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Author Topic: Something for you to read part3  (Read 9333 times)
Natalya
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« on: April 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
Bill interrupted her harshly. "Look. This isn't Russia. This
is America. Football is a major part of our culture; right
now, every man in America is getting ready to sit down and
watch that football game, not go out and buy some stupid
flowers!!!"

"What you need to do is, instead of sitting there whining
and b......, you need to learn something about football
so you'll know what's going on. Like that new Raiders
running back, he's a new player on the team, he...."

Tears flooded Olga's face, as she screamed, "I don't
care about your stupid football game, and I don't care
about your stupid spinach and your stupid culture!" It was
the closest she could come to expressing how she felt
at the moment.

Her face in her hands, Olga ran into the bedroom, slamming
the door behind her. Bill roared, "G.....t, Olga, NOW
what's the matter with you? J.... Krist, man, we're just
sitting here at the table and you start yelling and crying and
b.... all about NOTHING! Can't I even TALK to you
without you starting World War III? F....!!!"

Bill tried to control himself. Ok. He was the "man" here. He
"wore the pants in the family." So he'd take care of the poor,
upset little thing. She just needed a good hug, that's all. After
all, everybody knows a woman feels better when she's
hugged and protected by a big, strong man. He
forced himself to calm down and walked softly into the dark
bedroom, where Olga lay face down on the bed, sobbing.

She sat up, wondering what he was going to do next. Bill
gently stepped near her and said, "Olga...." and put his arm
around her, like a father comforting a weeping child. Naturally,
Olga shoved his arm off of her with a sudden jolt. "Just get
away from me!" she shrieked. The last thing in the world
she needed right then was this big laut patting her on the
head as if she were some frightened puppy.

Bill leapt up and roared. "What the f... is WRONG with
you! I'm TRYING to be NICE, for G..ds sake! Why do
you push me away, d....t? I LOVE you Olga, I CARE about
you, can't you SEE that? And here I am trying to be nice
to you and you just shove me away like I smelled bad or
something! Don't you CARE about me at all? Do I mean
ANYTHING to you?"

Olga was so furious she was shaking. "NO! I HATE you!
I hate you, I hate your food, I hate your stupid football,
I hate your stupid country!"

Bill looked stunned. "Well, SH..., Olga, if you HATE me,
then why the h..l did you MARRY me? Don't you appreciate
ANYTHING I've given you here? Six months ago you
were living on $20 a month and scrubbing the floor with
a piece of cloth and doing laundry in the bathtub! And now
you have EVERYTHING, and all you do is b*** and b***
and b*** and B***, and I'm getting f.. TIRED of
it!"

Olga, beyond tears, cried helplessly, "Go away! Just go
away and leave me alone, PLEASE!!! Leave me ALONE!!"

Bill stormed off to the other bedroom, slamming the door
behind him. God, what a mess, he thought. All this marriage
agency bu&**t about Russian women being "cozy little
housewives." What a bunch of .... 90% of them were
just scammers; good God, they get over here and they
just CAN'T have enough. Like this b**** just sits here all
day doing NOTHING, and when I come home all I get is
a bowl of f.... SPINACH. Then we get into bed and
she doesn't even want to F...K. What is this, a f....
HOTEL?

Popping a can of beer and sitting heavily in front of the
computer, Bill opens his Outlook email and types in,
RussianWomanList@y... Boy, does
he have a story to tell. What a pity, all those innocent
new guys that have no idea what they're going to get into
with these ungrateful Russian b****es. He frowns
at the keyboard and chews his lips as he starts typing
his message.
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thesearch
Guest
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Something for you to read part3, posted by Natalya on Apr 1, 2002

For all of this to be less traumatic you as a man need to be sensitive, responsive and patient. The allegation that many men who go into this do not have well evolved social skills with women if true posses an interesting issue. For those that fit this category, they are taking their weakness and matching it against a far greater challenge. As an analogy - if you could not graduate from high school because you could not effectively compete for the grades, if you found yourself in a graduate educational program, you would probably would not survive it.

Also, you are best to pick a woman who is strong and has a generally positive attitude about life to start with.  Also pick a lady that you are absolutely sure is crazy about you or at some point it may not be worth it to her.
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Ryan
Guest
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Something for you to read part3, posted by Natalya on Apr 1, 2002

Wow….  This post scares the hell out of me, but at the same time it really helped me gain some focus in all of this.  It scares me to think how stupid I was to even get into this search 2-1/2 years ago, for me it was because I started writing to a girl in the Ukraine, for me it was simple like dating a woman from around here.  Then I learned about the country, I didn’t even know where Ukraine was…  Then I found this board, learned what I though was enough and went over…  I was burned hard and I only had the best of intentions.  I just had no idea back then and am somewhat confused about all this stuff today but I think from reading your post I am starting to get a clue…  We are really a crazy bunch of mothers to be searching for love in the FSU.  

