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Author Topic: A question for men seeking an Asian Wife  (Read 13856 times)
MarkInTx
Guest
« on: February 09, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
Hi all,

I've never posted here before, but I am a regular contributor to the Russian board, and recently the Latin board.

I have a question for those of you who have decided to look for an Asian woman. I don't ask this to be confrontational, in any way. Believe me. It is an honest question:

I have noticed in looking at profiles of Asian women -- especially those in the orient -- that the religion most of them list is Buddhist.

I guess most Filipina Ladies are Catholic. But that seems to be the exception.

Isn't this a tremendous problem? I mean, if you are a Christian, and she is a Buddhist... isn't their a major conflict from the start? (How will the children be raised? What church will you attend? What holidays are celerated, etc, etc.)

I would be curious to hear what people's opinions and real life experiences about this are...

Thanks!
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BubbaGump
Guest
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to A question for men seeking an Asian Wife, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 9, 2002

Now get back to coming up with more great posts for our board.
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MarkInTx
Guest
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Hey, you're busted buddy!, posted by BubbaGump on Feb 11, 2002

Or you incriminate yourself...

We're thick as thieves :-)
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BubbaGump
Guest
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Ha! You can't bust me..., posted by MarkInTx on Feb 11, 2002

Checking out the interboard nusances and I found you!
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MarkInTx
Guest
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to I was here on a public service mission, posted by BubbaGump on Feb 11, 2002

Inter-Board nuisances, eh?

Guilty as charged :-)
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Jeff S
Guest
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to A question for men seeking an Asian Wife, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 9, 2002

Welcome to the land of the little people. I read your posts on the Russian board all he time. My wife is Japanese. All Japanese are shinto - it's just part of the culture and life in Japan. In addition, most are Buddhist, and some are Shinto, Buddhist AND Christian (the standard joke is Shinto for this life, Budhist for the next and Christian just in-case.) I find it difficult to imagine an Asian woman (of Eastern religion - Buddhist, Taoist, Shinto, etc) asking you to convert to her beilefs. It would be completely non-sequiter. It would also be not very likely that she would reject your beiefs. I'm sure she'd go to church with you, respect your religious holidays, and participate in raising your kids in your beliefs. Eastern religions are more an approach to life than they are a specific set of beliefs. For instance in Buddhism, a mandate to improve yourself every day is part of the philosophy. This is hardly anything that would undermine Christianity. In shintoism, the concept of kami, loosely translated as "gods" in western languages, may connotate images of falso gods - quite anti-Christian, but once you really understand it it means more like "spirit" as in team spirit, or the spirit of patriotism, but used for things like the spirit of a beautiful sunset or the spirit - also hardly in conflict with Christianity. Do not think you can get an Asian person to drop their beliefs and come over to your side, though I know many devout Asian Christians. They simply add the western concepts to their own, already so interwoven into their personalities, culture, and day to day activities, that it would be impossible to extricate.

-- Jeff S.

BTW: We celebrate both holidays and raised our daughter with a knowledge of and respect for all of our respective religions (three from my wife and two from me) and an enough analytical skills to make up her own mind.
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MarkInTx
Guest
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Hi Mark!, posted by Jeff S on Feb 10, 2002

Hey Jeff,

Yeah, I've branched out.

Don't tell the guys on the Russian board though. They will all think I am slumming...

Cracks me up... how everyone thinks their women are the "best" women. Really funny when you realize that in actuality, we have ALL abandoned OUR women... the AW...

I just decided that if I were going to say that I want a wife from anywhere in the world.. Maybe I should look in places other than Russia.

I don't see the high concern for "scammers" the latin and asian boards, either. Which is nice. Maybe the women are a little more sincere?
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Jeff S
Guest
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Shhh! Don't tell, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 10, 2002

There are a number of ex-Russian bride seeking men now here on the Asian board, including at least one who was married to a Russian woman. Down this page, I started a thread on 1/30 called: "Here's an interesting question" that discusses the scammer phenonemena a bit. There are a number of opinions and responses that seem logical. I don't know myself. BTW, I don't consider that I abondoned our women. I figure many AW have abandoned womanhood in place of gender interchangibility (anything you can do I can do better) instead of femininity (See my "Yin and Yang" post on 1/16 below)

-- Jeff S.
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MarkInTx
Guest
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Shhh! Don't tell, posted by Jeff S on Feb 10, 2002

This board is a WHOLE lot quieter than the Russian board.

