I can't believe this really has happened!!!

[Lori]

... in response to HI LORI!, posted by Humabdos on Feb 17, 2002

Build it and she will come!!
No, just make sure you know what you need and you do everything exactly the way they want it.
Also, be patient, and always let her know how much you love her, especially while you are waiting.
I am really happy for you, Dude!! And good luck with your business venture over there!! Thai's brother has his own business---a plasic factory.. I think we will be investing in it in the future. His brother wants us to build a house next to the factory . I don't know, we'll see---I really don't understand the communist way of things, so I don't know how much the government takes. I know when I retire it is going to be parially or fully in Vietnam. I loved it there. Anyways---now I'm babbling.
Hey did you get the "letter of intent" to marry from her while you were over there? I forgot to do it and it set me back a few weeks
-god luck--Lori

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Re: I can believe this  has happened..., posted by Lori on Feb 16, 2002

Lori, no disrespect, but since most AW's do not want to be wives and mothers, most putting carrer before family, and thinking that AM's only want to be domineering and controlling (note you seek men overseas) I think my comment was not out of place.

Of course, this probably isn't true - just the side I see, right.

Honey does more and tries harder than any woman I've ever observed here.  The harder I try to let her know that I can help (and want to) the more she insist I don't.  I am almost afraid to ask for anything because she won't stop till I get it.  Try that with and AW.  Honestly, the harder she tries the harder I try to see she's happy (and visa versa).  Which is the way that it should be.  

No AW I have ever met felt or acted that way because they were raised that the efforts were to be the mans and they the beneficiary of it.  Just let him refuse and the laws of the land will take all he has and ever will have.  Of course, many foreign women hear of it and think they can benefit the same, ask Humbados and Kevin.

I had this discussion with my "ex" so many times only to end up with I was "being selfish, cruel and controlling" when all I wanted was to see that I was important to her (why doesn't Honey think that?).  Oh, and I was important to her - I paid the bills while she slept, ate (over 270 lbs worth), did crossword puzzles and watch soaps and talk shows.  Honey never complains about my holding her doors or her chairs and all the AW's stare in disbelief.  Oddly enough, Honey doesn't expect it either and is almost shocked I do it.

AW's haven't a clue.  But the men are the ones who allow and accept that attitude, so I am not really blaming AW's.  Welcome to the land of divorce and baby killing.  With the exception of some couples in my church I do not know a single person over 40 not divorced at least once, most twice and more.

I don't know why (cause I don't believe in stereotypes) but with Filipinas it is possible that you get what you give - but it never happened with any AW in my life.  I guess I am just a bad guy no AW could tame and a Filipina did.

Bear

[Lori]

... in response to Well..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

Bear, I did not seek a man oversea's because AM's were domineering and controlling . I did'nt do it because I hate AM's. I did it because I think asian men are hot!! hot!!
hot!!
anyways, I don't think AM's have a clue how to be Daddys. They don't have a great tract record of sticking around and playing Daddy. How many single mothers are there in America?? How many government offices are there bogged down with trying to get dead beat fathers to at least acknowledge their kids and pay some support? And sheesh, all american men do is sit around with their butts glued to a couch, watching WWWrestling and screeming during commercials, " Where the hell is my beer!!!"
--A little narrow minded don't you think? but oh well---at least I got it off my chest. I guess I just described my Dad up there and a few other guys I know. But I really can't believe that all AM's are like that.

You know bear--- I believe you have this idea in your head that all AW are evil. They're  the bad people, they're  the reason america is the way it is today. I know I can't get inside your head to know exactly how you tick.
I do have an idea, though. You are a religous man, right? I suggest you go to your pastor and tell him about the problems you are having at work. Explain to him your views on AW's etc..etc....see what he has to say about it.
Also, you said you don't believe in stereo-types??? Give me a break!!! You don't believe in them only when it concerns pinays
---Lori

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Well..., posted by Lori on Feb 17, 2002

You make a lot of assumptions Lori.  First I don't watch wrestling or drink beer, I find both disgusting and stupid waste of time.  I'd much rather get up and get my own treats and bring something to Honey because I really do not know what I want without perusing the frig - if I leave it to her she won't let me have things like chocolate, so I get my own.  

I also do not hate women at all.  I am very impressed with most women because they always seem to be a success at everything they attempt.  But here in America, women have been convinced that family is second or even third in importance and anything from career or to whatever is more important.  Like I said - they haven't a clue on how to be good wives because in most cases its not important to what they have been lead to believe is important.  

As for stereotypes, believing that cultures teach and expect certain things does not mean that it is part of ones character - typing them in anyway.

Other than having a casual discussion with "friends" and I now use the word very loosely, I don't discuss my opinions with people at work simply because I am too busy.  It is not inappropriate to chat with people you work with about things that are important to you but it appears I am being told that things that are important to me are repulsive to someone at my office and I should cease which I believe if a violation of my rights and unjust since similar directives are not being place on everyone.

