Bought tickets for May! WOO HOO!!! :)

[Zoidberg]

Well guys I am headed to Dnepropetrovsk in May for 3 weeks. I bought my tickets yesterday so it is set... I will call her in a few hours for Valentines Day and tell her I have the tickets! With all the talk about WOVO and WMVM I just wanted to add my penny's worth...

I started writing this girl back in Sep and I wrote a few others at the same time. Within two months I was only writing this one girl. So I guess I am a slight variation of WOVO... I agree with most of the posts about this, it is whatever YOU are comfortable with. You can't do something you are not comfortable with.... If I were to give any advise, that would be to be honest...not just to her but to yourself. I was telling her everything from the start. It took awhile but after a couple months she also really opened up to me even more then I was hoping for. We are already good friends and can talk about anything. When we meet it will be even more special since we already care about each other. We both know that things can go south in a hurry after we meet but it is doubtful... Good to be prepared though and even if it does not work out for us the trip to me would not be a failure. The only failure would be if I never went...

It's funny how things work. I wasn't sure about doing this again. I did it years ago and after it didn't work out I tried to find a nice American girl but I kept comparing them to the Ukrainian girl I met before... No comparisons so I have been looking at picture after picture of these beautiful women for a couple years and FINALLY decided what the heck...

Z

[Frank O]

... in response to Bought tickets for May! WOO HOO!!! , posted by Zoidberg on Feb 13, 2003

I did the same thing. I started writing several girls then narrowed it down to "the one". She was perfect in her letters & I called her once a week. We corresponde for 11 months & I went in November which would be 1 year of correspondence. In person she was just like in her letters. I also was VERY upfront about everything. I went for 2 weeks. I saw her 4 days then she "disappeared". Supposedly she got beat up by an "ex" boyfriend. I don't know I think it was a boyfriend period! Anyways 1 year down the drain. However I had a lot of women who wanted to go out with me & I went out with 5 others. Jack from First Dream even got me hooked up to where I met 2 other right before leaving. 1 of which I plan on seeing on my next trip back.
I hope you fare better than I but I hope you have a backup plan. People told me about seeing one & then having no chemistry in person. However in my case there WAS chemistry then something out of left field pops up. Very weird. I don't know perhaps I was scammed however since there was no money involved I don't know how. I did lose out on one year though. Good luck.

[thesearch]

... in response to did the same thing did NOT work out..., posted by Frank O on Feb 13, 2003

Frank,

I am not saying that the following scenario is pertinent to your case. However it is in the realm of possibilities.

First of all, scamming seems to be ruled out as your lady has to try and extract something, money, green card etc what ever. From your story, that is not the case.

Since guys tend to correspond with women who are much better looking than what they can attract in their back yard, my take is that there is a greater chance that the lady is not going feel the chemistry as often as the guy is going to feel the chemistry.

[Zink]

... in response to my take on this, posted by thesearch on Feb 14, 2003

I don't know about other guys but it's pretty easy for a youngster like myself to find chemistry. An average girl in Russia usually has the kind of body that men dream about. A good looking Russian could drive me crazy. But the affection has to be returned. Too many of the stories of failed realtionships that I hear say," I was crazy about her but she was cool towards me". I've had it happen to me. Now I want a woman who wants me as bad as I do her. It hurts when they walk out on you but you need to remember that you're better off without her if she feels that way.

[Frank O]

... in response to Chemistry!, posted by Zink on Feb 14, 2003

Actually when we first met in person I was surprised she was MORE beautiful than her pics which I didn't think at all possible. HOWEVER I didn't think it was going to work out. Even though she was so beautiful I felt like there was something lacking in her. We hung out & had a great time but it was like friends sort of. I had given myself 3 days to see if it would work then I would bail out & seek others or come back. Well it wasn't till the 3rd day that I started thinking it could work out. Meanwhile she was very happy. So it was sort of backwards there. SHe even told me "you are exactly like I thought you would be". I told her I was not all that in person but she thought I was great. Fine no prob. Things were going good after that till the dude popped up. Oh well. I wish he'd come after me instead of her. Oh well, no sense in crying after spilt milk.
I also don't understand how many men will TRY to "make" chemistry or try to convince THEMSELVES that things can be worked out. If it doesn't appear right off the bat cut your losses. How many have we heard that try to hang on & make it work when there are red flags everywhere. In my case I didn't see any. Even a close friend of mine who I had shared her letters agreed there was no sign. I don't believe I was scammed like I've said it just didn't work out. But never in any case did I assume things were not as they appeared. Perhaps I was TOO cautious if that is at all possible.

