic English language".

You know, I’ve seen a whole lot of guys speak a kind of “baby talk” whenever they are talking to a Filipina. I think it sounds ridiculous and insulting, as if to imply that they are too stupid to understand the English language. It actually sounds as if they were speaking to a very small child. A lot of guys don’t even consciously realize that they are doing it. I just sort of turns on and off automatically.

Speaking from experience, my advice to anyone in a relationship with a Pinay would be to try to remember to communicate verbally in a normal tone with standard vocabulary, as much as possible, just as they would with their own friends or family. If your mahal has limited English skills, she will learn much faster if you just communicate in your normal way. I have found that Filipinos generally appreciate it if you don’t “talk down” to them like a lot of us Americans “seem” to be doing from their perspective. Your lady doesn’t need to feel intimidated if you reach an understanding early on and agree to correct each other’s foreign language usage (your Tagalog/her English). You need to encourage and remind her to stop you and ASK when she doesn’t understand something you say. Try it and you’ll likely be surprised at how fast she will pick up the “standard” English that we use in our every-day lives.

How about you Greg? Do you sometimes find people “talking down” to you or treating you somewhat like a child because of your handicap? No offence meant, I’m just curious as to your experience.

How’s that little Greg doing? Is he playing football yet? The Raiders will be needing him in a few years if they are going to keep beating the Chargers (LOL!)

Ray

[Jeff S]

... in response to Language, posted by Ray on May 8, 2002

I never understand why people start talking like Tonto when they're around my wife.

-- Jeff S.

[Ray]

... in response to LOL Ray - That's so true., posted by Jeff S on May 10, 2002

Yeah, Tonto (LOL). I just find it extremely annoying when I hear someone talking like that. What does your wife think about it?

Ray

[Jay]

... in response to Language, posted by Ray on May 8, 2002

Hi Ray,

This may not be exactly on subject, but I thought I'd tell ya'll anyway. It's kind of funny.

A couple of months ago we went and adopted two cat's. My wife named them. One is called "Tiger", the other is "Pepper". Criselda walk's around the house calling the cat's saying, "here Tiger, here Paper!". She named the cat and doesn't even get the name right. LOL!

I sometimes just shake my head and yet thank my lucky star's....

Jay

[BrianN]

... in response to Re: Language, posted by Jay on May 9, 2002

pepper vs paper.

I posted a story and other cautions about this particular combination 6 months ago...

Boy did I piss her off when I gave her notebook paper when she asked for pepper.

stupid me... :-)

[NoNamePinay]

... in response to Re: Language, posted by Jay on May 9, 2002

Hi Jay,
that's me!
I'm also bad in pronunciation and my hubby is a bad speller. If my hubby is writing and can't remember the spelling of words He'd always ask me how to spell such words and if I'm uncertain on how to pronounce slang words I'd ask him and He would pronounce it to me slowly, It must have something to do with my hard Visayan accent I call him my phonics teacher and He calls me his walking dictionary actually we're learning from each other everyday )

NNP

[greg]

... in response to Language, posted by Ray on May 8, 2002

Oh well...Do I have problems communicating with Pinays? Of course not..If they don't understand..simply we write..Pinays enjoy writing. Anyway, nobody is perfect, only Jesus. Everyone has a disablity, either magnified or hidden..health problems, mental illness, etc are all disabilties. God has been good to me, not complainting. Both Chargers and Raiders have new Coaches and Players..Marty coach of Chargers should help them get into Play offs..Gregory is a good, clever pinoy..He brings Joy to my heart..his school is helping him alot. Hopefully God will bless us with a Woman soon smile. My observant is that Pinays like to be sweet talked...AWs are the ones that want You to talk normal..just like she is one of the Guys lol lol ) greg

[Febtember]

... in response to Language, posted by Ray on May 8, 2002

Ray,that's what I did if my hubby use slang english I stop him and ask what's the meaning.Everyday I learn slang from him.I feel funny when I'm still in Philippine Airport with my Hubby ready to fly here and  we call Greg's Mom and she ask me if I have cold feet.All I thought is that why she  ask me if my feet cold.So I look on my feet and feel it.Greg my hubby really  feel funny about my reaction on "cold feet".

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Language, posted by Febtember on May 8, 2002

Hey Feb,

I'm from rural Michigan, so some of my toes aren't quite as long as they used to be. ))

Dave H.

[The Mog returns]

... in response to never say never, posted by Febtember on May 7, 2002

Hehe..well...the Mog is 1/2 German. My Mother is German. I can tell you that my childhood was not always full of pleasant memories. The Germans can be the most kind and loving people in the world, but there is a side that is angry and aggressive. It has probably been engrained in our bloodlines since the Germanic tribes fought the Romans centuries ago. Luckily my Dad is British. Sometimes I feel as there is a contant battle raging in my psyche, with the aggressive German side and the passive, reserved British side trying to cope with it...hahaha...Luckiliy age tends to mellow one out as I had quite a temper in my illustrious youth. But you wont find a more fiery temper out there than that of the Irish. North Vietnamese rank up there also.

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: never say never, posted by The Mog returns on May 7, 2002

Hey Mog,

It's a good thing I stayed away from Northern Vietnamese women. ;o)) I strongly believe that much of who you are is not only from upbringing, but in the blood. You just described my grandmother (Dad's mother) to a T! 1/2 German and 1/2 Irish...WOW what a temper. Hugging you one minute...beating you the next. My grandfather's family were Orangeman (Scots-Irish) from N.Ire. Talk about conflict! My mother was 1/2 Scottish and 1/2 English. Fortunately, she favored the English in her calm, strong, reserved demeanor. My brother and I only saw her truly angry once in our lives and quickly realized it wasn't a good thing. My father was true to his roots and usually became enraged at the drop of a hat, and fought like a Protestant-Catholic battle in the streets of Northern Ireland. My mother knew how to calm him. He never crossed her or directed his anger at her. I never heard her raise her voice and never heard them argue. She always said that it took two to fight. She always accomplished her objective...that which was best for the family. My father always felt like he was the King and in charge. Fortunately, I have a long fuse, but then... Unfortunately, my ex learned how to bypass my long ignition sequence. I didn't think much about the fact that she was 1/2 Puerto Rican and 1/2 Cuban when I married her...two fiery cultures with no love for each other. Sometimes when I hear my sons arguing, the next sounds I hear are of metal striking metal...Ca-Ching...Clank. Then I run upstairs and confiscate all of their knives and swords. Hmmm...I wonder how well Filipina blood will mix with mine. It's a good thing that I'm getting old and no longer drink. Well...there's a half empty bottle of San Miguel in the ref, that has been there for two weeks. I drank 1/4 while I was boiling hotdogs in the other 1/4. That ought to bring the wrath of the San Miguel beer lovers down upon me. ;o))

Dave H.

[SteveB]

... in response to Battle of the psyche..., posted by Dave H on May 8, 2002

Dave,,,I'm really mixed up!!!!! I am about 1/4 Indian, Irish, German, French, Jewish, LOL,,,I think I got some temper from all sides...

Steveb