RW's with kids vs without??

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Blonde RW in CA, posted by petem on Mar 31, 2002

If you are afraid of a woman being hit on you are asking for trouble.  You have to expect a hot woman to be hit on.  It is up to you and the strength of your relationship to keep your woman.

[KenC]

... in response to No need to be afraid, posted by Bobby Orr on Mar 31, 2002

Bobby,
I agree with you completely.  If you cannot trust your woman, then something is wrong.  I almost replied to the post above because we live here in San Diego.  What should a guy do if he marries a good looking woman?  Move to a cabin in MT?  LOL.  Seriously, it is a matter of having a good relationship, trust and self confidence.  
KenC

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Re: RW's with kids vs without??, posted by Natalya on Mar 29, 2002

I want them to smile in their picture just so I know they actually have teeth.  If I see 4 pictures and no smiling, I'm worried about those teeth.

[wsbill]

... in response to Smile, posted by BubbaGump on Mar 29, 2002

I haven't read the whole story line... But a picture can be altered, it's really simple.

I don't worry about teeth too much... I have a sister and a brother in law who are both dentist.

[Wayne]

... in response to Re: RW's with kids vs without??, posted by Natalya on Mar 29, 2002

Yes...Natalya you are right on about looking at their teeth.

I put 10,000 worth of dental and orthodontic work in to my Russian wife's rotten teeth and mouth.

Check the teeth!!!!!

Just kidding...well sort of.

Wayne

[Natalya]

... in response to Re: Re: RW's with kids vs without?? You ..., posted by Wayne on Mar 29, 2002

Great that you bring up this subject Wayne.Based on your experience author of this topic should undoubtedly add good teeth requirement to his "she must have" list.But I wonder how do you know if teeth good or bad? Really? Going to ask for dental records or check yourself with the mirror?I'm telling you this whole topic irritates me. I do agree with some posts in here but I just can understand how in the world  somebody can say that this "criteria list" is reasonable. Yes, for ordering bride from catalog, maybe it is a good list and it’s going to work.But it's not working this way.I agree that AM have expectations and some requirements. Well I did too, when I was looking for husband. But it was down to earth requirements as family oriented, reliable, intelligent man...I just can't believe that living parents can play significant role in choosing your spouse or age or job.Totally ridiculous. How did he even came to all his conclusions...It is just don't make sense to me...

[petem]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: RW's with kids vs without?? ..., posted by Natalya on Mar 30, 2002

Natalya,
I thank you for your post. I think it is great your are contributing your advice, it is well needed to get your bias in helping us understand your point of view.

You are correct that to start with a criteria list is like shopping in a catalog. This is what we face when we start (an online catalog of women), and list of criteria to select from, age ht, wt, with child, without, country etc. Of course you end up narrowing down the group  by  corresponding and then eventually calling, visiting etc.

Parents are by far the greatest influences of our lifes. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. It has been my experince and that of socialogists that alot of our personality, health, attitude and values are shaped by our parents. GOing to a foregin country especially one that has gone thru as many changes as the FSU is risky business. Given that you have limited access and time to determine a life long partner. I think looking closly at the parents is the best single indicator your going to have. You can't efectivly go and talk to all the people who have been involved in your potential mates life proir to you meeting this woman, like teachers, old boyfriends, etc.

Please continue to post, I always read your posts first, because this is a rare chance to read what you, & RW's think.

What criteria did you use to sort out the many respondants?

[Natalya]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: RW's with kids vs withou..., posted by petem on Mar 30, 2002

was more down to earth compare to yours. I was looking for family oriented, intelligent, reliable and kind man.Since I was RW with child I was looking for man who'll love my child as his own.Thats about it. I had some reasonable age criteria in mind. I would never marry man 15-20 years older than me.Now I'm married for 6 happy years.

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: RW's with kids vs without?? ..., posted by Natalya on Mar 30, 2002

If she did have bad teeth, just yank them out and get her a set of dentures...

(I'm just kinding... LOL)....
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If someone has teeth problems generally they'll have really funky bad breath.  

Course no tellin what kind of workmanship is required under all those russian filings.

