Welcome Optknrv,
You have asked a very good question and I will give you my thoughts on the two, ....should you buy addresses or should you run a personal ad? As well as that nagging question, "what is an agency"? {warning, longer than a Squirecam trip report, but quicker}
And as you are new here Optknrv, let me say we are really a pretty good bunch. You can learn lot here and will learn even more if you ignore some, not all because you can learn from many, of the fights that we have each week. Even with our fights you will see that this is the best Russian discussion board in the world, no doubt due to the time and attention given to the site by the site owner, a guy named Pete, ....or was it Paul? ............or Pierre, anyway, it is easy to get confused around here, and don't be afraid to ask any questions. If it is a dumb question, wsbill will let you know. Now Optknrv, sometimes even I get confused with things I read on this board, and I have been reading things on here for over 6-months! In addition, as you are a newby, I'll take a little time in explaining how both process's (buying addresses and doing personal ads) are beneficial and can be incorporated into a trip, such as one I had.
The simplest way to answer your question 'buy addressee or do personal ads' would be to say you could do both. Sure, you are going to buy addresses, I would venture to say over 90% of the guys in this pursuit are going to buy some addresses. There is nothing wrong with buying addresses, but be smart about it. Know who you are buying from. Have some confidence in the agency that you are dealing with. Check for references and have the agency you are thinking about doing business with give you some references and then YOU need to call these references. Be selective as to what you have agencies do for you. Use multiple agencies. What you do not want to do is to have any agency that is in the middle of you trying to communicate with one of it's ladies. Get the agency out of the middle. You need to communicate with this woman independently of the agency she is affiliated with. If you cannot, first try to get the ladies home address and phone number and communicate with her directly and ask her to send her replies to you from an Internet cafe and if she only knows Russian, have her send it to you in Russian, she does not need to have it translated. You can get her letter translated yourself here easy enough. Keep her expense down and to a minimum. If you cannot deal with this woman directly, outside the influence of the agency she is with, I would walk away and continue to find more ladies who you think you have an interest in.
Running of personal ads is also something a lot of guys do. After buying XXX number of addresses, doing the Gentleman's catalogs (sent to so many of the social scammers I found out later), appearing on Russian TV, I discovered my personal best results were from the running of personal ads. When I ran my first personal ad in 1998 and saw the results, whoaaaaaaa, what have we discovered here!! I ran these ads on my own, not thru any agencies help but this is because I had a network of friends in place, who eventually became my employees. I would run ads in regional newspapers, local newspapers, where I was the only one doing such. I knew from my first personal ad campaign that this was promising. I received a lot of replies, but over 95% of the replies I had no interest in, and this is the biggest problem with running of personal ads, so many of the ladies who reply you will not have interest in. I did not meet my dreambride from my first personal ad campaign but I did not get upset or disappointed as I could see the potential. The second half of 98 I ran my second personal ad campaign. This time I changed the wording considerably. Now I was more defined in the type of lady I was seeking and expressed such. Well, I received fewer replies than from the first ad, but they were more the type ladies I was looking for.
My second personal campaign also did not produce my dreambride, but I didn't get down, could still see the potential! With so many of the ladies who were replying I was the first and only foreign man they had ever written too. Almost all had never placed any type of ad themselves. Most of the ladies who wrote were not thinking, or planning on leaving the FSU. They just happen to see my photo and what I wrote and were interested. On my third personal ad campaign, which began in I think January of 1999, I changed the wording of the ad even more. I would guess that there were about 15 to 20% of the ladies who replied from my second personal ad campaign that I was interested in, but I was still not happy with not being interested in 80% of the ladies who replied. So with the third personal ad campaign, I was even more specific, more demanding. And you have to be real careful about how you word the ad at this point.