To me family is everything and nothing will ever come even close to being before it.  I do not know if I am a good "Daddy" but I know I try.  Nothing hurts more than to watch your loved ones suffer because you failed them.

Bear

[Lori]

... in response to Re: Re: Well..., posted by Bear on Feb 17, 2002

I was being sarcastic about the beer and wrestling.  I was trying to show you how stereo-typing is wrong. You, my friend make alot of assumptions about American women. I for one am sick of hearing what awful human being, and awful mothers we are, and awful wives we are. You have nothing good to say about american womern. You put them in one catagory, no give-no take.
I guess this subject is not for me and you to discuss, as we will never see eye to eye on it. -Good Luck --Lori

[SteveB]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Well..., posted by Lori on Feb 17, 2002

Lori, did Bear say lori's a bad woman? or that she will make a bad wife?  I think you are a tad defensive of AW"S

steveb

[Bob S.]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Well..., posted by SteveB on Feb 17, 2002

yes he did.
http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/asian/messages/29765.html

[Lori]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Well..., posted by SteveB on Feb 17, 2002

You are entitled to your opinion.

[panther]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Well..., posted by Lori on Feb 17, 2002

There are too many negative generalizations about american women by some on this site.  You brought a good point about the dead beat dads.  We have a high divorce rate here but the men are at fault too.

[Bueller]

... in response to I agree with you Lori, posted by panther on Feb 17, 2002

.

[Nathan]

... in response to Re: Re: I can believe this  has happened..., posted by Lori on Feb 16, 2002

Lori,

   Whether or not you agree with Bear's personal convictions and lifestyle, it is really not your concern
or mine what he believes. And so long as it does not
prevent him from doing his job, it should be of no consequence to his boss or fellow employees. That said, it is likely a good idea not to bash anyone at one's work place. I must say, that in my experience, I have heard a lot more man bashing feminists sounding off than the other way around, yet they would think it outrageous if they received the response that Bear did. One person's "narrow minded" ways are another person's strong religious/personal convictions, and if Bear wants to be "narrow minded" that is his option. A liberal is someone who is so broad minded that they cannot even take their own side in an argument.

2 cents at work....

Nathan

[Lori]

... in response to Narrow minded...., posted by Nathan on Feb 16, 2002

Nathan-- ok--I know if I went to work and bashed filipino men and said they made lousey husbands--I might just get pulled into the office.  Where I work, you can not make racial comments, no matter how minor they may sound.
Bear can be as narrow minded as he wants---no concern of mine. But I think he might want to get a little concerned if he wants to hold a job.
_Lori

[Nathan]

... in response to Re: Narrow minded...., posted by Lori on Feb 17, 2002

Lori,
 
  You are making the huge assumption that bear makes racial or anti- American women comments at work.
Why do you make that assumption when you have no indication that it is true? Certainly, any one of us might make comments here that we would never make at work- that it what the board is for. You are leaping to conclusions that Bear's employer is reasonable and Bear is not, when you have no indications either way. I'm sure there is enough narrow minded attitudes to go around.
  Bigotry is pointless- there are usually plenty of people to dislike on an individual basis.
  And one might grant that unless they know otherwise, it just MIGHT be possible that Bears employer and co-workers
are having a narrow minded reaction to his having married
an Asian women...many of the so called politically correct have outlandish stereotypes of Asian women and men who marry them that are total nonsense, yet they persist- so just who is being narrow minded? Even with your role reversed situation personally, you are very likely to get slapped repeatedly with the same type of nonsense- outlandish smears and stereotypes by people who's travel
experience is limited to the travel channel if even that.
If you have not heard this stuff yet, you will, and most people here on this board will tend to take your side of the issue and offer words of encouragement- I certainly would.

another 2 cents worth...

Nathan

[Lori]

... in response to Re: Re: Narrow minded....politically cor..., posted by Nathan on Feb 17, 2002

yes, I was making an assumption about what he does and does not say about aw's at his work. I just thought if you have that much hatred for a certain race of women, it would be hatrd to keep it all inside.
I am sure I'll run into alot of racist comments about my situation. I am not in the dark about that.
If Bears emplyers pulled him into the office strictly because he has a younger fillipina wife, I would guess there would be grounds to sue. I am wondering, though, in this day and age if an emplyer is really that stupid.
I might have blabbed off the mouth about Bear and his situation. But I am tired of him putting AW's into one catagory. It's like he is telling me ,I, personally do not know how to be a good wife. He knows nothing about me. He is stereo-typing.

[Nathan]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Narrow minded....politically..., posted by Lori on Feb 17, 2002

Lori,

   Well, I know that being lumped together with the worst
AW would get under one's skin. There are a lot of great
American women anyway- perhap not enough, but still wise to not poke our finger in the eye of every AW we see.
  For that matter, I know a good friend of my wife in the Philippines, a great girl, but I do not know a good guy I would introduce her to here.

Take care,

Nathan