I had a friend come up to me and say that he had a friend at work that was interested in women from the Ukraine.  He wanted some information from me about the whole thing as he know I was over in that country last year.  I was speechless, as I didn’t even know what to tell him first.  It just seemed like anything I wanted to say just came out negative, I ended up just saying… Good luck to him but if he has a specific question then maybe I could help…  All that I think I know anymore is that I like my lifestyle today, I like myself and I have friends and family.  I just want someone to share all this with and create a family of my own.  The women from the FSU are said to also want these things and that is it I have been hooked ever since.  So I guess to get the best it really takes the extra work, then sometimes I feel like are they really the best?  All I can say for sure is that we are all a bunch of crazy mother…F..kers.  And that is the only thing that stays the same or is a constant in this whole search...

Good luck,
Ryan
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Mike
Guest
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Crazy bunch of Mother....., posted by Ryan on Apr 2, 2002

you want to make it. If you have all those things going for you then you're better off then a lot of people, just hold  your head up, if I can get lucky and find one very nice RW anyone can do it, but if I was to approach this RW thing like you, I too would have my ups and downs.  It's true being married to one isn't perfect but every relationship has its good times and bad times. I will say this, now that I know what it's like being married to a nice RW I'm happy about it and I'm glad that I didn't have to go through the system everyone else uasually takes. Maybe now that you're not so deeply interested you'll be able to go there and have a good time and stop searching so hard. I think life has a way of giving you what you want just before you're about to give up, or after you have given up all hope. It'll happen soon enough. I went there with no intentions of anything happening, just wanted to escape and try to meet a few women and have fun. You see I had given up on finding the kind of girl I wanted and never knew I would find one on the other side of the world. When I met Inna and knew I wanted her, I knew nothing about agencies, forums, news groups, or the visa thing, heck I thought they could just hop on a plane and come here. So don't give up, just enjoy life and if you decide to go there have fun and don't think so much into this, and don't make it so important and something you must accomplish.
Mike
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Bobby Orr
Guest
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Crazy bunch of Mother....., posted by Ryan on Apr 2, 2002

Did you ever think of trying Russia instead of Ukraine?
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wilmc
Guest
« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Something for you to read part3, posted by Natalya on Apr 1, 2002

Dear Natalya

Wonderful message, thank you.  Much of what you wrote relates to American marriages in general not only those between AM and RW.  It is truly "food for thought."
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tim360z
Guest
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Something for you to read part3, posted by Natalya on Apr 1, 2002

and some nice creative writing.  Who was the narrator?  The plight of Olga is something to bear in mind.  It can be quite an adjustment,  I am sure.  Probably an enterprising lady like Natalya could write a how-to- book,  like an introduction to America.  So they women had a solid idea of here and functioning here.  Probably another,  a must read companion book for the new husband,  helping him to reinforce positively her adjustment.  And in short time follow-up with an instructional video.  I think you would rack up some pretty good sales figures.
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Dan
Guest
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Thanks Natalya & Olga, posted by tim360z on Apr 1, 2002

More sordid elements of Natalya's account (assuming a person is naive enough to believe Natalya's fiction).

The book, entitled 'America Through The Eyes of a Russian Woman', is written by Maria Knjazeva and is available in both English and Russian versions.

It is an excellent account to share with your fiance - and for you to better understand the cultural adjustment process.

Anyone interested in obtaining a copy just let me know and I'll provide the contact information so that you may buy a copy.

- Dan
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wsbill
Guest
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Such a Book Already Exists - Albeit *Lac..., posted by Dan on Apr 1, 2002

I wasn't to impressed, but maybe it was the writing style.

But she ask me if I found someone and I'm 41 and told her I was looking at 25-29 ladies and she like flipped out.  Said I should be looking for one at 36-45...yea.right.

So I set my sights for 32-35.  Found that girl at 35.
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Dan
Guest
« Reply #9 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: I e-mailed that author and got her b..., posted by wsbill on Apr 2, 2002

The book, or Maria's reaction to your intended age difference?

I will leave the question of age difference up to those having strong (if misdirected) opinions on the topic.

As for the book, I suppose I can understand that it might  not entirely apply to someone in your circumstances Bill. After all, Maria was writing from her initial impressions in large metropolitan communities (for the most part) and that stands in stark contrast to your rural/semi-rural setting.

