Another one bites the dust?...Don't know yet.

[wsbill]

... in response to Another one bites the dust?...Don't know..., posted by Stevo on Jul 28, 2003

You guys just don't get it.  Put yourself in her shoes.

This girl's life in Moscow is 180* degree out from American life in suburbia.

I'll bet her life consisted of walking 1/2 a mile to the metro station and being highly mobile via that means of transist.

Where as where she's at now, she's got to be driven everywhere if she wants something.  Our society is quite constrained compared to hers in Moscow where on the Metro line there is a abunancy of shops and in American suburbia there is just a handful to pick from - the super market on the corner and maybe wal-mart. I can imagine she's like super bored, her shopping for food on a daily basis has now been tasked to once a week.

Somebody told me a while back most women are going to expect you to relocate for the THEM.  Preferably to NYC.
Somebody has planted that seed in their mind.

Remember, they think all American are rich.  You did tell her your not rich, right.. or how about did you show her pictures of your house and what's in side.

You should have told your girl that your not going to move to NYC.

I think if you live in Suburbia you should be looking for that farm girl.  She'll think she's in heaven - running indoor plumbing and electricity!  This girl will love the daylights of out you...

What do you think the city girl is going to do?
Your not bettering her lifestyle, she's looking for Donald Trump.

[tim360z]

... in response to Re: Some of the post below are a bit wea..., posted by wsbill on Jul 28, 2003

a

[Robert D]

... in response to Another one bites the dust?...Don't know..., posted by Stevo on Jul 28, 2003

Never been to Moscow.   But I have been to St. Pete.  Pretty City, rather modern, but infrastructure crumbling.  Had a good meal from time to time, but NEVER had a great one.  But I am from a Restaurant town, and frankly have trouble finding good food most anywhere.  But, this women just sounds like someone you would not date even here.  If she is so picky, why bother?  Now if this guy has her stuck out in the middle of nowhere, in IDAHO, well I would understand.  But most burbs in most majory or close to major cities I have seen here, if for no other reason than you can find a decent grocery store, (I found non in St. Pete) should be a step up, I would think.  If she wants NYC, then that is where she should have looked for a husband, and frankly I have to think the person she is here visiting had to give her some idea of where he lived.  Hummmmmmm

Robert D.

[Stevo]

... in response to Re: Another one bites the dust?...Don't ..., posted by Robert D on Jul 28, 2003

ggg

[Scaught]

... in response to Another one bites the dust?...Don't know..., posted by Stevo on Jul 28, 2003

Thank you for the post. Usually when we hear about a breakup, we don't get details and therefore can't understand why it happened. But you framed it so people can learn. This sounds somewhat like the Green Acres show, or The Beverly Hillbillies, although those are stereotypical exaggerations. They represent on one level the clash between two cultures: hick rural and jet-set urban. And that sounds like the essence of the trouble affecting the couple you describe, though it's probably not so extreme. Right now the Muscovite has severe culture shock; part of it is that she's in another country and another is that she is in a town instead of a city. The videotapes reconnect her with her sorely missed life. All bets are off that she can stick it out...

[Stevo]

... in response to Green Acres/Beverly Hillbillies, posted by Scaught on Jul 28, 2003

Connecticut, which is about as far from Green Acres as you can get in the New England area.  The problem is that no matter how many photos you send or what you describe in letters, the majority of these ladies cannot comprehend what a non-city/suburban lifestyle is like.  They think EVERYTHING is like NYC.  Here, they can't even get out of the house without relying on their husband-to-be, let alone go out shoppiong by themselves.

[RickM]

... in response to Just to calibrate things, we're talkin' ..., posted by Stevo on Jul 28, 2003

I live in Massachusetts about 2 hours north of Cape.Population about 80,000.

My wife loves this place and wish it were even less people and less cars on the streets.That was from day one...And especially now,that she drives...

And she is from Bishkek,Kyrgyzstan where population was about 1 and 1/2 million...

She came here and has no desire what-so-ever to leave...
Calls her family in Russia with call card every month or two and doesn't even have a desire to visit there all that often...Once in almost 3 years...

In fact I brought her to Brighton Beach NYC Brooklyn a couple of weekends ago and she thought it was dirty,congested and full of ignorant people...Said she does not miss Russian people at all...I thopught it was cool...

Guess it depends on the lady...Mine is like a clam in a shell here in USA...

[tbirdjoy]

... in response to That's So Interesting..., posted by RickM on Jul 29, 2003

I have to agree with you.  It really depends on the woman. My wife is from Crimea and loves everything about California, me, the food, the people, where we live, the recreation....everything.  She doesn't miss Ukraine at all only her family.  She only calls a couple of times per week for about an hour total.  She figures she'll visit home once every few years.  She's not in a hurry to get her license or drive she's perfectly happy with me driving her everywhere. She's an absoulte dream.  No my previous Russian wife from Moscow, who btw was an English instructor at a college in Moscow and had travelled Western Europe was extremely homesick for the first two years she was in the US.  She was under a doctor's care for depression and I was sending her home for visits constantly.  So it really comes down to the individual, and no one nows how the woman will react until she gets here.

