Day 7: Without A Net
This was one of the most anticipated days I remembered in a while, as I was going to make my 1st attempt to be with Valeria w/o Helen or Natasha. I was nervous, scared, excited, and generally pretty interested in seeing how the night would go. I had other dates earlier in the day, as I was going to see Zhanna and Oksana again. I already cancelled my date with Olga because I knew that I was mainly interested in one of these 3 other girls, and I did not want to waste her time.
I woke up at around 11:00 and got ready for my 1:00 date with Zhanna. We were going to have lunch, talk and hopefully discuss the more serious subjects today. I wanted to start getting an idea who I wanted to match with, so today would be "Power Thomas." I wasn't going to "interview" them per se, but I wanted to know exactly where I stood with each girl today, so I could hopefully make up my mind in the next few days. I had no plans to see anyone else on this trip, and I was not going to have any more 1st dates. One of these 3 would be the woman I wanted to match with, and I had the best feeling about Oksana or Zhanna.
I got to the office around 12:30 and waited for Zhanna to arrive at 1:00. I taked to Natasha to see how she was doing, and also talked to another interpreter at the office Diana. Diana was very upset about having her phone stolen, and I felt real bad for her. As a rep for the company, I wanted to make sure that she was happy, so I thought that I would get her a new phone so that she could work effectively as an interpreter. I would be doing this tomorrow, but today was all about my dates.
Zhanna showed up at the office looking good as always, with a very revealing outfit that showed off her beautiful figure. It was a hot day so I assumed that this was more for her comfort than for me, but she was definitely nice to look at. We went to an outdoor cafe and had some lunch and beers. Remember, as an interpreter, we did not need Natasha for our date so we just had much fun talking about the serious subjects. I learned that she was very serious about me and thought we would make a wonderful match. She saw that she would be happy with me and I know that I could probably be happy with her as well. She spoke perfect English which was a plus, and she was just a lot of fun to be around. She might be my perfect woman, I am not sure, but I was not ready to ask her to match yet, as I wanted to see Oksana and Valeria at least one more time. Now I should say that when Zhanna and I met on my 1st trip, I was not sure how interested she was in me because she had to cancel on me several times. She knew that I liked her a lot but I was not so sure about her. She had been in the program for about 4 years, and now was very motivated to find a nice man to marry. As an interpreter in the office, and seeing how the program works and the various clients she worked with, she was now graduating from the university and ready to begin a life with a man. I was very happy to hear this and I knew that I would have to really think about whether I was ready to commit to Zhanna in the next few days. I had been here a week, and as most client have between 10 -14 days, I was at the point that many clients reach where decisions need to be made. Granted, I had 4 more weeks left, but I wanted to approach my trip like a regular client would and feel the sense of urgency. After 2 hours, I said goodbye to Zhanna and gave her a kiss goodbye. No problems with affection with her.
Oksana was going to arrive at 4:00 for 2 hours, so I thought we might just be together, take a walk, play pool, whatever, as long as I was with her. She was still at the top of my list, but I had concerns about her lack of affection for me and I wanted to see if she would eventually open up to me. We took an afternoon walk with Natasha and relaxed under a tent and had a beer. I wanted to just have something informal, and since she was busy studying for exams, I wanted to make sure that I did not monopolize all her time. She was insistent that her exams were not as important as I was to her, and that I should not worry about her school. 2 hours of walking, talking, and just having fun playing pool at Kalinin helped me see that she was probably the girl I wanted to be with and marry. The only question I had was whether she was going to move our relationship forward by being more intimate. We got along great, had a wonderful connection, and strong desires to continue seeing each other, but without intimacy, I was thinking the relationship would not work. I had cancelled my afternoon date with Olga to spend more time with Oksana, and this was by far the best decision I made. I said goodbye after about 1 1/2 hours with Oksana and I knew that we would see each other tomorrow at her restaurant that she works at after my massage. She wanted Helen and I to go visit her at work and have lunch. I had never been to her restaurant before and I was a little wary of going there when she was working because generally I do not like to insert myself into her work if I didn't have to. Plus, I was not sure if her boss and friends who worked there knew about our relationship. I was invited, therefore I knew that this would be okay.
I now had about 3 hours before my date with Valeria. I told Natasha to go home, as I was going to my flat for a while and clean up for my evening date. Helen would not be needed either, so I told Helen when I got to the office that she could go home to her husband. I think she was happy to hear this because it is not often when she is working with a client that she will get the night off. When Valeria arrived at the office for our date, I could tell she was nervous (as was I), but we were going to make the best of this night. Helen gave Valeria my flat address so she could make sure I got home alright after our date and also her home phone number in case we needed her for some reason. Helen wished us luck and we were off to the Hotel Osnabruck for our dinner.
The dinner was very nice and we had a fun time trying to communicate with each other by using dictionaries, hand gestures, and body langauge. It was difficult at times, frustrating other times, but I think we did very well under the circumstances. I was able to communicate with her by pointing to words in the dictionary then pronouncing the words in English. She would then say them in Russian, thus we were teaching each other our langauge. This was a very big step for us, because communication is very important in a successful relationship. A strange thing happened though during dinner. When I was looking across the table at Valeria, I began to wish that it was Oksana there, and not Valeria. This was my "moment of clarity" that I had been waiting for. I did not wish anyone else was there but Oksana, and thus, I took this that Oksana was the girl that I wanted to be with. Perhaps this was a rash decision, but I just knew in my heart that Oksana and I were meant to be together. She was so special to me that I knew we were supposed to be together.
Valeria took me home to my flat and gave me a big kiss goodnight. We had fun but I knew that the difficulties we were having communicating were holding us back, and besides, why was I thinking about Oksana almost the whole night when I was with Valeria? I thought this made it clear that Valeria and I would not match. I was sorry about this because she is so wonderful and sweet that she will make a great wife to any guy out there. I got into my flat and sat down to write for a few hours, to help clarify my thoughts about Oksana and Zhanna. I was now basically down to 2 girls, with Oksana really owning my heart if she chooses me. I believe that in this endeavor, the woman chooses the man, not the other way around. I was going to have coffee with Valeria tomorrow and give her "It's not you, It's me" speech telling how I would not be a good match for her. I hated to have to do this, as I did not want to hurt any feelings, but I needed to tell her soon so we could both move on.
I went to bed a little farther in my process and now down to really just Zhanna and Oksana. Which one it would be I was not sure, but I was feeling pretty good that I was almost ready to decide.
