Cost of Russian/Ukranian Marriage

JohnC

Guest

« on: May 14, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

How much do most men from the US spend on bringing a woman from the Ukraine or Russia over to the states (i.e. cost of visa, car, clothes, etc)?


	Logged

Antonua

Guest

sometimes its cheaper to rent then buy... nt

« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Cost of Russian/Ukranian Marriage, posted by JohnC on May 14, 2003

..


	Logged

Travis

Guest

Re: Cost of Russian/Ukranian Marriage

« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Cost of Russian/Ukranian Marriage, posted by JohnC on May 14, 2003

[This message has been edited by Travis]

Do you mean after the visa is issued and she's coming here to marry?

Trip to interview and visa fees: $800
Airline tickets: $1800
Hotel rooms: $450
Out on the town: $2000+
Home decorations (aka nesting): $600
Cosmetics and hair care: $360+
INS filing fees: $550
Clothes shopping: $3000+
Wedding: $2500+
Rings: $5000
Phone: $1500+
Attorney retainer: $1500
Other legal fees: $494
Spousal support: $2250
Court transcripts: $270
Final attorney fee: $?
Having her tell you that you are the cheapest person she has ever met: PRICELESS!!!

If you mean to go and visit there? I spent about $1500 in two weeks not counting airfare.


	Logged

JohnC

Guest

Re: Re: Cost of Russian/Ukranian Marriage

« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Cost of Russian/Ukranian Marriage, posted by Travis on May 15, 2003

Yes, after the visa has been issued and she is coming to the states to maryy.


	Logged

Griffin

Guest

I don't think he meant round trip. :-)

« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Cost of Russian/Ukranian Marriage, posted by Travis on May 15, 2003

If I recall you're from Texas. How did they arrive at the "spousal support" number? Is that a one-time get-her-back-home figure or is that per month?

Congratulatios on retaining your sense of humor.


	Logged

Travis

Guest

Re: I don't think he meant round trip. :-)

« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to I don't think he meant round trip. :-), posted by Griffin on May 15, 2003

[This message has been edited by Travis]

I really don't have a clue how the judge came up with the dollor amount or time. I think they based it on my salary because I had to fill out a form telling them what I made and what my expenses were. All I recall is him saying that he was thinking three months at $750 a month. I argued a little for $400 for three months (VERY little argument) and next I knew I was paying three months at $750. She asked for three years at $1350, hence my little resistance. The trial date was set for five months after this hearing, so the judge could have gone higher since we are still legally married...this isn't alimony as we don't really have that here until after 10 years.

I think the humor helps retain sanity and perspective. I've had close friends go through much more trying ordeals so I should consider myself lucky in some sense. Don't get me wrong though, I'm still p1ssed :-)

P.S. Maybe a round trip needs to be kept in mind. Hopefully WAY at the back of one's mind, but sh1t do happen! If I were an intelligent man, I would have set up a seperate bank account with appropriate funds just in case. But I've rarely been accused of this :-)


	Logged

Globetrotter

Guest

Re: Re: I don't think he meant round trip. :-)

« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: I don't think he meant round trip. ..., posted by Travis on May 15, 2003

I think you are lucky, and funny as well. Racers have a term..."Keep the shiny side up." Just means when on the track, don't turn upside down. For you, things could have been much, much worse. You are young and seem smart. Just remember, next time, marry your best friend. She could be here or there, but should be your best friend...the one you would pick to spend most of your time with. I have been castigated, stoned, threatened, accused, abused, challenged to fights, called a "player" a time waster, and more, for my thoughts and words.

You know how badly things can work out when they don't work out. I wish you would tell more of your story...how you met, your timeline, red flags, if there were any, how things went wrong ("you cheapskate"). Teasing.

What did you see? When? How? Could you have done better?
These are the things you can help "newbies" with, who think that a pretty face and great "T&A" and great sex sooner than it should happen, happens.

You are in a unique position to tell more...which would be of help to all. Godspeed in your finality.


