You need to be a wealthy man...

[Horoshij]

Well if not a wealthy man at least a well off man. I've read what you maried guys are doing and have done for your wives, several trips over to Russia, paying for a lots of addresses and more to Jack or other agencies owners (How much did you pay Oscar for meeting tons of women?), paying for her to come to you, then you have a new family both with you and back in Russia. You will need to pay for phone calls, presents, support your family in law, pay for your wife when she goes back home. Last, but not least, you'll need to offer her a decent place to live. You know, everybody has high expectations when they marry an American man.

It looks to me that you will need a lot of money to pursue this endeavour. What do you think guys. What advice should we give the newbies, how much money should he be ready to spend, and how well off should he be not to disappoint his bride when she arrives in his home?
Is this enterprise for everybody or only for well off men?

Haroshij

[wsbill]

... in response to You need to be a wealthy man..., posted by Horoshij on Jan 11, 2003

Any dude in the middle of a russian winter probably looks pretty good.  Especially if he finds just a nice average girl who's future looks pretty bleak in some remote town in the middle of no where in Eastern Europe.

Sure they've got standards.  They'd like to have indoor plumbing in the winter time and air conditioning in the summer.

http://www.geocities.com/eewife

Take a look at Kremuchunk photos of their recent snow fall...it's like brrrr....cold out.

[tim360z]

... in response to You need to be a wealthy man..., posted by Horoshij on Jan 11, 2003

In costs...of anything,  there is the short term cost and the long term cost.  In this little pursuit,  your short term,  up-front cost will be more expensive.  Not alot you can really do about these if you want to swim in those waters.  For the average guy (not wealthy) the initial outlay can quickly add up and even be discouraging.  Things such as addresses and phone calls and travel and lodging etc can become a formidable initial cost.  Then, her visa a plane tickets etc can add up.  Certainly more expensive and frustrating than dating the girl down the street,  although some girls down the street can be pricey in other ways as Ken C mentioned.

However,  I beleive,  if you choose wisely---in the long term (like 10 years) the costs will all average out and your initial outlay will be defrayed in time because you married a very practical and beautiful Russian girl.  In the final analysis,  marriage and women do cost money.  Like the old addage,  "You can pay now...or you can pay more, later."  My 0.02 on this whole money thing,  of course grasshopper...one must choose wisely.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Costs Defined, posted by tim360z on Jan 13, 2003

n/t

[MarkInTx]

... in response to You need to be a wealthy man..., posted by Horoshij on Jan 11, 2003


The search costs money, let's face it. Plane trips, hotels, visas... someone who is struggling to get by can't do it.

But how do you define "wealthy?"

[MarkInTx]

... in response to You need to be a wealthy man..., posted by Horoshij on Jan 11, 2003


The search costs money, let's face it. Plane trips, hotels, visas... someone who is struggling to get by can't do it.

But how do you define "wealthy?"

[Horoshij]

... in response to Depends... what is your definition of we..., posted by MarkInTx on Jan 13, 2003

Well, it was more like a question from me and I modified to be well off. This is my definition off being well off:
well'-off'  adj.
                 1.  well-to-do; prosperous.
                 2.  in a satisfactory, favorable, or good
                      position or condition.

and being wealthy:
wealth-y (wel'thee)  adj.
                 1.  having great wealth; rich; affluent.
                 2.  of, marked by, or suggesting wealth:
                      wealthy furnishings.
                 3.  rich in something stated or implied;
                      abundant or ample.

Haroshij

[KenC]

... in response to You need to be a wealthy man..., posted by Horoshij on Jan 11, 2003

Haroshij,
I think you put too much emphasis on the extra costs after marriage to a RW.  ANY woman you marry will be an extra expense.  If you are too frugal to accept this, stay single.  There are "different" costs involved in pursuing a RW other than a local one, but I don't know if I would say it is higher.  The travel costs of course are higher, but I dated a few "high maintenance" local women that burned quite a bit of my cash.  When you take into consideration the high cost of wine-ing and dining, concert/play ticket cost and an occasional weekend get away, I don't know if there is any cost difference.  Of course there are no guarantees in either pursuite.  You may make many trips (or date many women locally) and come up empty in the end.  Or os it really "empty" not to be married to the wrong woman?  Any attempt to equate affairs of the heart to your pocketbook will come up short.  There is no way to compute this.  You could meet your true love at a grocery store on a chance encounter or on your first trip to the FSU or never.  There are no rules.
KenC

[juio99]

... in response to or lucky, posted by KenC on Jan 12, 2003

Ken, I think you and others are continuing to misinterpret Haroshij.  He is not talking about being frugal.  He is telling and asking about the 'marginal' costs of marrying and staying married to a RW vs a home country gal.

We all know that on boards such as this, both the married guys and the looking guys idealize and fanticise about the RW, make things look better than they really are, etc., except for the rare case when we hear the horror story.  And then when the horror story appears, the bulk of posters rush to state how it is really the fault of the man.

It just defies logic to think that it will not be much more expensive to pursue, marry and maintain a RW, all other things being equal.  All the talk about expensive outings and dinners for AW equalling the costs of overseas travel.  This is all presuming the RW will never get to experience these things when she is married to AM and living here.

I don't think we have seen a full accounting of the costs of supporting the extended family of the RW for the average case.  Just look at the paucity of postings below under my question and compare to posting under your phone question.  And look at the wording of some of those who did post.  They are very defensive about this issue and refuse to answer.  Rather than answer, the easy thing is to talk about how love cannot be measured in dollars, etc.  Similar to politicians waving the flag, talking about mom and apple pie, etc.  All of this is a great disservice to newbies.

