Forget about Moscow lady post below...

[Dan]

... in response to It does, but then again it doesn't, posted by Griffin on Sep 19, 2002

The issue is not about RW or UW or AW or MW (Martian women) - it is about associating with quality people - period.

Olya has several extraordinary RW that she has met here in the Denver area and that are great friends of hers (and mine). 2 are married to RM, 1 is married to an AM, and another is now divorced from an AM.

Olya and I both know the ladies and their spouses and are friends - at some level - with all of them. As a consequence, I know them well enough that I feel they are 'quality' people and have no compunction whatsoever about her spending time with them. In fact, I encourage it.

We also have couples-friends that are AM/AW combination - and they are just as close to us as the others. The key is associating with people who are optimistic and jovial and fun to be around. The kinds of people that are not inclined to be 'crying over spilled milk' or bemoaning the cultural differences lost.

Just as a prime example - while we live in Denver and KenC and Lena live in San Diego - if we were ever to move to that part of the country - I have no doubt that we all would spend a fair amount of time together. It is all about identifying and associating with people of good character.

Just a clarification - FWIW.

- Dan

[Jack]

... in response to It does, but then again it doesn't, posted by Griffin on Sep 19, 2002


This says it all Griffin,.......

......."Finally, IMHO, you have to have been lucky enough to find a woman who shares your commitment to make your marriage work for a lifetime".

There is certaintly luck involved with this pursuit but to a degree we can all make our own luck, even if it is only a little.

By throwing a wide net helps, taking one's time, educating one's self are a few things that I feel must be done. But the last thing I mentioned, "Educating one's self to all aspects of this pursuit" is the one most important bit of advice I could offer anyone. Education is the key!

[Dan]

... in response to Forget about Moscow lady post below..., posted by Stevo on Sep 19, 2002

To more than just friendships your UW makes. It is true for just about any situation (children), including your own.

The people we choose as friends tells an enormous amount about 'who' we are - and has tremendous influence on behaviors.

Choose wisely. Good advice.

- Dan

[KenC]

... in response to Forget about Moscow lady post below..., posted by Stevo on Sep 19, 2002

Stevo,
My experience has been the same as your's when it comes to other FSU women here that have befriended my wife.  The vast majority assume that our marriage is a shame and try their best to convince Lena into the bad moves you mentioned.
KenC

[Pordzhik]

... in response to my experience the same, posted by KenC on Sep 19, 2002

xscd

[KenC]

... in response to How did you deal with it? n/t, posted by Pordzhik on Sep 19, 2002

Pordzhik,
You don't deal with it, she does.  Your wife will have her own "moral compass" and she will make her own decisions.  I have no fears in this area.  
KenC

[thesearch]

... in response to Re: How did you deal with it? n/t, posted by KenC on Sep 19, 2002

You had mentioned before that a decent portion of the couples that you and Lena met that were AM/FSU marriages were in trouble or headed for such. I got the impression that the troubled marriages outnumbered the happy ones. Is that correct?

[KenC]

... in response to Question for you Ken, posted by thesearch on Sep 19, 2002

Greg,
From the couples I have actually met, yes.
KenC