I"m outta here guys!!!

[Frank O]

Well guys tommorow Wed October 29th I board my flight to Kiev. I met my fiancee lovely fiancee Diana through an ad I placed through Jack's co. First Dream. I did things a little different (as always) & I guess many would say I lucked out. We will be getting married this trip God willing. This time I WILL be making a trip report. My search for a Ukrainian bride started last year & made my first trip last NOvember. This will be my 3rd trip over there (last one in June). For those who are interested I'm 35 years old my fiancee is 18 going on 19, as if that made a difference. Pray for me guys!!! Take care & God Bless. Frank O

[wsbill]

... in response to I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by Frank O on Oct 28, 2003

Posted a photo of the two you together. Oh well.

Hope you did pack your long johns as it's kinda cold over there at the moment... Like brrrr...cold.

[WmGo]

... in response to I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by Frank O on Oct 28, 2003

18 is unwise. Most unwise. Yes,
I will pray for you

[John K]

... in response to Re: outta here , posted by WmGo on Oct 29, 2003

While I wouldn't jump into a marriage like that again, I will say that it is possible to find happiness in such a large age difference.  Marina was 18 and I was almost 35 when we first met over the internet.  Granted, it was almost 2 years later that we married, but we have survived 5 years now as a monogamous couple (2 years premarriage, 3 years married).

That being said, Frank has a lot cut out for him.  Younger girls tend to be more status conscious and demanding.  You have a maturity gap to bridge, regardless of how people wax eloquent over the "maturity of FSU girls".  Finally, you have to balance dual roles of being a husband and also, at times, being a proxy father.

In the years we have been together, Marina and I have managed our relationship with a lot of flexibility and a lot of patience.  We still occasionally have difficult times with each other, but we work through them much more quickly now.  

Does Frank have a chance for happiness?  Of course, he does.  It just isn't going to be a cakewalk.  He and his wife will need to put a lot on the line to make it work.  I wish them both happiness and success with their marriage in the years ahead.

[jrm]

... in response to I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by Frank O on Oct 28, 2003

why you feel compelled to give jack any credit for you getting married. He is only in it for the bucks!!! Ain't like he was "a friend" setting you up without any monetary compensation. Do you ever read a post hear from people praising "A Foreign Affair"  or any other agency, for finding them a wife?
Just my observation.
Best of luck anyway to you and your new wife.

[tfcrew]

... in response to I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by Frank O on Oct 28, 2003

Tell us all about it soon as you can...
Karl

[tim360z]

... in response to I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by Frank O on Oct 28, 2003

Good luck with everything Frank!  I have read your posts with interest and I think you do have a bit of luck, I hope it continues.  18....well,  who really knows on that one---only time will tell.  Best!

[Michael B]

... in response to I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by Frank O on Oct 28, 2003

God's speed, Frank.

[Travis]

... in response to I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by Frank O on Oct 28, 2003

I wish you the best! But be careful. I will pray for you both. Good luck!

[Richard]

... in response to I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by Frank O on Oct 28, 2003

Good luck.  I hope it all works out well in the long run.

Maybe I should have asked this earlier, but why marary her there?  As I understand it, the K3 / DCF takes about as long as a K1.  (I get the impression the K3 / DCF is/was quicker than a K1 in parts of South America.)

Anyway, as I said, good luck.

[AJ277]

... in response to Re: I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by Richard on Oct 29, 2003

Good luck Frank!

and I am NOT answering for Frank- but just another view point.

why not marry her there?

a wedding is typically the brides big day in adult life, not the grooms.
in the FSU culture even more so.
weddings are a very very big deal.
everyone that congratulates you will wish for your families health happiness and many

CHILDREN.
always in every congrats.
Subtle difference ,but at its heart it is more family oriented.families are closer there in general.

this is  day like no other for her, in her culture she likely has looked foward to it since she was 5 yo.

(given this isnt a second marraige)

if you bring her stateside- who will she know?
who to plan the wedding with?
she wont have her mother aunt, girlfriends to look for the dress , set up the resturant or hall, get just the "right" shoes , and all the fun together leading up to the big day.