[Quasimoto]

... in response to Re: RW's with kids vs without??, posted by Natalya on Mar 29, 2002

Ammen Natalya. Sounds as if he is shopping for a suit, and he may never find one for a bargain price that fits better than a custom fit Armani. People are not a product, or actually "mailorder". Since you are new at this, you almost sound like you are unrealistic and waisting your time.

Steve

[thesearch]

... in response to Re: Re: RW's with kids vs without??, posted by Quasimoto on Mar 29, 2002

I know what you two are saying (or at least I think I do) but I am going to come to his defense here.

It is ok for him to have a list of what represents his preference. He may find the perfect woman for him who meets those criteria. If he does not, he may have to expand what it is he will consider. Everyone, I mean everyone has things they prefer and things they would rather avoid if it is possible.

Both you and Natalya have you criteria - however, when the list gets longer why is it that we start to think that it is not appropriate? I think it is because we know that a person will pass up someone who is perfect for them as they are rejected because of something that has nothing to do with who they are as a person. Most of us have been rejected by someone for a reason that had nothing to do with who we were.

Also, when we get honest about what we want, it does sound like a list of options and features that might be listed on the sticker of a car we might choose. But, this is life. We also conjure up in our head that the person is looking for things - nice breasts, full lips etc. typically what you would do in a true mail order bride scenario and thus the heart of the person you pick is not even considered. None of us want to think that we were involved in a process like this when in reality we all know that much of what goes on in people getting married who live in different countries, when only a small amount of time is really spent together prior to the decision to apply for the K-1 is a decision made up from a mental list of what we have seen and experienced. That is a list of sorts - because you really do not know that person yet. You are not picking that person because of who they are. You are picking them because of what they have projected and you hope they are plain and simple.

Just as KenC said when he was dating AW, and I have confirmed for me what he found - it takes about six months of dating to know enough about a woman commonly to know if she is for you. What looks good at first relative to compatibility can vanish during that time frame.

But back to our new poster. Note that he is asking about women and children and what the experience of others is - why? ---- because he is looking at considering  a woman with children I would bet - something in opposition to his list.  He is looking for positive feedback to support his consideration it seems to me. So, he is wondering about his list, thinking of breaking down barriers and eroding part of his list. I think this is what we would all advise him to do.

[petem]

... in response to i am gonna challenge ya both here, posted by thesearch on Mar 29, 2002

Thanks for your support. You have me read right.
Really I have been doing my own searching for the most part, but read my first post and you did correctly point out that I have been getting emails from women with children and trying to decide to reply to them.

I did not expect this when I posted my profile on these web sites, since I remember stating no women w/children desired.
But I have been getting some very attractive women writing to me and then read on many boards discussing these relationships, and am always surprised at the % of guys who are single and bring a woman with a child over here.

I also read plenty of nightmare stories and many involve RW's with child. So I am wondering whats the deal. I have dated a couple of AW with child, but decided it was not my scene, but have very limited experience with that situation.

I can see if the child is under 5 being a different case than older than 5, as I think the child can quickly overcome language differences and cultural differences.

[Wayne]

... in response to Re: i am gonna challenge ya both here, posted by petem on Mar 30, 2002

Choosing a women with a child opens yourself up to huge financial risk if it doesn't work out.  The affidavit of support that you have to sign to get her into the country can be used in family court to force you to pay child support for a long, long, long time.

I would have considered a women with a child if it weren't for our screwy immigration laws.

I just couldn't immagine paying child support for another man's child for 10 years, after being married for 6 months.

If she files a false domestic violence charge,  and gets her green card, then you are on the hook for both of them for up to 10 years at least.

Sorry this is a little negative, but many guys really don't know the financial risks when they go into this.

Wayne

[Quasimoto]

... in response to Re: Re: i am gonna challenge ya both her..., posted by Wayne on Mar 30, 2002

It is a very good point, and valid, though it will not change my course and direction.

STeve

[petem]

... in response to Re: Re: i am gonna challenge ya both her..., posted by Wayne on Mar 30, 2002

Support is until she is an adult.