Well sure enough, I received much fewer replies, but of those I did, they were pretty good. I think almost half of the ladies that replied were ladies I could have had an interest in. My eventual wife wrote me at this time. I still remember as if it were yesterday receiving her letter. Beautiful photos of a beautiful lady. The only problem was the letter was written in Russian!!! By now, after almost five years into this wonderful pursuit, I knew when I was wasting my time and I no longer visited any ladies who I could not communicate with one on one. If I need an interpreter or translator for a lady, we didn't meet. So I wrote this lovely creature named Natalia a letter and told her I was glad to have received her letter but that I did not speak Russian, and I could not read Russian. I went further to write that if she could speak at least a little English (as that is all it usually takes, just a little English) then we could meet and if she did not speak any English now, but could learn a little English by the fall, then I would love to meet her in the fall of the year. I wrote her this letter, sent it registered mail from Dallas. Well, about three weeks later I get an e-mail (as I had left my e-mail address in the letter I sent her) and the e-mail said, "Jack, this is Natalia and I speak little English. Here is my phone number". Well that was great, only problem was,...... which Natalia was this? So I did some research, figured out by the phone number she was from Odessa and which Natalia it was and called her immediately. It was a nice conversation, I really enjoyed it and felt like I would want to see her, but my spring trip was only a month away and knowing I could not see her until the fall, and provided I did not find my dreambride on my upcoming trip, I knew I had a lot of time to buy with her and other ladies I would be seeing in the fall.
To make a long story short I did not meet my dreambride on the spring trip that year. I met Natalia as my 3rd of 7 ladies to meet during the first two full days in Odessa in the fall. With-in minutes of meeting her I felt there was a potential chemistry with her and of course asked to see her the day after tomorrow (as I still had three ladies to meet the next day). Needless to say I spent most the remaining time with Natalia, with the exception being the time I had to spend with Oksana who came to see me from Chernvosky. The problem with bringing a lady in from out of town is you have to see them, regardless if you think you have found your dreambride, you still have to see the ladies expecting to meet you (in my opinion) and especially if you are having them travel to meet you. I met with Oksana (her photo is 4th down on the left, page 1 Consulting link of my site). Oksana was a fine lady. I found her on a little website, one you had to look hard for to find, from Western Ukraine and I bought her address. Oksana was sincere, beautiful, fun, educated, spoke excellent English and was a great dancer. There was potential chemistry with Oksana. I truly enjoyed the next few days with Oksana but in the back of my mind I am still thinking of Natalia. When I had a few minutes away from Oksana I called Natalia on the phone and asked if she would like to fly with me to Kiev, after a little persuasion she agreed. So after 8 days in Odessa, it was time to go to Kiev, as I had committed to seeing some ladies there as well as I was flying in Olyesia from Kazakhstan to meet me. I remember standing in front of the Odessa airport in the morning and waving good-bye to Oksana until she was out of sight as the driver took her away, and without taking one step in any direction, about 10-seconds later I am waving hello to Natalia as she arrives at the entrance to the airport. Natalia and I go to Kiev for a few days, her first visit to Kiev. After a few days I have to tell Natalia good-by and 45 minutes later I am to greet Olyesia. I'll be d@mned!!! After meeting her, there was potential with Olyesia!. Sweet, caring, beautiful, good English (3rd photo down left side page 2 consulting link). It was an interesting few days as I was really checking my feelings and emotions. I think it is always a good situation when you are with someone who there is great potential feelings with and you are in the position to really judge and evaluate different ladies and compare strengths and weakness' and who you might be compatible. I would have, without any doubt, have visited both Oksana and Olyesia again, IF,.....IF it was not for finally, after 5 years, finally finding my dreambride. A woman who is good and caring, as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. I know what it is like to find your best compatible dreambride. I know the steps one can take and has to go thru in hopes of finding this woman and Optknrv (what kind of name is this anyway?) unless one is one of the lucky few who finds the best possible Russian woman for him as the first and only Russian woman he met, most of us are going to have to work at it, and it is work! There is also a LOT of luck involved. But we can also help make our own luck. I was lucky my Natalia saw me in a magazine in a restaurant two months after my ad ran. Each and every man whose future wife saw him in a newspaper or magazine, there was luck involved with her seeing him at that time. But we can help to make our own luck just by placing the ad!
Now about these personal ads Optknrv, the results I got in 98 and 99 were far better than the results guys get today. More guys are doing this. It's not such a big secret anymore. So what guys today have to realize is that they may have to post more personal ads over greater areas and I would concentrate on the smaller regions and cities as opposed to the larger city publications where you usually have several personal ads from men published everyday.
There were, and are, so many fine ladies to choose from and this is one of my major concerns for guys today who only had the opportunity to have met one or two ladies before they married. I often wonder how they knew she was the best Russian woman for him if he was un-able to compare her to any other Russian women? There are a great many number of guys out there who met the first or second Russian woman they ever met and married her. She was beautiful, younger, sensual and she would marry him. She is so much more than any type woman he could get in the States, he will marry her! A lot of guys do this and a lot of guys will tell me that it is the best choice they could make and that they are very happy. A lot of these same men have told me privately that if they ever had to do it over again the one thing they would change is that they would have liked to have met a few more Russian ladies. I am all for those lucky guys who are happily married to a wonderful Russian woman and she was the first, or second Russian woman they ever met. But most of us will not be so lucky.
