Through WMVN...how many?!..

[Frank O]

Well guys I'm still here just REALLY busy. Now that I'm trying the WMVM after my failed WOVO attempt (as Clint Eastwood said in Heartbreak Ridge "you improvise, you adapt, you overcome!" LOL!) I'm currently writing several ladies I'd say about 6. I'm having trouble just being able to write them all & keep straight as to who is who. How many is TOO Many? Or is there such a thing? Also Do any of you use their city/hometown as a screening process? Like focus on a certain city? Anyways since THIS method is new to me I'd like some feedback. I got my hands full!

[juio99]

... in response to Through WMVN...how many?!.., posted by Frank O on Mar 12, 2003

I have done this a few times, so here is my info.

First, I would never dream of not just focusing on one city. There is just too much time lost in the travel from city to city process.

Second, I have lost as many as 4 ladies right in the last week before a trip, so your 6 can possibly boil down to a WMVO trip or a likely WM visit zero trip.  These women have things happen in their lives like job transfers to another city, job changes wherein the can't take the days off they had planned, parents sick in other cities, etc.

In my case, I was usually writing to 20 or more, so losing 4 wasn't a catastrophe, but for smaller numbers of contacts, it can be.

There is a very easy way to keep track of a large number of ladies that you are writing to at the same time.  Set up a listing somewhere on your computer, or even via hand on some paper.  List each womans name and important data down the left hand side:  then have columns to check off when you send each lady a certain bit of info about yourself, etc.

You can have standard letters you send, each containing some important info about you, your family, your job, your state, city, etc, etc.  Then, for each lady, you customize each standard letter somewhat to answer the questions she posed in her last letter, to ask questions specific to her situation, etc.  You can mix the customized sentences thoughout the standard letter and, in that fashion, it will lessen the tendency for the letter to look like a 'boiler plate.'

This is really not that hard.  Anyone who has done any sort of administrative work, kept a household budget, kept track of which kid has to be a which activity on which date, etc., should be able to keep track of 50 or so ladies with little problem.  It is however, time consuming . . . make no mistake about that.

And then, you also have to avoid the tendency to fall in love with any of the women via the e-mail contact.  This is what many guys do, and hence they then state that they simply cannot carry on correspondence with more than one at a time.  But the more you write to, probably the less tendency there is to fall in love with one of them.  The more you have going at once, the less likely that you will fall in love with one's letters.

Wait to fall in love until after you have met with all of them once, and have met more times with a few of them, and have met some more times with only one of them.

JR

[juio99]

... in response to My ideas, posted by juio99 on Mar 13, 2003

I wrote first before reading Phil's post, so let me add more on how to manage this process.

Yes, limit your writing to no more than 8 weeks before your trip.

And second, do not get into a 4-5 message a week situation with any gal when you are doing the WMVM.  Tell them right up front that because of X, Y, or Z, situation that you will only be able to answer their messages on day W of the week.

Use the managerial skills you have, don't just flounder at this.

And I agree with those who use English skills as a screen.  Sure, we hear many stories about those who found success without the English requirement up front.  

But there are hundreds or thousands who don't tell us how they spent several days with a gal only later to find out that they were speaking apples and oranges the entire time (either through an interpreter or via hand signals, etc.) and actually had nothing in common and basically didn't agree on anything once they found out how the gal actually felt about some important issues.  The nice smiles and sex appeal can keep us (and them) entralled for several days until the sheet hits the fan.

JR

[Cold Warrior]

... in response to Through WMVN...how many?!.., posted by Frank O on Mar 12, 2003

1. good knowledge of English, no sense a girl wants to come to the US if she doesn't make an attempt to learn English.I am willing to pay for classes if needed.

2. personal email,or mail forwarding through a reliable agency. if she has a home phone and speaks good English, I would prefer to call than write.

3. location is not an issue if you've got the cash. You can fly her in to Moscow or Kiev for example. if not, stick to girls from the city that you are planning to visit soon.  

4. keeping track - keep separate files according to name,the last thing you want to do is to confuse names and address.

5. use a rating system based on compatibility. put No.1 on your favorite girl's file. Also have a No. 2 and 3 and 4 if things do not go to plan.

lots more I can't think of right now.

my first choice of screening is always knowledge of English and ability to express herself. I think a successful relationship is based first and foremost upon communication.
even if her English is not good you can judge by what she writes and how much about herself she discloses. I prefer women who am, er, - bared her soul and opens her heart- than to someone who limits to just answering questions.

MY personal preferences. FWIW

[DanM]

... in response to Screening, posted by Cold Warrior on Mar 12, 2003

I would like to suggest another point for screening. Its something I have touched on in other threads, but I think its a valid point. Find websites that post the date the girl joined. Then focus most heavily on girls who have joined very recently. Write them a sincere, thoughtful letter and attach a photo. I think you will see a big increase in response rates with this tactic.

[juio99]

... in response to Re: Screening, posted by DanM on Mar 13, 2003

But in the overall scheme of things, how is this useful when the gal may be new to that website but has been on other websites for months, years, etc.

