Interesting Reading......

[Quasimoto]

... in response to still evasive, posted by KenC on Apr 7, 2002

I know a few couples of RW/AM personally. I live in a University town. There are 17 families of Russian Ukrainian decent in this valley of 40,000 people. How many couples do you know that abusive? I probably see couples every day that are in this situation and I don't know about it. I knew one couple for 4 years before I ever found out, and that was by accident. I never suggested that I knew any couples on this board that are abusive. I said I knew of couples on this board. I know nothing about them. I know of 6 couples out of approximately 30 that are in abusive situations. How many really are I don't know. And neither do you Ken!!!! 6/30 is less than the normal accepted statistic. Of the couples at work that I know personally, I would say the percentage is greater than that. I don't know how many RW have been killed. I know of 4. One was featured on A&E in Omaha Nebraska. She at one time was married to an RM from Denver. I am not claiming that some percentage of RW are abused or murdered. Don't read between the lines Ken. But you are quite cavalier! The abusive couples I know I have had contact through Abuse agencies, or personal contact through family members who have sought me out. I have been approached in the local shopping mall by a mother who's 17 year old daughter was raped by a 19 year old working in a sporting goods store. NO! Damit Ken she wasn't an RW. But this happens all the time. I get phone calls as reference from other people. What is your profession. If you a a TV repairman, then people bring you their TV.

STeve

[KenC]

... in response to Re: still evasive, posted by Quasimoto on Apr 7, 2002

Steve,
I was not debating that I knew more about AM abusing RW than you do.  But then again, I don't post misleading posts on the subject like you do either.  Every time your "opinion" on this or a similar subject is challanged, you get all pissy and defensive, but you continue to throw out generalizations and misquoted "facts".  As I said earlier, you are too close to this subject to objective.  Let me change your analogy of me being a TV repair man to a funeral director.  Using your logic, I would report to the board that everyone is dying.
KenC

[Quasimoto]

... in response to Re: Re: still evasive, posted by KenC on Apr 8, 2002

Not at all. I believe that the cross-section of men married to RW or seeking them is pretty much like the society in general. I also believe that those men who are seeking RW, who are abusive by nature, may be more predatory than abusers in general. What I mean is, pathalogical. It is AN opinion, but logical if you understand the dynamics of abusers. Read my article in the RussianWomensList under psychology and you may understand my thinking. However, I also believe a lot, though not all of what the articles on the feminist twist on abuse have to say. I have seen just as much of these incidences. My brother is being sued right now by a woman who he was counseling. He is a PHD in psychology in Bloomington Illinois. He travels the country doing clinics on these matters. She fell for him, and he told her she had to see someone else for counseling. She went loco and sued him. Now her lawyer has told her he wouldn't file...........because she is crazy and frivolous. Now she is suing the lawyer. I think they all should just go to bed together and forget the courts! What do you think? Anyway, I see this crap all the time with loco women. I have always said my biggest problem with AW is all their emotional and mental problems as evidenced by the "self-help sections at the bookstores. I want no part of it. My Tanya is the most normal and sweet woman imaginable. Not a raving beauty like your wife, but then again she makes my water boil!!!!, but she is "all that" and more, and that is all I need........NORMALICY!

Steve

[KenC]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: still evasive, posted by Quasimoto on Apr 8, 2002

Steve,
I dated a lot of AW before I met Lena.  The "goofy factor" ran about 80% goofy to 20% non-goofy.  LOL.  I never even considered a long term relationship with any of them.  It was always 6 months tops.  I also agree on your take on self help books.  We MUST be very screwed up here in America or why else would there be so many books?  LOL.  Thanks for the compliment on Lena and best wishes for you and Tanya.
KenC

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: Interesting Reading......but!, posted by Quasimoto on Apr 5, 2002

"I do not know of any RWs who have come here and murdered or beat up their spouses."

Well, there was one, but she did it in Ukraine, not here.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Thebes/5361/

[Ryan]

... in response to Re: Interesting Reading......but!, posted by Quasimoto on Apr 5, 2002

I understand and respect your point; I have seen men like you speak of myself.  They should be locked up.  In the same respect I have seen some very manipulative American women that know how to push the right buttons to set off this chain reaction that occurs.  

When I see the statistics of domestic violence in FSU it also makes me think about this issue deeper.  We have read many stories here of how FSU woman can be very conniving and very smart in their ways of manipulation, now how many of them were a bigger part of the domestic violence problem in their country?  These are just questions that need to be researched at a larger level and probably will never really know the real answers.  

