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Author Topic: Need Advice/Suggestions . . .  (Read 14972 times)
Dan
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« on: April 30, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
I'm kind of out of my element on this one - and could use your thoughts/advice.

As some of you know I travel a lot. These past few months it has been almost weekly and I am gone for the entire week.

Olya has been comforted by the puppy that we bought shortly after her arrival 2 years ago. He is no longer a puppy, though with his enormous energy, it is hard to see that. A 100 pound black lab just bounding with unbridled enthusiasm and love of my wife.

Many of you with wives from the FSU will probably recognize the bond between these women and their dogs. It is VERY strong.

Our lab has played an enormously important role in Olya's easy adjustment to life in the US. He has provided companionship, distraction, and protection.

Early Tuesday morning - while I was away from home - the dog was sleeping in our bedroom with Olya - as a comfort for her while I am away. He woke her with labored breathing and was unable to regain his breath. He died within a very short time - maybe a minute Olya says.

We are, of course, looking at the possibility that someone poisoned him - though it seems unlikely.

So those of you that are long-time pet-owners - what do you (or can you) say to soften the blow of such an unexpected and abrupt end?

To make matters worse - my niece just lost a 5-month old baby to SIDS and the confluence of unrelated events has just set us on-end.

BTW - today is our 2-year anniversary. I hope future anniversaries are not quite so eventful.

- Dan
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don1
Guest
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Need Advice/Suggestions . . ., posted by Dan on Apr 30, 2003


Dan , Congrats on your anniversary ; but sorry to hear of your losses . The bonds shared between people and pets can be very strong ; and when there are such ties , the loss of an animal can hit you just as hard as the loss of a family member . There is not much that an outsider such as myself can say to soften such a blow but offer a few words and sentiments , in the hopes that you and Olya can find some comfort in knowing that you have many friends here ; and that they are sharing in some of what you are feeling .

I am a long - time pet owner , last year I lost one that had been my faithful companion for nearly 13 years . He was 17 years old , I took him from a guy that I worked with who's kids had developed allergies and could no longer keep him . They wanted him to go to a good home , and I did my best to give him a good life . When he passed away , it was difficult . Over the years , we'd gotten to know each other's likes and dislikes , habits , and idiosyncracies . I saw and interacted with him every day ; while in contrast , I only got to see and visit my immediate family members a few times a year . In some ways , he filled a gap in my life ; just as your dog filled a gap in your wife's life while you are off traveling because of your work and business commitments . I think you need to get another dog for your family ; but not until some time has passed so your family can feel some sense of closure . And probably not until a bit after your baby is born and things start to get settled down again .

In the meantime , perhaps Olya can find some comfort in this :

When days are sad and lonely ,
and everything goes wrong
I seem to hear you whisper :
"Cheer up and carry on . "

Every time I see your picture ,
you smile and seem to say :
"Don't cry I'm only sleeping ,
we'll meet again someday . "

You gave me no farewell
nor ever said goodbye .
You were gone before I knew it ,
and only God knows why .

A million times I've missed you
a million times I've cried .
If love alone could have saved you ,
you never would have died .

It broke my heart to lose you ,
but you didn't go alone .
For a part of me went with you
the day God took you home .


**************************
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thesearch
Guest
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Need Advice/Suggestions . . ., posted by Dan on Apr 30, 2003

Dan,

What a bummer. I agree with the idea of getting another dog once your lady is up to it.  Good Luck

Greg
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Yeahbaby
Guest
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Need Advice/Suggestions . . ., posted by Dan on Apr 30, 2003

As a breeder (Australian Shepherds) I often recommend a terrific little book.  It is called "The Perfect Puppy" and it is all about choosing a dog based on it's behaviors.  It goes over about 50 or 60 different breeds and rates them on about 13 different behaviors- things like playfulness, destructiveness, excitability, how they are with kids, etc..
You decide what characteristics you want in a dog and this books helps to point out what breeds you and your family might consider based on what you are wanting in a dog.
This is how I actually found out about "aussis" way back in 1988.  I decided what I wanted in a dog and it basically told me that this was the ideal dog for me, and were they right!  I would never own anything else!  Of course most dog owners feel that way about their breeds. ;-)

There is nothing worse than falling for a "cute little ball of fur" that turns into your biggest nightmare because you hate it's characteristics as an adult..

Really great book!

Written by Benjamin Hart DVM and Lynette Hart.

Later,
Oscar
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Yeahbaby
Guest
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Need Advice/Suggestions . . ., posted by Dan on Apr 30, 2003

Dan, I will give you a call on this.  I think I have a little knowledge in both areas, being a therapist and a breeder of championship Australian Shepherds.. ;-)

Going to get our vaccination forms filled out by the health dept right now for the AOS..  I will call when we return..

Later,
Oscar
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Bill P
Guest
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Need Advice/Suggestions . . ., posted by Dan on Apr 30, 2003

Dan-

Natasha and I want to express our condolences for your loss.  I asked her to call Olya and tell her directly.  I think I would agree with RW that when the baby comes, there will be so much to do that taking care of a small dog would be one more thing to worry about.  We'll see you soon.
-Bill P
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BURKE89
Guest
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Need Advice/Suggestions . . ., posted by Dan on Apr 30, 2003

Here's what I did, when confronted with a similar scenario:

An ex-fiance's beloved animal, (a Boxer - of which I've always had - at least since nine) met a semblable death & created dystopia in her, as well. Right or wrong, I found the best bit*h in California - San Diego - tied a ribbon upon her neck four days later &... well, Steph cried with joy upon the sight of her new puppy/champion!