[DanM]

... in response to Re: Re: Screening, posted by juio99 on Mar 13, 2003

I am not offering any guarantees. Of course you will have some of this problem. I am only saying your response rate percentage will go up significantly. Also, if a girl is hitting multiple sites, then whoever is posting will be an interested party. This could be a very persistent girl or maybe even a scammer. Like I said, no guarantees. Just increased probabilities.

[Frank O]

... in response to Screening, posted by Cold Warrior on Mar 12, 2003

I'm on the right track. My criteria & what I'm doing is alost identical. Knowledge of English IS a TOP TOP priority.

[Zoidberg]

... in response to Re: Screening...almost identical..., posted by Frank O on Mar 12, 2003

English was also my #1 priority since I also feel communication is what it is all about. I had no intentions of writing someone that didn't know English. I ended up writing a few girls and one did not know English very well. I wrote her because there was something I liked about her in her profile and photo's. It turns out the one that didn't know English well is the one I want to go see. I stopped writing the others and will visit her soon. The first time we spoke on the phone we could only say hi and bye and that was November I believe. What's ironic is in that short a time, we are able to talk about everything, with no problem and she speaks better then the ones that said they knew English. We used no interpreters in our phone conversations and that really helped her in learning. She was going to school and everytime we talked I could hear the improvement. I am so glad I did not stick 100% to my rules... In love and war there are sometimes no rules...

Z

P.S. And no I am not advocating no rules. It's good to have them but sometimes you have to follow your gut.

[Frank O]

... in response to Rules are for breaking... , posted by Zoidberg on Mar 12, 2003

When I went to go see Marina she told me she did not speak English & we would need an intepretor. When I arrived & got in the cab & saw her for the first time, after I picked up my jaw & tongue from the floorboard of the cab I asked her "how are you?" She answered me in English!! Then we CONTINUED to speak in English. She KNEW it she just didnt feel confortable but she was capable of communicating with it. Now I as them ALL if they speak a little or NONE.

[Zoidberg]

... in response to Some say they don't know but do!...., posted by Frank O on Mar 13, 2003

Exactly... Some may say they know little or none but actually they might know more then they say. My girls profile said she knew very little English. After we spoke, I realized she knew much more then that but was not comfortable. I gave her words of encouragement and that seemed to make her want to learn even more. So do not always go by the profiles. Actually, some of the ones that do say they know only a little English, do not get as much mail. I'll bet there are many gems out there that get very little mail just because of this rule most of us AM have.

Z

[Cold Warrior]

... in response to Rules are for breaking... , posted by Zoidberg on Mar 12, 2003

its all about communication. That 2 persons speak the same language does not necessarily mean that they communicate. That the RW speaks English is a major plus,however like I said in the original post she should be able to bare her soul and speak from the heart,than just limited to answering questions.

[Zoidberg]

... in response to communication......, posted by Cold Warrior on Mar 12, 2003

I understand what you said on the first post and was not criticizing your post. My point was to not look at the rules as 100% set in stone. Go with what you feel sometimes...

And we are both communicating well thank you. When we have had problems understanding we were putting it down on email also so we both understood. You use all the tools available, that's part of communicating also. At the start we used translators. Now she has been able to bare her soul, I won't say it's been without problem but it is getting easier and easier...

Z

[lswote]

... in response to Rules are for breaking... , posted by Zoidberg on Mar 12, 2003

My first trip to Colombia I only interviewed women that spoke English.  I ended up with a gal the wasn't sincere.  My next trip looking I included girls who didn't speak English and ended up meeting my wife.  She was the last date on my last day and we had a chemistry and understanding I wouldn't have believed if I hadn't seen it for myself.  We have problems with details, but otherwise have no problems communicating.

[Philb]

... in response to Through WMVN...how many?!.., posted by Frank O on Mar 12, 2003

Writing more then a couple can almost get to be a full time job.  I was writing 5 of whom 4 had internet access through their jobs etc..  Those 4 would send me 4 or 5 letters each per week.  I could keep up for a while but not for several months.  I was relieved to narrow it down to the one I am going to visit.

I think if I were to use the wmvm approach, I personally would not start this longer then 2 or 3 months prior to my departure dates.

As a side note, Monday evening I did something I had never done before which bordered on the catastrophic (and stupid). The girl I am leaving to see on Thursday and the girl I had visited in Russia last year both are named Tanya.

Anyway I received a request for some information from the old Tanya and inadvertantly sent it to the new Tanya.  Fortunately the note was completely innocuous and was a reply that could have been written to anyone.  I caught it immediately and sent new Tanya a note telling her I had accidentally sent a reply to a friend to her instead.  All this 3 days before I was to leave to meet her.

Something else kind of interesting  I started writing to these women in October/November.  There were a couple who I exchanged letters with for a bit and then never heard from them again.  I had mentioned that I was planning to visit Ukraine in April.  Low and behold I have started recieving letters from some of these girls again.  Also, one of the women I had been writing to in Kiev and whom I had ended correspondence with a couple of weeks ago, wrote me a letter telling me that she would be happy to show me around Kiev during my lay over there.  She also sent me some info on a hotel for a very reasonable price.  The hotel is run by her church and is basically used by visiting missionaries and the like.  She did this knowing i was going there to see another woman, said she was doing this as a friend.

Phil, who is leaving for Ukraine tomorrow and won't be back until April 8.