Mark

[John K]

... in response to Re: That's So Interesting..., posted by tbirdjoy on Aug 1, 2003

My wife has been here for since July 2000 and she still has a hard time dealing with life here, despite two extensive vacations back home.  I think a lot has to do with her mother and grandmother still being over there.  If her grandmother died and her mother moved to the US, Marina would likely never go back home, despite her dislike for American life.

Of course, the Inland Empire area is kind of like the armpit of California, so my wife has no love of this state.  We are looking forward to returning back to Iowa in a couple of months.  Then, we might settle down for a while.

I'm pretty pleased with the upcoming move myself.  No more smog, excessive fees, and idiot politics.  I heard on the radio that they expect over 200 candidates for governor, if Davis gets recalled, including a porn star who wants to tax breast implants.  Shoot, that alone might balance the budget...

[wsbill]

... in response to Just to calibrate things, we're talkin' ..., posted by Stevo on Jul 28, 2003

car and drive to the store, pull through McDonalds and get a heart-attack on a bun, walk through the cosmetic section and the meat section at Wal-Mart and pann all the isle of merchandise....

I'll bet there are some guys that are kinda worried that if they exposed too much of their life, they may think a girl might reject them.  That's a valid point...but if a girl rejected a dude cause of where he lived at, ah...well that would be perfectly alright.

NEXT!

[Griffin redux]

... in response to Green Acres/Beverly Hillbillies, posted by Scaught on Jul 28, 2003

it's more hick urban and jet-set suburban.

My wife could not deal with going to the grocery store once a week.  Rather than plan ahead, she wanted to to shop once or even TWICE a day.

For the most part, the women who are attracted to us are marginally educated and come from an impoverished environment.  They have the certainty of opinion that a life without  reflection affords.  If you're not prepared to deal with that you'd best not ante.

That's just the opinion of a man about to be divorced.  I could be wrong.    :-)

[John K]

... in response to In my experience you.ve got it right, ex..., posted by Griffin redux on Jul 28, 2003

My wife is similar in that we normally keep an almost empty fridge and make a nightly trek to the supermarket.  Even if we have leftovers, she'll want to go.  We'll pick up a carton of milk, or a box of cookies or something.  It's not so much that she wants to shop daily as it is she wants to get out of the house.  Grocery store trips are like a breath of freedom for a little lady with cabin fever...

[tim360z]

... in response to In my experience you.ve got it right, ex..., posted by Griffin redux on Jul 28, 2003

a

[MtMav]

... in response to In my experience you.ve got it right, ex..., posted by Griffin redux on Jul 28, 2003

one of your assertions/cultural attitudes. You wrote: "My wife could not deal with going to the grocery store once a week. Rather than plan ahead, she wanted to shop once or even TWICE a day." Whoa! Your former wife's habit of grocery shopping once per day, every day is quite the norm for either a Western or Eastern European women. It is NOT a matter of your former wife being unable to plan ahead. Rather, a typical European woman wants to shop, cook and eat fresh daily as opposed to the processed crap we eat! (Ever look at a can of our food ...... you need to be a Chemist to figure out what's in it). Any man involved in looking for an FSU woman must understand this. How do I know? I lived in Western Europe for 3 years and observed. I was married to a German lady who went to the "lebensmittel" (grocery store) daily for FRESH bread (not our "Wonder bread" crap), FRESH vice frozen fruit, vegetables and meats. When she came to the States, I willingly accomodated her daily shopping habits. For those of you who marry a traditional European woman (Western or Eastern), expect your bride to want to shop daily AND WITH GOOD REASON!

[tim360z]

... in response to I must disagree with, posted by MtMav on Jul 28, 2003

No.  One does not need to go food shopping once or twice a day for good food here.  It is really a cultural thing and an availability problem in the FSU.  There is an abundance of good food here.  Cooked from scratch.  Unprocessed.  No junk.  4 star restaurants here get foods every other day,  not every day.  In the FSU,  one is highly constrained by the limitations of the market and it becomes a mindset.  And a routine which is not needed.  A time consuming and a stupid Russian pursuit.  A Russian myth.  Which may work in Russia.  Here?  One does not need to go to the butcher everyday,  like FSU.  One can "age" their own beef tenderloins or NY strips...not go to the butcher twice a day to see whats in stock today, right now...for today.  Anyone ever have a great steak in the FSU?  Tell me about it!

And "Planning Ahead" has never been the strong suit of Russian culture or agriculture or governments.  Uh! 5 year plans and collective farms???  

Pardon me.  But I'm 1/2 Russian and I know the Russians have a long way to go in alot of ways.  Gonna take a little time.