The Playbook

[Scaught]

Hello: Regarding the situation in the USA, how many of you with experience say that the following is a typical scenario when a marriage fails before the lapse of two years:

1) divorce or threat of divorce by USA guy-- it's just not working out;
2) spouse files restraining order with no evidence because nothing happened;
3) spouse files papers designed to get various support monies from spouse.

The way the laws are here, the system practically forces the ladies to claim abuse as spousal abuse is one of the very few official sanctioned avenues to stay in the USA and get a green card. Isn't immigration law wonderful!

Of course I hope that you inexperienced people never experience anything like this, but you should know it seems to be in their playbook.

[WillMc]

... in response to The Playbook , posted by Scaught on May 10, 2005

Thanks to you all.  Really good posts.

It is discussions and information like this that make this Forum so helpful.

[babysnooks]

... in response to The Playbook , posted by Scaught on May 10, 2005

If I were wrongly accused of abuse I would take the following steps.
File a complaint with the local Police Dept. or Prosecutors' Office against my accusor for filing a false report and offer to take a polygraph ( polygraphs are usually not admissible in court but prosecuting agencies do rely on them). I would also suggest they request my accusor to take a polygraph. You cannot force them to give, or her to take the polygraph.
Also as a preventitive measure when you are in your fiancee's home town I would take a videotape of her describing her life i.e. job, pay, home etc.  Include if possible a video of her home accomidations, who she lives with, closet space, general conditions and room. Tell her you want to do this as a video diary to show your children their heritage.
In a short term marriage this tape could be very helpful to your divorce attorney and if your marriage lasts you can show it to your children in the hope they better appreciate their situation.

[KenC]

... in response to The Playbook , posted by Scaught on May 10, 2005

Scaught,
I have seen quite a few divorced couples over the years and I would break them down like this:

25% domestic abuse (real or otherwise) before 2 years

25% woman just returns home.  Things didn't work out

25% couple stays married until green card, then parts ways

25% marriage breaks down of "natural" causes after 2 years

I know it is popular to blame the RW for all the DV charges as being trumped up and for sure it does happen, but the truth of the matter is that does seem to be a high amount of "true" domestic violence in AM/RW marriages.  Maybe it comes from the type of men that are attracted to the MOB agencies and the fact that there are a lot of men who really think they are "ordering" a wife.  Marrying complete strangers is another big factor.
KenC

[LP]

... in response to Re: The Playbook , posted by KenC on May 10, 2005


...even coherent Especially the last two points.

It all comes down to intimately knowing the person (from each  side) you're supposedly going to spend the rest of your life with. Even that isn't any gaurantee but when a guy is desperate the time to go that far seldom takes place. Frankly, I have little sympathy for those who suffer from this mistake. Add in language, cultural barriers, and a belief love is these women's priority (at least before they come) and the odds go down even further.

For Ray: Right on, it's nice to see someone who knows the facts. I've given up on immigration myth-busting, people should either study the law or employ someone who has. (And I don't mean for the visa paper shuffling many guys retain immigration lawyers for). Why would anyone actively search for foreign spouse *without* doing so? Uh, don't answer that.

In Scaught's defense he was probaly refering to the I-134 rather than state divorce proceedings but the 134's bark is usually worse than it's bite. I'll pass on comments about how abuse, deportation, and such is treated other than to say the key phrase in your reply was "married in good faith". As long a that can be established the odds of them getting sent packing are almost nil. I know of at least one whose time is likely coming though, and from what I've read of the case she deserves it.

Btw, gotta love that "goin nativ" tale of woe over on your side...great stuff. I wish the guy well but jeez, talk about the need for a Desperometer check...

[Ray]

... in response to The Playbook , posted by Scaught on May 10, 2005

First, there is no requirement that the marriage last at least two years before she can stay here legally. If she married in good faith, has already adjusted status, and then divorces, the law allows her to apply for a waiver of the joint filing requirement to remove conditions on residence. See Form I-751 instructions.

IMO, no man should have to threaten divorce. If it’s just not working out and you decide to split, then get the divorce without the threats. Because some “men” bring a lady here and then threaten to divorce them and have them deported is exactly the reason that the law was changed to allow an abused spouse to stay here legally.

The divorce laws in most states allow for spousal support in certain cases and this has nothing to do with immigrant status, claimed abuse, or any “play book” strategy.

Yes, some ladies are given advice to claim abuse, but without any tangible evidence, her chances are slim to none. If you slap her around, then she has a right to claim abuse.

Ray