She, despite her pain, was 'glowing.'

I'd avoid animals from 'the pound,' Dan. IMHO, it wouldn't be prudent to bring such an animal, regardless of the moral clamour to do such, into a home with a future baby.

Regarding poisoning of animals (especially dogs):

I've experience here, and the primary reasons for this are rather straightforward & simple:

- An individual wishes to steal your belongings.

- An individual desires to harm your family.

- Or, less likely, you've encountered a loony/hateful pric..., who enjoys harming 'man's best friend' for kicks.

The first two, happen daily in another portion of the semi-civilized world (the S.A. farming community), dogs are the first defence with poisoning a primary tool.

Once again, sorry to hear of your misfortune

Regards, Vaughn

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Oatmeal
Guest
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Sorry, to hear of your losses, posted by BURKE89 on May 1, 2003

Actually,
If you ask most vets they will tell you that a mixed breed is in many ways much superior to a pure breed any day of the week.  Not saying that you have to get a dog at the pound, but I got my dog from the pound about 7 years ago and he has been a fantastic friend to me. He's one of the smartest and most charismatic dogs I've met.

On the other hand I don't know if I would get a pet soon to the delivery of a baby just because of the health concerns and also for the adjustment of the family.  Might be too much adjustment too soon.
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Yeahbaby
Guest
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Disagree on one point, posted by Oatmeal on May 2, 2003

is that you mostly know what you are getting in terms of behavior, size, temperament, etc.. Whereas with a mix breed you have no oppportunity to know what it's parents really were (they can guess of course) and you have no idea what it's behavior or often it's full size might become.  You can cross two very mellow dogs of mixed breed and get a very nervous or aggressive dog through the mix.  So this is the main advantage of a purebred.

Oscar
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Bobby Orr
Guest
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to The advantage of a purebred-, posted by Yeahbaby on May 2, 2003

I agree that you tend to get closer to the personality you want with the purebreed.  The mutt statistically will be heartier.
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Yeahbaby
Guest
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Heartiness vs Consistency, posted by Bobby Orr on May 2, 2003

I can't say that I can agree with that really.  A problem with purebreds can be that many breeds have certain problems that are inherent to the breed, such as eye problems or hip problems, etc..  If you buy an animal from a VERY reputable breeder, you will not have to worry about these things because they will have already checked for these problems before they sell the pup.  They will have eye checks, hip ratings from the national dysplasia center etc..  I have had nothing but the healthiest of dogs in my breeding and I would never let an animal out of my house if I were not sure about it.

With a mix, you really can't have any idea what it's parentage is so no way of knowing about any of its ancestry and THEIR problems etc.. So again, I think purebred is the way to go IF you never consider buying from a pet store or someone who is just out to make a buck, what we call a "backyard breeder"!  If you buy from a very reputable breeder, you stand to run into far less problems than if you don't use this type of breeder or buy a mix breed where it is basically a crap shoot..

Later,

Oscar
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Bobby Orr
Guest
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Heartiness vs Consistency, posted by Yeahbaby on May 2, 2003

Reputable breeders do make a huge difference.  As you point out it is tough to talk generalities.
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Oatmeal
Guest
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Heartiness vs Consistency, posted by Yeahbaby on May 2, 2003

Well,

everything is basically up to a person's taste but I guess because of my background and growing up in a lower income family (I'm a mixed breed myself, so how can I argue with my own bloodline.  Ha ha ha) I just have the predisposition to believe that mutts generally make better companions but each animal has it's own predispositions and traits.  Just the same I would not turn away a pet or a loved one just because there were some flaws.  How many of you would kick out your grandmother just because she has too many physical limitations.  Just comes down to where your heart is.

I guess though you can choose to try your best to weed out potential future heartaches and headaches but my life experience has shown me that no matter how hard you try everyone takes a bite of that bitter life pie.  

Just seems to come right back around and bite you in the backside.
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Alfred
Guest
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Sorry, to hear of your losses, posted by BURKE89 on May 1, 2003

According to Vaughn:

I'd avoid animals from 'the pound,' Dan. IMHO, it wouldn't be prudent to bring such an animal, regardless of the moral clamour to do such, into a home with a future baby.

Alf notes:

You do have a point there about the future baby.  While some of us do prefer "the pound," as you call it, I have nothing against buying from a reputable breeder.  It's the puppy mills, who often supply pet stores, and amateur's that I am concerned about.  

Since I don't show or breed my dogs, I don't need a pedigree.  Howevever, with a child in picture, maybe they are better off with a better known quantity from a *reputable* breeder.
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BURKE89
Guest
« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Sorry, to hear of your losses, posted by Alfred on May 2, 2003

You're correct, in the love of the 'dog' - superfluous of its heritage. However, I'd venture to make a rather vile analogy myself:

"One can love an 'ugly one,' as well as ..."

The canine - will stand!

Vaughn
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