This one and the Latin Board COMBINED don't have the traffic of the Russian board.
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Jeff S
Guest
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to I'll tell you one thing..., posted by MarkInTx on Feb 10, 2002

That the character of these boards reflects some of the personality traits of the women we seek. The latin board is known for emotional confrontations and passionate exchanges, the Russian board for both deception and intellectual exchange, and this one for being calm, helpful, and team oriented. We very rarely have arguments here.

-- Jeff S.
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MarkInTx
Guest
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to I've heard it said..., posted by Jeff S on Feb 11, 2002


Now that some of us RWs are coming here...we'll change all of that ;-)

Seriously... I have been on the Latin board. Their emotional outbursts are NOTHING compared to the Russian Board bickering.

Most of them are a good group of guys. But there are a few who are at constant war with the other.

Even if the first guy makes a reasnable post, all of his enemies come out an slam him

It gets really tedious after awhile...
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Jeff S
Guest
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Well... there goes the neighborhood, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 11, 2002

Remember the days of houndog and cbf? About a year ago the Russian board still got the trolls but much fewer arguments. It was the Latin board that had the: "This isn't an argument. Yes it is. No it isn't. You're an a-hole. No I'm not. Yes you are..." ad infinitum. Just like the old Monte Python schtick.

- Jeff S.
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MarkInTx
Guest
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Well... there goes the neighborhood, posted by Jeff S on Feb 11, 2002

Good to know...

Cause I'm tired of it...
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BubbaGump
Guest
« Reply #13 on: February 11, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to I'll tell you one thing..., posted by MarkInTx on Feb 10, 2002

....and the petty feuds.  The harassment we get on the Russian board is unbelievable and we get it from all over the world.  At least if a guy marries an asian woman nobody will ever realize you went overseas.  I don't know why marrying a Russian women should stir up so much more anger in male hating feminists.
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Ron Boutwell
Guest
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to A question for men seeking an Asian Wife, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 9, 2002

I married a Thai wife 2 years ago and am still happily married.  I am also a Southern Baptist.  I did not take your question to be confrontational at all.  Likewise, I ask that you not take my response as such.  In a nutshell, there will only be a problem if that problem is YOURS.  :-)  The problem WE Christians tend to possess (or one of them) is the often times irritating and arrogant tendency to measure or try to understand othjer religions using our own faith as a yardstick.  This is a mistake.  It is OK to measure other Christian denominations in that manner because there is a common basis of belief to stand on.

It might surpirise you to find that although my wife is a Buddhist, she considers herself to also be a Christian.  Why? because she believes that Jesus is exactly who we Christians say he is.  First, Buddha was not a God.  Buddhists will even tell you that.  Buddha was a spiritually enlightened man.  When they pray in a Buddhist temple they are not actually praying to Buddha in the same sense that a Catholic will pray before a crucifix.  They honor Buddha as the founder of their faith or a great teacher.  When they pray to a God, they typically choose one from whatever pantheon of Gods they are aware of.  Japan will have a set of Gods that their Buddhists pray to and each predominantly Buddhist culture will likewise have a set of Gods that they choose as well.  And as Buddhists, if they choose, they can also choose Jesus or Jehova as the deity they worship if they so choose.  By Christian definitions of religion, Buddhism is more of a philosophy than a religion since it does not prescribe a deity or group of them and allows the choice of deity to be up to the individual.

You will also find that unlike many Chrisitian denominations Buddhism is not evangelical.  They do not try to convert anyone to Buddhism.  Likewise, they do not find it to be a problem being married to a non-Buddhist.  I have never met a xenophobic Buddhist.  They are far more rational and secure in their faith than we often times tend to be.  My minister knows my wife quite well and has publically stated on at least 2 occasions that if you measure her against many of the people in our church based on words alone, she is a Buddhist.  If you judge her based on her heart and her actions in relation to others and the world around her, she is an outstanding example of a Christian.  He follows by saying something like, "How is God going to finally judge us?  Based on what we SAY or what we actually DO?"  Makes sense.

The truth is, you could marry a Buddhist and within a few years, even if you do not encourage her at all, she will likely decide to be a Christian because you are and she, as a Buddhist, is not afraid to consider the validity of another religion.  Remember, they do not have Hell fire and brimstone in their religion.  They are not afraid of lightning bolts from God striking them dead for considering the validity of another faith.  In my case, I prefer to let the choce be my wife's without any coercion or pushing at all.  She would convert quickly if I told her to.  I have no doubt of that.  But it would be a conversion in name only, not in her heart.  My opinion, if it is not in her heart, it is not real.  

For the record, I was married to a fellow southern Baptist for 5 years.  Although we were of the same faith, and nationality, we had a plethora  of other differences, important ones.  If religion doesn't make you different from the one you are married to, I assure you, something else will.  :-)
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