... in response to Nice Photos!, posted by John K on Jun 17, 2003Yes, you are right. A large part of this was Victoria's determination to do this. I think of a woman comes over here not sure... then she will probably bail. It is hard... it really is.
The biggest challenge for us has been the two children adjusting to each other -- or maybe more correctly -- adjusting to the fact that they are no longer an only child.
They do play together a bit now. But it seems like for every hour they spend arguing, they spend 60 minutes fighting... Driving to the grocery store with them in the back can be nerve-rattling someimes.
As far as Stas' adjustment... he made the adjustment quickly. There were a few times, early on, when he talked to his mom about going home. But this was more on the level of a little boy threatening to run away from home than anything serious. (When he felt he wasn't getting enough attention, he would play the "I want to go homne" card. It ended one day when Victoria walked in the room where he was crying with a box of kleenex. She shut the door and said. "Good news, I have an hour free now. And I have a box of Kleenex here. Since you want me to see you cry, I thought I could spend the next hour watching you. Here... have a kleenex." And she sat down and said nothing, but watched him cry. That lasted about two minutes. He hasn't done it since...)
Stas loves school here. One thing about Texas schools -- they are pretty geared towards kids who don't speak English. He was in mainstream classes, and pulled out for ESL once a day. But he understands English well, and speaks it pretty well. The teachers loved him and he made several friends. When we had a birthday party for him, he invited four kids, and three showed up -- which is pretty good these days. In fact, the one who didn't make it had a soccer game, or he said he would have come.
Stas has quickly changed his diet to line up with an American kid's diet -- much to his mother's chagrin. ("But, you used to *love* salad!... you had Pizza just yesterday..." etc)
Stas is actually a pretty good kid, but we do have our moments sometimes. One thing that helps is that Victoria lets me be the dad -- even when she disagrees with me. (She thinks I am too hard on both children...) I don't hit the kids or anything like that. But I will raise my voice, and I will demand that certain rules are followed.
Over all, we are adjusting. There have even been "Family" moments that we have all enjoyed. One thing I have implemented is that almost every evening we all sit down as a family and watch a movie together. Victoria resisted at first (she always seems to have ironing to do...) but I wanted us to do it as a family. Of course, the other side of it is that it helps English skills.
Now, it is something that everyone -- including Victoria -- enjoys and looks forward to us. Blockbuster knows us all by name.
So, there have sure been challenges. The relationship between Victoria and me has never been better. She is pure gold, and everything I was hoping for. The kids offer a challenge but... well... that's parenting, right?