[thesearch]

... in response to Chemistry!, posted by Zink on Feb 14, 2003

s

[Pordzhik]

... in response to did the same thing did NOT work out..., posted by Frank O on Feb 13, 2003

She had a boyfriend pop up out of "left field" (wherever that is!). Was you upfront with her about those Mexican chicks you were chasing during those 11 months? Seems to me you were both playing the same game, and you shouldn't be moaning about the wasted year.

I don't think waiting a year to travel helped any, once you've made the connection with a woman (how long did that take?)why wait so long? Action speaks louder than a thousand Emails with these women.

[Frank O]

... in response to Upfront with her? Then I'm not surprised, posted by Pordzhik on Feb 14, 2003

Actually I was always VERY upfront with her. As for my delay on my trip she waited for me & I kept her abreast of my reasons for the delay. Then SHE told me to wait as she went out of the country for a while with her parents. In any case I still go out with Mexican ladies. I just had one take me out last Sunday. Hey, I'm never short on women it's just most aren't the ones I'd settle down with. I also don't lead them on.

[Zoidberg]

... in response to did the same thing did NOT work out..., posted by Frank O on Feb 13, 2003

I am sorry to hear about your experience Frank... I know it is a big possibllity the same thing can happen to me. I am going into this knowing that no matter how perfect it seems, it may not be... And this is only the start. Even if it works out good, on this trip, are we going to be able to wait the time that it takes now for the K-1 to be processed? If it takes 6 months, great but what if it's a year? Will she wait? Will I wait? I can't tell you what will happen then or on my trip... All I can say is we like each other now and we'll see when we meet... I came into this prepared to go back a few times if needed... So this is just the start. I hope it works out as I like this girl but we are two people that live thousands of miles from each other.... we grew up completely different.... we speak different languages... we might be in love even though we never met... we will try to decide our future on meeting for 3 weeks... How could it fail?

Z

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: did the same thing did NOT work out...., posted by Zoidberg on Feb 14, 2003

When I went we both had discussed the idea that it might not work out. I also told her about my 3 day limit. She said fine. Anyways the weird thing is we both agreed at that time to continue. THen at the 5th day this guy pops out. Anyways I don't mean to discourage you. The good thing is you've thought about it & are aware of what CAN happen. I did NOT expect what happened to me. You see if she would have said no I could have dealt with that. If I would have felt it was working out (Like on the second day) & had called it off fine. But when we BOTH agreed to proceed...well it changes things then. Just be positive & go with the flow.

[Zoidberg]

... in response to I didn't mean to discourage you..., posted by Frank O on Feb 15, 2003

You didn't discourage me at all... I am aware things can go wrong after we meet. What happened to you though just sucks and something you couldn't have predicted... I hope you have better success next time..

Z

[Philb]

... in response to Re: did the same thing did NOT work out...., posted by Zoidberg on Feb 14, 2003

[This message has been edited by Philb]

As I said in my post below I have made 4 trips to Russia and am going to Ukraine in March.  Three of the trips to Russia were to see the same woman.  These trips have occured over about a two year period.  I am no closer now to getting married then when I started.  Do I feel that I have wasted my time? Not at all.  Even if my fifth trip is *unsuccessful* I doubt I will feel as if I have wasted my time.  I have enjoyed every trip.

So I say go meet one, a few, or many.  Enjoy yourself.  See an area of the world you haven't seen before. Meet someone new. Be an Ambassador for your country. Promote world peace.

Marriage may be the *ultimate goal* in all of this, but there are also many other things that can be accomplished and learned through this process.

[Frank O]

... in response to Marriage or not this is never time missp..., posted by Philb on Feb 14, 2003

What I meant about wasted time is I stopped writing other ladies in Ukraine during that year. I could have been writing other ladies & seen them while over there. I didn't & only intende to see her. However when things went sour I didn't waste any time. I had no shortage of woment there 1 of which I still write to & will be seeing again when I visit Lugansk. You have to roll with the punches & go one. I sure did. I'm in it for the long haul.

[Jski]

... in response to Re: did the same thing did NOT work out...., posted by Zoidberg on Feb 14, 2003

n/t

[Zoidberg]

... in response to Re: Good Luck Zoid, give us a Trip repor..., posted by Jski on Feb 14, 2003

n/t