I would have thought you might find the sections on her reactions to American-style shopping, foods and customer service quite interesting. I know that Olya and her mother really enjoyed reading the book, and it provided loads of opportunity to question and challenge the details of the book. I recall often explaining to Olya that, while these experiences were, indeed, valid for Maria in her experiences in California, that we would likely have a different set of experiences - and we have.

Still, in all, we found it an educational and interesting read - a bit lighthearted - and sometimes invalid for specific circumstances. On balance, it was quite worthwhile.

FWIW

- Dan
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wsbill
Guest
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to What Was It That Failed To Impress You?, posted by Dan on Apr 2, 2002

I thought it was just too simplistic.  I don't know where Olya comes from (city or country life).  But from what I saw going on in Kiev, they are quickly adapting themselves to western life styles.

Perhaps in the country side where a ox and a whip are a technological marvel.  I guess in the older people circles they haven't looked beyond their street for the life thats going on beyond them.  And they're still stuck in the time warp... but the younger generation is like growing up with MTV and are much more on the fast track of life.
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wsbill
Guest
« Reply #11 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: It was probably a easier read in Rus..., posted by wsbill on Apr 2, 2002

Values and morality.  Something, most American haven't got a clue what they are.

I think this is why I like Ukraine so much, the values have not changed over the last 100 years in the rural areas.  That is something good from a family raising stand point.

To me, Kiev the capital is turning into a westernized city much too fast.

When countries westernized to fast, they get caught up in the rat race and this is probably why alot of these poor folks are feeling so left out.  It's because the younger generation is making alot of fast money and quickly becoming the middle to upper class.

That Book was probably written in the early 90's when their independence was something new and interesting.  Now days all they have to do is turn on the satillite TV and they have the rest of the world to look at and all the mavels that come with it.

You might hear some of them complaining.. about not having enough money.  Before their independence, they didn't know they were'nt rich and now especially the pensioners feel so poor.  Some I have read, wished they'd go back to the old system.

The book was translated into english after the Russian version was published first.  Where I'm critical, it sometime reads like a Hemingway novel.  Simple words describing events.
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wsbill
Guest
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: It was probably a easier read in Rus..., posted by wsbill on Apr 2, 2002

Values and morality.  Something, most American haven't got a clue what they are.

I think this is why I like Ukraine so much, the values have not changed over the last 100 years in the rural areas.  That is something good from a family raising stand point.

To me, Kiev the capital is turning into a westernized city much too fast.

When countries westernized to fast, they get caught up in the rat race and this is probably why alot of these poor folks are feeling so left out.  It's because the younger generation is making alot of fast money and quickly becoming the middle to upper class.

That Book was probably written in the early 90's when their independence was something new and interesting.  Now days all they have to do is turn on the satillite TV and they have the rest of the world to look at and all the mavels that come with it.

You might hear some of them complaining.. about not having enough money.  Before their independence, they didn't know they were'nt rich and now especially the pensioners feel so poor.  Some I have read, wished they'd go back to the old system.

The book was translated into english after the Russian version was published first.  Where I'm critical, it sometime reads like a Hemingway novel.  Simple words describing events.
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Del
Guest
« Reply #13 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: It was probably a easier read in Rus..., posted by wsbill on Apr 2, 2002

Bill, I agree wholeheartedly with Dan's post below. While I don't have the extensive experience across Ukraine that Dan has, I feel I have a good amount of experience in Crimea, and I can assure you that the folks I've met there are actually a whole lot more 'worldly' than many I've met here and south of the border!
Please, don't confuse "less worldly goods" with "less worldly".
Your comment does is disservice to Ukrainian people.
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Dan
Guest
« Reply #14 on: April 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: It was probably a easier read in Rus..., posted by wsbill on Apr 2, 2002

I don't know Bill, but in my travels throughout Ukraine (fairly extensive, I should think) I don't think I have met a single person whom I would regard as being unaware of the world around them - and certainly not Olya nor her family. Indeed, a quick check of the CIA website will confirm that Ukraine is among the most literate countries of the world - USA included. There are, of course, continued efforts by the oligarchy and political infrastructures to 'spin' world events in a manner favorable to perpetuation of the current wealth-building mechanisms for the few - but there are also now a sufficient number of alternative communication channels that the populace is quite aware of the conflicted information and many of the problems facing them and their country. Even people from the most remote villages in Karpaty are quite well-informed.

Maybe we visited 2 different Ukraines?!?

- Dan
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