The more I read the more I understand that many of the people are looking for something they don't fully understand.
A lot of times I have encountered people who would come to Ukraine looking for a Ukrainian lady, preferably blond, age ..., weight, height, preferably english-speaking, preferably this and preferably that. During the process of such search, they date many women and in the end realize that they love the process much better than the idea of marriage. It's fine as long as the other party is informed about such predilection. The only thing is that when a guy like this finally meets a really nice lady he can't fall in love, he says she is no different than other women he has met previously.
People, let me ask you something what happens to a man who has met many ladies?
My observation and opinion, he starts pointing out the features, but never really looks into her heart, as long as she whispers sweet things about the depth of her feelings, which in a lot of times is equal to the depth of the wallet of our hero.
The most interesting part is this - I've met quite a few "scammer" ladies while working with my clients, and guess what - most of them I should probably say 90% are not monsters, described on many boards and sites, in fact they are real nice people. Whenever we talked about the moral side of what they do they would tell me - When I meet a man, who thinks he can buy me, I let him think he can do it and then leave him, because I`m looking for a husband, a person who would feel and understand me, be my friend. That got me thinking, what is the origin of this misunderstanding that's going on between foreign men and ukrainian women.
I realized that on my own I wouldn't be able to figure it out, so I asked for opinions and here is what I received. Many men tell me that their first (or second) trip they were trying to do what everyone does - play a little, while looking for a true love. Usually the relationship which starts with sex doesn't last, and is not taken seriously. What women tell me is this - there are many men who want to be with me, some of them offer "care", so I`m accepting it while looking for a true love.
Everything seems to be in order, everyone does what they like, but at the same time, how comes there are so many failures, stresses and depressions???
Here is my opinion - I believe that there are so many failures and disappointments because people think that they are in control of the process. For example a guy sees a girl and says to himself - she is "play-material" and I will act accordingly, or she is "wife-material" and I will act accordingly. I hope many of you have noticed two things:
1) labels "play-material", "wife-material" (i have heard these terms from many people, who I've respected, and that's why I've lost faith in them and suspended our relationships) - remember there are real people, real feelings, real heart and destiny behind these labels.
2) "... I will act accordingly ..." - sounds like a game-plan, whereas love and life are not games, feelings and emotions are not games. To the people who are honest with themselves it should mean the following - I`m playing, but what am I in reality??? At work I`m acting this way, with friends - this way, with girls - this way, what is my true nature??? I think it's important to understand this before even considering to get married and it doesn't matter, which marriage we are talking about.
Don't get me wrong, I`m not blaming anyone and I`m not trying to put all the responsibility on men's shoulders, in fact I wish there was access to some of the boards for women seeking foreign men, so that I could pass the same message to them.
People, all in all, marriage and relationships are private issues, and I know that this post won't change the world, or even a few people who are reading, but I hope that it will arise serious questions about the insides of the people involved.
I've seen many women loosing hope and saw how their hearts and thoughts getting filled with anger and hatred over shabby treatment they received from men, I've seen same things happening to men, I believe that the time has come to try to change the situation.
After all marriage and relationships in general are intended for people who want to care about each other, and to make every moment of each others lives a bit brighter and better, how I wish people would think about it more often. At least every day, just look at
her (or bring up her image in the mind, or look at her photo) and say to yourself "I wish to make this day of yours a wonderful one" of course it's better to tell her that. It's funny that I mentioned this symbolic act. About a year ago I've purchased a greeting card, which says "It's the most wonderful day, because it started with your smile. Love you!". I gave myself a promise that I would give this card to my very special lady. Hmmm... It never happened she left for Moscow to marry a very rich person. Well, life is life, things like this happen. She never got a card, her loss 
I realize that there are lots of issues involved but at the same time, this is a foundation which you can build a house on, without it - don't even bother, the first cracks in the walls will appear during the first two-three weeks.
This post was just an attempt to share my opinion and hopefully will help someone to better understand themselves.
With best wishes,
Rostick.