I just can’t stop thinking about when I was in the Ukraine I made a good friend with a cousin and the brother of the girl I went to see.  These guys and me went out together one afternoon fishing; they were looking at me like I was crazy.  They would ask why would you want these women around here?  They could not believe that I would travel so far just to see the women from their country.  I gave them the only answer I had; they have family values and all that stuff…bla bla bla…      Could it be there are so many single women from FSU because there is a simpler reason that we men here have failed to look at or address?  
Ryan

[Quasimoto]

... in response to Just a thought.... Could get slammed for..., posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

I think abuse is much more common and "accepted" in Ukraine and Russia. I have had contact with women's shelters "safe-houses" there. There are only 3 in the whole country of Ukraine right now as far as I know. I believe Rivne is the only city in Ukraine where the police are educated or get involved in domestic abuse cases.

As far as AWs, I have seen them use sexual abuse in divorce cases, physical abuse, just like some RWs have done in divorce cases to gain residency here. I think false claims should be punishable. Another idea that gets me into trouble with the feminists. I might point out a trend in some university towns. I have seen the entire staffs of abuse Hotlines that were Lesbian. No men were allowed. They used it as an "opportunity", if you know what I mean. The city specifically I am speaking of was Missoula, Montana. I don't know if it has changed, but there was a lot of trouble in agencies in Montana.

I think that there is a difference between the cry of "abuse" and the real thing. The average abused women leaves her abusive husband? 8 times before staying away and cutting ties. Problem is, each time she returns, she increases her chance of fatality.

Don't begin to think that anyone here who is less than a psychologist can have a greater insight into this area than I do. I lived it. I watched it. You aren't going to enlighten me with stats or articles, though I agree with a lot of what was in the one mentioned at the top of the link.

Steve

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Just a thought.... Could get slammed for..., posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

Women seem love to push our buttons to get us angry.  I think that triggers a lot of men to abuse their wives.  They should just leave us alone a while or just stay quiet and go for a walk with us until things cool off.

[KenC]

... in response to Oh, I think you're right again, posted by BubbaGump on Apr 5, 2002

Bubba,
The irony of all this is that the closer you get to someone the more vulnerable you become to being hurt by that person.  A couple that is close knows exactly which buttons to push for each other.  That is one reason divorces usually gets so nasty.  We as men must fight our nature to take it to a physical level.  It is a card that never should be played.
KenC

[Mike]

... in response to no excuse, posted by KenC on Apr 6, 2002

we men are really fighting our nature, or would it fall under nurture? I mean I've never had a problem wanting to strike a man when he asked for it, but would see hitting a women the same way I would look at hitting something defensless, or something??? I know it's in my head instantly to not react with violance, and I can't recall ever being taught not to hit girls, I've always seen them as something to protect. Hmmm maybe it's the oldest child thingy and I had 3 little sisters??
Mike

[Quasimoto]

... in response to I wonder if ---, posted by Mike on Apr 7, 2002

Your a healthy man!

[Quasimoto]

... in response to no excuse, posted by KenC on Apr 6, 2002

Well said!

[Ryan]

... in response to Oh, I think you're right again, posted by BubbaGump on Apr 5, 2002

I have never really been in that position to have someone push those buttons, but I got it purity laid back so I don't know, one extreme or the next it all sounds like something I hope I never have to deal with.

[Mike]

... in response to Ummm Well ahh... ya I guess, posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

I too am cosidered laid back and hard to upset, but if you live with any women she will find those buttons that you didn't know existed. I think it is in their genetic make up from birth to find a mans weak point and step on it when they feel the need to. (wink)
Mike

[Patrick]

... in response to Interesting Reading......, posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

Perhaps some, or even most or all of it is true and factual, but it certainly didn't look like any research report to me.  It wasn't very well written, and I noticed that the URL at the bottom of the page where the original document was supposed to be located, along with footnotes and cited sources, was no longer on-line.  Not very credible IMHO.  Looked like a rant from an angry man.  Loaded language, sources not cited, etc., etc.

I read an interesting report from real researchers regarding disparity in pay between men and women that blew away the commonly held belief that females are grossly underpaid compared to males.  Most of the studies done simply select an equal number of men and women at random and compare their salaries.  When this particular study was conducted, they compared equal numbers of men and women each in the same field with similar levels of experience and education.  The "gross inequity" came down to around 1-2%.

Perhaps there's some real research into domestic violence that similarly dispells the common wisdom regarding that issue, but this wasn't it.