	Logged

Bobby Orr

Guest

Red Flags

« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: I don't think he meant round tri..., posted by Globetrotter on May 16, 2003

Think back to the red flags you should have stopped at, that you went through with her. Any back in the FSU? What caused the behavior / relationship change - that may be the key for you to understand yourself / behavior in this particular woman, women in general or in particular FSU women.


	Logged

Travis

Guest

Re: Red Flags

« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Red Flags, posted by Bobby Orr on May 16, 2003

The first was that she lied. The lie didn't seem like too big of a deal to me but it was still a lie. She said she didn't smoke. While I was there she continuously excused herself. She would leave for 10 minutes or so here and there. One day while we were driving to a park, I saw a pack of cigarettes in her purse when she went to take her cell phone out. Not that I really care that she smokes, but I should have cared that she lied about it.

Later, after we married, I learned of a LOT of other things that she lied about. She claimed she didn't do drugs and never did. Lie! After she was here, she admitted she did. Wish I would have known about the anti-depressants too!!!

When she got off the plane in Newark I was there with a single rose. At that time, we had not seen each other in over a year. No kiss, no joy in seeing me, she just seemed like "ok, let's get to the hotel". I wrote it off thinking "well, it was a long flight and it is after midnight, she's tired".

Once we were in Houston, we went out to a Russian night club with her friends. We got a booth. I was sitting on one side and her best friend sat on the other with her new Russian boyfriend (she had long ago left her husband). My fiancee came to sit down. She didn't sit by me, she crowded next to her friend. Why? At the time I had no idea but it was because she really could care less about me. It was embarressing and did tick me off. Again I blew it off.

September 3rd should have been the day that I sent her back, 2 weeks before we married. She hated for me to touch her in any way. I don't just mean provocatively, I mean in ANY way. We went to bed and I put my hand on her hip I think. She immediately reached down and threw my arm away from her. Well, I got ticked because this was by far not the first time she had done this. So I get up, cussing to myself a bit and get dressed. I went downstairs looking for my keys because I felt a strong urge for a cigarette myself and didn't have any, so I was going to go to the store. I think it was about 11:30 or so. She came downstairs screaming at me and decided to herself that I wasn't going to leave. She started hitting me. Nothing major, maybe 3 or 4 times. I left the house and didn't go back for about an hour. Stoopid-@ss me blows this off too. She was drunk and heck, they were girl hits, they didn't hurt. Not like being hit by a man anyway.

September 14th was the next. Our wedding day! We're walking out of Ceasar's in Las Vegas to catch a cab to Rio I think. We were with her same friends. I reached out to hold her hand. She held her hand up and says "You want?". Then she hits me upside the head and runs off. Why I haven't yet figured out other than she was drunk and she can't now and couldn't then stand to me near me. She married me for a greencard and money.

Do you see any red flags? I do now and did then. Why I went through with the marriage? I loved her and even now I can't quite bring myself to say I don't love her. That and I was an idiot basically. The really bad thing is that everything went downhill following September 14th!


	Logged

WmGo

Guest

Red Flags vs. Love

« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Red Flags, posted by Travis on May 16, 2003

Travis,

Sorry you got burned.

Next time remember that
if a woman loves you,
really loves you, she will
treat you like a king. She
will hold you in the
highest regard. She will
strive to esteem and respect
you. In short, her actions will
prove her love.

If actions do not prove the
love, then they disprove it.
This is a fundamental law of
the Universe.

WmGO


	Logged

Globetrotter

Guest

Re: Re: Red Flags

« Reply #10 on: May 16, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Red Flags, posted by Travis on May 16, 2003

Thanks


	Logged

hockeybrain

Guest

We all appreciate the details

« Reply #11 on: May 16, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Red Flags, posted by Travis on May 16, 2003

I, and I am sure other readers on the board really appreciate you sharing the first signs of trouble plus addition red flags now that you can clearly see what you were really dealing with. Hopefully others may encounter women who treat them similarly and remember what ultimately happened to you. I know how hard it is for anyone to admit they made a mistake. I know how hard someone tries to justify a decision. I know how difficult it is to let go when you think you have found the right girl, especially a FSU woman. Again, I thank you.


