I have done a lot of research and have asked many questions reference the way a RW/UW raise there kids. It is much different than we do in America, our American kids are spoiled, they have tons of toys and we often buy there affection. RW/UW can't do this, it seems to me there is true affection in the RW/UW home, and this started centuries ago, and has not changed very much.

I have learned and understand the RW/UW raise there kids like our parents of the 30's 40' and 50's raise us, but in today's society our kids are out-spoken, and some have manners of a rock.

So how did/do you married guys work with your RW/UW to overcome the difference in cultures and kids? It seems to me that the kids can make or break a good relationship that you may have with your RW/UW..

What are the expectations of your RW/UW? Did you talk about this before, or after she arrived?

And what did talk about, did it work or did you adjust to each situation?

I would like to hear all that have married or going to marry a RW/UW and find out what your/her expectations are set at.

Thanks,

TomTx

Tanya's daughter (9 year old) would tell her mother, grandparents, etc. no, refuse to do what she was asked, argue etc..  The adults just seemed to let this behavior go.  This was not done just to avoid a scene in my presence either.  Here is an example.  Shortly before our relationship ended I sent Marina (daughter) some birthday gifts.  While the gifts were still in the mail I spoke to Tanya on the phone.  During our conversation she told me that Marina was having trouble in school because she was not doing her home work.  I told Tanya to not give Marina her gifts until Marina had gotten caught up in school and was doing her home work.  I even offered to tell Marina this myself.  Tanya's response was "Oh no, I can't do this Marina would be angry".  This was a fairly typical response to these sort of situations from all of the adults (Grandparents, Aunts, Cousins).

I agree that the Russian home appears to be more openly affectionate then many American homes and your observations in regards to material possessions is in general very accurate.  Also, my experience only involves one family so it may not be typical.

It is just my 2 cents.

1)  Generally, the children learn English very rapidly.
2)  Russian children are generally well-behaved.  However, they tend to be quiet in public, particularly around adults.
3)  I disagree with your view that Russian children are  less materialistic because they are not "spoiled".  Believe me, once they're here, they will want all of the same things American children want - designer clothes, video games, etc....
4)  Bringing a teenage child - boy or girl - from the FSU will present difficulties and challenges.  It is the ONLY  difficult thing I have faced in my otherwise wonderful and fantastic marriage.   I have a laundry list of other families with similar situations.  

There are many things that go into evaluating a potential RW, and children is a very important one.  Generally, the younger the children, the easier the adjustment and less problems, assuming both parents/steparents are motivated to help the children.  I highly recommend that you meet the child before making any final decisions, and have a clear game plan as to how to assist the child, as well as your new wife, with adjustment to life in America.

Charles since Mark knows me a little better I will explain. My lady will be here in June, she has a little boy he is 8, and his name is also Stas like Mark's new son. I have met Stas twice, so we have a total time of about 3 weeks together. And he was very well behaved, a little jealous at times of me, but I just made sure that I paid him just as much attention to him as I did his mother, and she got a little jealous. I think this will be just a matter of time before all is comfortable and they both feel secure.

Charles like Mark was, I am a single dad also my boy is also 8 going on 20 if you know what I mean, I am sure Mark understand this. Yes Mark I agree I think Stas will take direction better than my son; my son is kind of argumentive at times, and since I live in the country I can hang HIGH from a tree, (JUST KIDDING).

Thanks for the input guys, I am just searching for all information so I can make sure that I have 3rd base and home plate covered and be prepared as much as possible. I am working on my sons adjustment to the new family at this point, talking, explaining and having him participate in the planning, he is very excited.

Thanks again,
TomTx