When you have found the one, you generally know it. I am lucky in that I was able to meet and get to know several Russian ladies, most of all whom were good women, although I was scammed often early in my pursuit. The pursuit for a Russian bride Optknrv is so refreshing and more entertaining, productive and efficient when you can meet several sincere ladies. After my education, as I was scammed early and often by some very good scammers ( I like to say I was a very good student for some very good teachers), but once you can deal with several sincere women and not waste your time or money with the scammers, the whole pursuit becomes so much more enjoyable and fun that in-fact one can easily lose focus on trying to find a bride if one is not so careful!
So Optknrv, in general, there are several different things one can do, and should do, in trying to find his dreambride. Each and every man is different. What works for some, won't work for others. Some guys can only meet one woman on a trip, others can meet several.Take your time, move slowly starting out. See what fit's best for you. I see wonderful results from those men who are serious and take this serious and will meet several sincere ladies who have an interest in them in a short period of time. After meeting these ladies in the first few days, you now spend the remaining time with the one lady, d@mn lucky if there were two ladies, whom you had chemistry with. And if there was no chemistry with any ladies in this group of ladies you met, you now fall back on your back-up plans, now you go to your back-up list of ladies as well as local, honest marriage agencies in the city you are in. Read all you can from those who have just gone before you. The Internet offers today's guys so much more knowledge that there was available a few years ago.
Now Optknrv, as someone who is actively involved in the pursuit of a Russian Bride (I have a business interest that keeps me involved) I learn something new everyday. After reading from one of our posters recently, I am having a hard time understanding just exactly ' what an agency is' ?
I was reading the remarks passed on to you by one of our posters, Oscar, who just got engaged and with great excitement is awaiting his really nice, pretty fiancée. Now Oscar strongly advises against using an agency, he writes,..." I can only speak for myself but if I had not already found my girl, I would not go through agencies, but would use ads, that is how I found my girl....You need to have a local contact for the women to send their letters and photos to and for them to call to get more information about you...... you need the local contact so it is very easy for them to respond.....Again, I know there are guys here who found good girls through agencies, it just wasn't my experience".
See Optknrv, I consider myself as an agency owner and I think I am different from any other agency out there and pride myself on this independency and how I do things differently, but I still consider myself an agency. I think Optknrv that Oscar will chime in here and tell us about agencies and how they must differ, I mean the agencies that he is referring to, and the type agency he must consider me as, has me a little baffled?
My agency worked with Steve almost daily for several months. We ran ads for him, spent a great deal of time in coming up with the exact wording of the ads. Our agency received all the letters and telephone calls from ladies calling about him, we talked with the ladies trying to make sure they fit into the type of lady that Oscar had told us he wanted. In fact we were pre-qualifying all the ladies on Oscar's behalf, per his instructions. Oscar did not waste his time on a lot of ladies he would not be interested in and we pretty much had Oscar meeting ladies that were in his age range and with the qualities he had asked for. As an agency we greeted him in Kiev, bought his train tickets, escorted to train station, greeted him in Dnepropetrovsk and got him his flat. My Ukraine business manager, Galina, took a great interest in his success and served as his interpreter for his stay in Dnepropetrovsk. As an agency we sent Oscar to Odessa. It got a little hairy in Odessa as Oscar was using a different agency for different things there and as not to cause any conflict with the other agency, I wanted to limit my agencies exposure to possible problems and asked Oscar not to use us except as an emergency in Odessa. As an agency we corresponded with his interpreter in Odessa and met him in Dnepropetrovsk, made sure he had a flat for his return visit to Dneprop. and provided him with interpreter service for the remainder of his stay. Upon his return to the states our agency gave advice and help with regards to the K-1 visa process and for a shot time, doing something we as an agency really do not like to do, as an agency we translated many of the letters between he and his fiancée and offered e-mail service. As an agency we are even providing a little gift to his fiancée very soon.
So as I can see Oscar has certainly used an agency quite a bit and very extensively over the past several months and therefore when Oscar is referring to
"recommending not to use an agency", or when he says "Again, I know there are guys here who found good girls through agencies, it just wasn't my experience", he isn't talking about an agency like Firstdream, he is referring to other type of agencies,.......I think?
See Optknrv, things can get really confusing.
