Someone recently wrote me offline because they read a post of mine in the archives in which I stated I would definitely be getting a prenup.
They wanted to know if I did, and if so, how to go about doing it.
OK... first the disclaimer. I am NOT an attorney. What I am about to say does not in ANY way constitute legal advice. And even if it is accurate for Texas it wouldn't necessarily apply for your state.
So, by all means, talk to your attorney.
I sat down with a friend of mine who is an attorney, and this is what he told me. It made sense to me, and it changed my mind about a prenup, so I never got one.
Basically, he told me two things:
One, he had never seen a prenup that he couldn't break, and two, I didn't need one in the state of Texas.
As to the first, his point was that although you CAN write a prenup which can withstand an assault, you can't STOP an assault from being waged. If your wife wants to fight the prenup, then she can make it too expensive for you to try to fend her off, and you end up settling it anyway. It costs a LOT less to start a lawsuit than to defend one. Especially when the end result of the lawsuit is that you break even. It's different when you can counter sue, so if you win you can recoup some costs. But usually in those situations, your wife is pretty broke, her attorney is working on a contingency fee, so you can't win anything except the right to say "I don't owe you anything." If it costs you $10,000 to win that right... aren't you better off giving her nine to go away? (And, of course those numbers change depending on your situation.)
Also, in order to engage in a contract, you have to be deemed legally competent. That includes language. So, if you want to really cover yourself, you not only need to have it translated, you need to pay a Russian speaking attorney to operate on her behalf, explain everything to her, and make sure she understands it. This means that he very well might want to change your prenup for the benefit of his client (your fiancé). So now you have two attorneys jockeying for their clients -- and you are paying for BOTH of them.
When all of this was explained to me, I backed down from it.
Also, Texas is a pretty good state for men. There is no alimony, and we are a common property state. The way it was explained to me, she gets half of whatever we build together, but is not entitled to anything that I had prior to her coming here. Which is actually all I wanted from a prenup, anyway.
So... If you want a little piece of paper that you can wave and say you are protected, I think that a prenup drawn up here, translated by a certified translator, and signed by your fiancé would be sufficient.
But remember, your translator is not an attorney.
If things go south and your wife gets an attorney, it won't protect you at all.
If you want to really protect yourself, you need to get an attorney for you and one for her -- BOTH over there. If you wait until she gets here, and use the 90 days to sign a prenup, she can later claim that she signed it under duress. "I had to sign it or he was going to send me home."
For me, it wasn't worth it. I've been through two divorces, and lost almost a million in tech stocks when the dot com turned dot bomb, so there isn't much left for me to worry about... just the stuff that my wife and I are building together now.
But again, if anyone has any questions, they should ask an attorney they can trust.