	Logged

Travis

Guest

Re: We all appreciate the details

« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to We all appreciate the details, posted by hockeybrain on May 16, 2003

Thanks! I need to make a few things clear regarding what I went through and what is still happening. First, I don't write here because I want sympathy! I'm not into any boo-hoo'ing about what I did and what she did to me. I got myself into this mess and I will get myself out, me and my lawyer anyway. What I want is other men to see and understand the mistakes I made and not repeat them for themselves. I am man enough to admit and try to learn from my own mistakes, but I hope others can see where I messed up and not repeat what I did!

The fact of the matter is, she played a game with me. She knew the rules and played them! She was being coached by friends of hers that had already gone through this. There are other women there that are going to play the same game. To some of them it's a game, to you, it's your life. It isn't all of these ladies, I will be the first to admit this. But there are those that will do this. PLEASE be careful!

In the end, I will be ok. It's my soon to be ex wife that has to deal with things now. I mean that from a legal perspective. Not only her, but her friends too, the ones that kept giving her personal, marrital and legal advise. We had a saying in the Navy "Stand by for heavy rolls". I'll give more details in August!

Know what really sucked? I did love her and I gave her everything I had. Yet I was still the cheapest person she had ever met. I was kind and nice and did everything I could for her but within two weeks of being married she was looking for another man...rather HAD been looking for another man. It never was her intention to remain married to me. I allowed myself to be used and for that I have only her and myself to blame...and her friends.

My biggest problem? I allowed love to blind me! I rushed into this. I didn't listen to the people here on this board that have been through all this!!! I should have known she didn't want to be married to me. All the signs were there but I chose to ignore them. I wrote them off. I'm good at coming up with excuses when I feel I'm in love. Hell, I did know she didn't care for me much less love me. I was just hoping for the best, which was stupid!

Weird thing is, I still worry about her. That I can't help. I know how her temper is and what she does when she looses control. Losing control with me is one thing, because I can control myself and not do anything stupid, but when she's seeing another guy who could hurt her??? That worries me a lot. But there isn't anything I can do but wait! That doesn't seem right. I get accused of everything in the book, but didn't do anything and wouldn't. But I worry about who is going to hurt her because she's all but begging for it! DAMN!

I guess it's obvious I don't yet have closure :-) I'm working on it!


	Logged

Guest

We do?

« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to We all appreciate the details, posted by hockeybrain on May 16, 2003

[This message has been edited by LP]

...nah, forget it....


	Logged

Charles

Guest

Re: Cost of Russian/Ukranian Marriage

« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Cost of Russian/Ukranian Marriage, posted by JohnC on May 14, 2003

The cost varies with the individual, but figure on spending the following for a one week trip:

Airfare: $600+/- (it will be higher in summer, lower in off season)
Visa: $ 90 (higher if you use a service - go to embassy website and follow directions and save the $$)
Visa Support (for Russia) - $30 to a travel agent
Gifts: $100
Lodging: $500 (7 days @ $70 per night) Could be higher or lower depending on where you stay). You will get more value renting a flat.
Car: Forget it! Take the taxi, bus or metro. Figure about $150 for this for a week. Most of that cost will be transfers to and from airport. If you don't take boat rides and use the metro/bus, you can save. Most things are accessible in most cities by walking.
Other (meals, etc): $700 (7 days @ $100/day) Will be higher in the major cities like Moscow/Kiev/St. Pete, maybe lower in smaller cities/towns.

So for a 1 week trip figure about $2300-2500. It could be higher or lower depending on many factors.

Once you want to bring them here, the fiance visa cost is now $100, plus airfare and a night or two in a hotel. Then you have AOS costs - I think that's about $250 as well as an EAD $100 or more and, if needed advance parole - $100 or more. Of course, you have to provide basic living expenses just as you would for an American Wife. However, while with an AW you don't have the visa and travel expense, I think a general statement can be made that RW are thrifty by nature and careful with their money. I can certainly say that in my case if I analyzed the "cost" of my marriage to Tania on a purely financial basis as opposed to the cost of marrying an AW, I am now way ahead, not to mention being incredibly happy.


	Logged

Pages: [1] 2 Go Up

« previous next »