I married my wife in ukraine for these reasons.I feel it would be a disservice to deprive her of such a sopecial day in her culture and all that leads up to it wth family and friends.
The wedding was awesome, the different customs,games and traditions  fun and charming.
By spending an extra month there pre wedding with family and friends during what can be also a bit stressful you learn a lot as well.

maybe not as much as 90 days on a k1, but how stressed is she in that situation and how much fun can a wedding be without her friends and relatives?

anyway i dont think one way is better than another or suggest anyone do it this way or that way.

For me when looking at the big picture of the cultural differences, the importance of the cermony there, time spent with her family and friends who i really liked-
and all the other things in our particular case. it was a very very easy choice.
It sems in my mind to start the marriage out on a good foot, as you are showing your interest in her culture background , family and happiness.
she gibes them all up to come here,this is way to show you do care about that sacrifice in a real tangible way.

the time frame of when a visa would be issued or not did not play an important role,
and in my opinion you are marrying so the time frame should be the lowest priority??

for the record though-
Frank is marrying in ukraine so will not likely file a K3.

he will likely DCF the I 130 in kiev.
they send it to warsaw where it is exactly the same time frame as a K1 visa.

the difference being she will land here with a provisional permanant resident visa.That includes basically immediate ability for SS#, green card,  to travel to other countries  etc.
(the k3 is different as it is the bride being granted a temp visa to wait the processing on the I 130 stateside)

so if you choose wrong it could be a more dangerous route
but hopefully when marrying someone you know them well.

[tim360z]

... in response to Re: Re: I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by AJ277 on Oct 29, 2003

It is difficult to generalize on familys and weddings etc.  Stereotypes and stats abound.  There are many familys here who are close.  And if "big" is taken literally,  there are many big weddings here.  Having been to many weddings here I can easily agree with that.  I have also been to Ukrainian and Russian weddings here and it always appeared to be a very large cultural event for the bride and close family.  And everyone celebrated it well, regardless of the setting.  I can say the same for American weddings too.  There is not alot to celebrate in the FSU,  so weddings there may be a more important affair for some.  Divorce stats are rather high there too.  So,  what follows the wedding day is even more important than the wedding day.

[WmGo]

... in response to Re: Re: I"m outta here guys!!!, posted by AJ277 on Oct 29, 2003

Just a couple of comments.

First, a wedding in FSU is *not* any bigger for
the woman there than it is in the states. The opposite is probably true in light of the common extravegance involved in the typical American wedding. It is just a matter upon which empirical statements cannot be made.

Second, it is a *myth* that families are closer
in the FSU than in America. A popular myth in
MOB circles, but a myth nonetheless.

Third, I agree with, respect and admire your reasons
for having your marriage ceremony there.

Good luck.

[jrm]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I"m outta here , posted by WmGo on Oct 29, 2003

Out of necessity, people there have to rely on each other for mere survival. Do you know your next door neigbors? Well the 70 years of "communism" induced a reliance on each other for survival.

[WmGo]

... in response to Of course families and friends are close..., posted by jrm on Oct 30, 2003

You speak as one who has never been there.

Yes, I know all my neighbors all the way down the street including both sides of the street. It is a normal thing here in the South, which stretches from Texas to Virignia. Just because some people in America are abnormal with respect to family and neighbors does not extrapolate into the proposition that all are. Families are much more close in America then in the FSU. And, if you have ever been to the FSU you would know that there is a complete absence of a sense of community and neighborhood.

Yes, families that are *intact* , a minority, are close, but not any closer than people here or anywhere else.

I have traveled extensively throughout the FSU, have dozens of permanent contacts there and I find the MOB myth about "FSU families are closer" as entirely laughable. The facts simply do not support the proposition. It is just one of the many myths that agencies began to sell their wares. I wish it were true, it just isn't.

On a sidenote, divorce is now more common there than anywhere in the world (almost 70%).