JR

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: or lucky, posted by juio99 on Jan 13, 2003

"It just defies logic to think that it will not be much more expensive to pursue, marry and maintain a RW, all other things being equal"

First of all, all things are NOT equal, or we wouldn't be looking in a foreign land to begin with.

Secondly, although the pursuit is PERHAPS more expensive, I'm not sure why you think it is more expensive to "maintain" an RW. (Gosh I hate to think of what that even means!)

Do you mean the weekly calls home?

Hell, my phone bills are NOTHING compared to when my ex-wife used to call home to Pittsburgh every weekend. THAT was expensive, because she would talk for hours. Kherson for an hour a week is cheap compared to that.

What else does one need to "maintain" an RW? And how is that different? More make-up? Buying fresh vegetables instead of frozen? What is the "cost" of maintenance? I'm not sure what costs you are referring to.

Maybe I am blase to the costs because I can afford it. I don't know. But I am pretty damn sure I am SAVING money now as opposed to what I was spending when I was single. (And that is WITH the added make-up and lingerie costs :-)

And, please don't dismiss the costs of the girl up the road. When I was dating AWs, I was spending over $100 a week. Victoria would let me have it if I spent that much on her. Part of the reason I was able to go to Kiev to meet her was that I swore off dating AWs, and saved the money every week. It was AMAZING how fast I could afford the trip then.

So... YES! I agree, any man interested in this should count the costs. Of course! And the Visa process IS expensive. If a man is struggling to get by, he shoudl forget about this. It DOES cost money. Absolutely.

I just disagree with the concept that once the RW is here she somehow ends up costing more.

I don't see that... I really don't...

[Pordzhik]

... in response to Re: or lucky, posted by juio99 on Jan 13, 2003

and makes your choice.

Before courting my wife, I had spent a lot of my money on holidays and travel to Western Europe, something I now don't have the time, inclination or money for, what with all the trips to Kiev we do now. It's a trade off. Spend your money on whats important for you.

Apart from the early days when I financed everything (all the trips, visa, new cloths etc.) My wife now takes care of the additional costs herself and helps a little with the household bills.

My wife displays a frugality when shopping, she's not cheap, just careful, she has changed my eating habits (the food bill in this household is now about £10-£15 pw less than when I was single, and eating better for it as well.

The gas and electicity charges are less now than before, cheap enough here anyway, it is she who is careful with the thermostats and timers.

Other habits have changed too, whereas before I would think nothing of spending £100 or more on a night out, she would rather we take a drive to the seaside and walk on the pier with a picnic. (which brings me to my next post)

[KenC]

... in response to Re: or lucky, posted by juio99 on Jan 13, 2003

JR,
I answered your posted questions regarding additional costs after marriage with "nothing out of the ordinary" and I meant it.  Of course there will be addtional travel expenses for the trips back home, but this is easily offset by the ingrained frugality of my wife's shopping habits.  My exwife could easily hurt my budget (greater than a cost of a ticket) with one or two trips to the mall.  This is not to say that my current wife has cheap taste either.  She just shops better (looking for deals) and makes far less purchases.  My in laws have great pride and good jobs so they have not been a financial burden in anyway.  Like I said in my previous post, if you want to truly save money, stay single.
-
As far as the costs involved with finding the right woman, it is a bit harder to judge.  Just how lucky will one be is not known.  I am not even considering the guy that picks one gal out a group of strangers and hopes that it work.  If that guy were included the "low end" could be $1,500 or so.  The high end has no limit.  Like in life there are no guarantees.  Oscar made many trips, met many women and spent a lot of money.  The truth is that all that didn't guarantee that he would meet right the woman for him.  He could have just spun his wheels and not found Miss Right.  Even now, there is no guarantee that he has, although it sounds very promising.  Or we could look at StanB, who made one trip and by luck was introduced to his current wife. (They appear to be very happily married)  Quasimoto has burned $25k, even got married over there, but still is alone today.  There is no tangible connection between your pocketbook and finding true love.  None.
KenC

[Oscar]

... in response to balongna, posted by KenC on Jan 13, 2003

Actually Ken, I would say that for 4 trips, I didn't spend much at all..  I did go through Lifetime Partners for one trip, as you did, so you know what their costs are. Nothing compared to one of the big tour groups.  The last 2 trips I did on my own and they were quite inexpensive comparatively, with flats often $25-$40 per night and having met most of the women on my own or $10 for phone numbers from agencies there...  I am definitely a believer in the go it on your own route.  It really doesn't have to be that expensive..

[Horoshij]

... in response to or lucky, posted by KenC on Jan 12, 2003

n/t

[KenC]

... in response to Yes, you can be lucky. Look at the post ..., posted by Horoshij on Jan 12, 2003

Horoshij,
Again, I do not think this is a project that you can throw maney at and be assured of success.  I probably spent a total of $5,000 before I brought my wife here.  And I had dealings with a rather expensive agency which had very little to do with our being together.  The best thing they did was put both of us in a position to meet each other.  Fate has run it's course and we are closing in on our fourth anniversary.  I see guys post here that this is a numbers game and it is.  But there are no guarantees that you will find the right woman for you in X, Y or Z amount of women you meet, it really is up to fate.  You can do everything "right" and still not succeed or everything "wrong" and marry the woman of your dreams.  We have a saying here, "I would rather be luccky than good".
KenC