interesting event

[Jack]

Whenever something interesting, or unusal, happens I like to share with you guys who are looking in the event it might help someone.

I don't know if this issue has been raised before, probably has and I just don't re-call, but it's an issue about photographs.

Many of you are probably aware that some of the photos we see of ladies may be a few years old. And I hope most of you realize that when we see those women in those beautiful glamour photos, that's probably about the best she is ever going to look, not always, but for most these ladies it will be true. Many guys, myself included, fall for this certain image. But when we see this lady some 2, 3 months later, she doesn't look nearly as good as that photo we saw her (again not always, but a lot of the times).

Well, sometimes guys are guilty of this. Sometimes guys will send photos of themselves a few years old (some, shame on you, five years old). Some guys may have been 30 pounds lighter in the two year old photo he sends.

So today we have a client in Sochi. He has a 1pm meeting at an outside cafe over looking the Black Sea. He get's there at 12:45 and waits. And waits. And he waits. Finally, after 1 and a half hours after they were to meet, he leaves, calls our Sochi manager and tells of what happened. Natalia is surprised! She talked with this lady personally, she was very excited to meet him! Natalia calls this lady, no one answers. She calls and calls and finally the lady answered and Natlaia asked why she didn't show up and the lady replied she had. She was there, she had seen the man and he looked nothing like the photos he had been sending her, she was scared she said and so she left.

Why did this happen? Why did this man wait for 90 minutes and still not meet this lady? Why did this lady decide not to meet this man?

Was it right for her not to meet him? Of course not, I wish she would have met him just so he would not have wasted an hour and a half. But why did this happen?

My suggestion guys, send the best current photos of yourself you can. You are going a long ways to meet ladies, you are spending some big bucks and you are investing a lot of your time and heart. Let her see who you are today, not who you were two years ago.

[KenC]

... in response to interesting event, posted by Jack on Oct 1, 2002

Jack,
The flipside to scammers is AM that choose to sell RW a "bill of goods" about who they really are.  Of course, financial misinformation is the obvious no no.  But I think social misinformation is just as bad.  I have seen guys go to Russia and act like "Mr. Party Animal" only to bring her here to a very sedate lifestyle.  Some of this is unavoidable as most of us have a vacation attitude when we go over, but honesty is best in these cases.
KenC

[Jack]

... in response to "be yourself", posted by KenC on Oct 2, 2002

Guys HAVE to be themselves!!  This is your future lifetime partner that you are looking for!

For what's it's worth to you guys who are actively in the pursuit, you must be yourself when you are around these ladies.

You need to send several, accurate photos of yourself. There is nothing wrong with trying to use your best 'current' photos, but you may very well be wasting your time by using old photos with sincere ladies. The scammers could care less as to what photos you use, as many could care less about your appearance, age or shape, but for the real ladies you are flirting with potential disaster by not representing yourself as truthful as possiable.

[John F]

... in response to interesting event, posted by Jack on Oct 1, 2002

As with many AM/RW couples, my wife and I have made friends with other AM/RW couples.  One of our friends has broken up, and the lady will undoubtedly be labeled a runner.  What happened?  This...

The guy went to Russia and swept the lady off her feet.  He rented a mountain cottage to treat her family to a vacation.  He took them all to expensive restaurants, He treated them all to wine tasteing events.  He left big bucks behind to ensure her family could manage without her..... and he did it all on credit card.  When she arrived here she found a life not too much better than the one she left.  And she had to work, not to provide for a more lavish lifestyle, but to help make ends meet and pay off the credit card.  Now, given the situation what would you have done if you were this lady?

[Frank O]

... in response to While we're near the subject ......, posted by John F on Oct 1, 2002

I get sick & tired of reading about guys who are so desperate to find a wife they have to resort to lying & misrepresenting themselves. Look man This is who I am take me or leave me is my motto. I'm not a millionaire heck I'm a dang musician which is enough to scare most women off! LOL!!! I mean if I were a dr or an atty it would be different. Having said that I own 2 homes & my car. I get to do what I love for a living. I don't blame the lady for leaving back to. Also regarding girls on the scam lists I think a lot are just girls who said NO to men that misrepresente themselves & the guys got pissed & decided to blackball the ladies. Oh well.  I just don't think a lot of MEN are very sincere honestly.

[BarryM]

... in response to While we're near the subject ......, posted by John F on Oct 1, 2002

Look, the economy is bad. Financial difficulties these days are common. From the slant you're putting on the story, this guy completely deceived his wife and her family. People with good jobs often take on debt. Now if this guy lost his job because of the economy, it's certainly not his fault that his lifestyle has diminished significantly. People who were making 200k in 2000 and are now laid off have lost their homes, their retirement, all of their savings, and are now completely insolvent.

So which is it?

I'd say there's a good chance that RW is committing visa fraud and should be booted out of the country.

John, since you're in IT, you know how screwed things are. You or anyone else in IT could lose their job tomorrow and be replaced by someone at half the rate. It's been happening for the last 2 years.

-blm

[John F]

... in response to Not enough information in your post to c..., posted by BarryM on Oct 1, 2002

Barry, I think the guy misrepresented himself.  Yes, he was affected by the economic downswing, but he was only mid-middle income at best before and when I first met him he told me himself how he had really put on a show.  Believe me nothing I ever did in Ukraine nor nothing I have ever seen posted here comes close.

I'm not on the lady's side, either.  I think there are issues on both sides. But the guy should not have pretended to be Bill Gates if he couldn't sustain that image at home.

The lady already has her 10 year green card so I don't think deportation is a concern to her.

[BarryM]

... in response to Re: Not enough information in your post ..., posted by John F on Oct 2, 2002

IF she put up him for more than 2 years knowing the situation and with the full intent of divorcing him when her residency was secure, then she's a fraud. The issue is money, not love.

-blm

[Alfred]

... in response to The green card says it all..., posted by BarryM on Oct 2, 2002

It's very hard to judge someone else's intentions from a distance.  All we can judge by are appearances - and both of them can be viewed in a bad light should you choice: He for charging up a storm to impress her and her for leaving after getting the green card.

There's an old saying: there is her side,  his side and what really happened.

~Alf

[tfcrew]

... in response to While we're near the subject ......, posted by John F on Oct 1, 2002

Someone wouldn't just shine off on that credit card.
Of course forget Mastercarding more airline tickets!

[Frank O]

... in response to interesting event, posted by Jack on Oct 1, 2002

Good advice. When I started writing my lady I put all my "negatives" on my letter, I'm divorced, I'm a musician (LOL!), I'm' not very attractive (so I think) etc. Then I put my positives, I own my own home, I own my car, I'm faithful, no children etc. I also sent pics where I thought I looked good & some NOT SO FLATTERING for the above mentioned reason. I figure WHOEVER IS LEFT WRITING IS REALLY INTERESTED! Well I'll be meeting her in 37 days so I'll see if there is a spark in person just as in our letters & phone converstaions. Good post!

[Alfred]

... in response to interesting event, posted by Jack on Oct 1, 2002

How current is current enough? A year? 6 months?

I also suppose that it also depends upon how drastically one has changed since the last photo was taken.

[tfcrew]

... in response to Re: interesting event, posted by Alfred on Oct 1, 2002

My wife just said I look better now than my profile picture that she first saw. I guess it helps to cut out on the beer