Ups and downs as usual in any marriage, but otherwise things are great.  The one big problem?  My wife hates my dogs (actually only the big one, she likes the small one).  She said if she knew my dogs didn't live outside when she was corresponding with me, she would never have continued the correspondence.  However, I did point out to her that in my very first letter, I described how my dogs slept in my bedroom, so she had no excuse for not knowing.  Any way, that's about the only problem.

One good thing, it didn't make one bit of difference to her that I didn't buy her any kind of anniversary present (and vice versa).  That's just great by me (wouldn't have been OK in either of my two previous marriages by any stretch of the imagination).  And she didn't care about woman's day either!  One thing though, she has 2 birthdays.  She was adopted (official on passport) and real birth date...that's the way they do it in Russia.  DEFINITELY have to get her presents on BOTH days...or else!

Stevo

however I am going to have to try to get you to consider thinking differently here on something. At first you may think that I am attacking you but, I am but believe me I am not

If you do not want to do anything big relative to your anniversary or International Women's Day fine but, -- you had better do something. You say that it does not mean anything to her, maybe she even tells you that it does not mean anything to her. She is a woman and it does regardless of what she says. If it is not important to her then she does not want any special attentions from you. Now this is bad because women who are really in love want this attention. They want that special attention from you.

Now her birthday is different. On your birthday you get presents all the time from people that you are not in love with so if she is not in love with you, she still would want a present.

Now Stevo, I am not saying that she is not in love with you. It was just my way of telling you that the chances of her not being more happy if you had paid attention to these dates is highly unlikely. It may be fine for now, but as the years go on she may feel something is missing from your relationship and she may find herself feeling like a woman again one day when another man gives her the attention that you are not. It will hit her big time - that there is something missing - she is not feeling special.

At the least you should have gotten her a rose and been romantic - I mean really doing your best with sincerity. It does not take much.

Stevo,  are you giving your lady fewer and fewer of these moments as the marriage moves through the months? If you think getting romantic when you want sex is a replacement you are dead wrong. In fact, if that is the most common time that you are romantic all it can do over time is backfire.

My suggestion, after reading your post - look back and see what little  things you are doing to make this lady feel special. Women are far more less likely to leave men that make them feel special.

Don't mean to hammer on you - just  some feed back. Now for all I know, you may be such a romantic guy doing special little things so dammned often that she would have been bored with anything extra on those days.

By the way, what is more important - your dog or your wife - it sounds like you letting her know - claiming no responsibility because it was in your first letter. Hey I know that the dog came first - but you are giving her a message whether you like it or not.

Lets put it this way. If you moved into her house and could not stand animals in the room with you sleeping and she had two cats that she totally adored and she said to you - I told you in my first letter about them and basically says the cats stay or you go in so many unspoken words how would you feel. Forget it, you are a man, it will not compare.

However, if she told you that her cats have always slept with her but she simply told you how special you were and that the cats would ultimately understand and they were slowly weaned out of that sleeping habit per her actions without one complaint - how would you feel about her doing that?

After being single for so long, we find married life suits us both quite well..

-Ken Williams