ending my engagement...final part

[KenC]

... in response to Re: KenC. is your biography in the archi..., posted by wsbill on Jan 30, 2002

Bill,
Yes, I was divorced after 21 years of marriage and two great kids.
KenC

[Dan]

... in response to Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS gives yo..., posted by wsbill on Jan 29, 2002

KenC is the board expert on the topic, BUT, Olya and I happened onto a possible solution to the problem of the K-1 visa allowing such a short decision-making window.

If you take a look at this website - www.EnglishAmerica.com - you will find a school that focuses exclusively on teaching English to non-native English speakers. Their tuition is VERY reasonable - and they provide assistance in acquiring the necessary visas to enter the country on a student visa.

I know KenC brought Lena into the country in a smiliar (or identical) manner - though the school he used charged a REALLY high tuition.

For anyone in the Denver area, they really should look into this alternative. For others, maybe check out the schools in the area and try to find one that caters to foreign students.

Good Luck!

- Dan

[WmGo]

... in response to Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS gives yo..., posted by wsbill on Jan 29, 2002

He's from England so I think they have something like six months or a year. Ninety days is way too short a time. Too short to experiment with, although every minute of it should be utilized before walking the ailse.

[Mike]

... in response to Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS gives yo..., posted by wsbill on Jan 29, 2002

I agree with the idea that you don't have to be in love to test the waters. These women are smart and if they come here and think the life is not what they want then there's a good chance they'll leave you high and dry regardless how much love you thought was there. It only makes sense to me that they must not only like you as a person but also the life they'll have to live here, and they'll never know this until they come, and by going there over and over may improve your chances of knowing the kind of person she is, it wont guarentee that she will love you enough to suffer through things that we never considered. Although she appears to have a hard life now, I'm sure she is use to it, and will miss many parts of that life that we think are unlivable conditions. The biggest thing in this girls life I can promise you is her child! That's one thing you can't play games with.
Mike

[thesearch]

... in response to Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS gives yo..., posted by wsbill on Jan 29, 2002

Bill,

Thoughts flashed through my head as I read your post - mere thoughts mind. I thought that I would just share them with you and if there is any value for you so be it.

I will not duplicate what I read below but will say this.

There once was a time that I started dating this lady who I knew was not the lady for me but, I just wanted someone to go out and have fun with - well things happened and I found myself more deeply involved than I wanted and well, it was not meant to be.

What I am saying is that if you bring a lady over that you are not sure in your heart is the right one for you or she is not sure you are the right one for her - you can find yourself simply getting involved and things progressing when they should not if you know what I mean. In this case with bringing a woman from the FSU, you can delude yourself for the short run and, it is not as easy to end it after all that as compared to a relationship with a lady who can drive home in her car..

Also, I do not know how many times they will let you bring a different woman over. I am sure there is a point they say no. So, if you bring one over and send her back you have used one of your bullets.

Just be careful.

[Flyboy]

... in response to Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS gives yo..., posted by wsbill on Jan 29, 2002

I'll bet that if you asked any of us married guys on this board if they thought of the 90 day window as "just in case" reserve parachute, most would say "yes" and half of the guys that said "no" are lying.

You don't have anything to loose by what you are doing.  Well, except for a couple of bucks.  Most importantly, you are gaining more from the experience of trying than the experience of quitting.  Time will only tell if you and her will work out.  You are in catagory #2: "Those that make things happen."

Sorry Steve, but in the near future you will be catagory #3: "Those that wondered what happened."  Don't worry though, most of us in catagory #2 were once in catagory #3.  Drive on - new mission - good luck.

Flyboy

[Ryan]

... in response to Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS gives yo..., posted by wsbill on Jan 29, 2002

I know I should probably shut up and all but I just had a question.  Where is the LOVE man?  I want to find that woman that I just can't live without and she can't live without me.  I don't think if I found this type of women that I would say anything like you said about not bringing the boy to america. I don't know anymore is this what it is all about? We're giving them a better life and that's why they are with us?  That sucks if you ask me...  Maybe I just need to get older to see this like all you guys.
Ryan

[Charles]

... in response to Re: Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS give..., posted by Ryan on Jan 29, 2002

Ryan, you never cease to amaze me.  I agree wholeheartedly with your comments.  Sure, there are many, perhaps the vast majority, of the RW are looking for security as their primary goal.  But there are many who want that knight in shining armor as their dream in life, and stability is a part of that.  Keep looking, and maybe you will find such a woman.

[KenC]

... in response to Re: Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS give..., posted by Ryan on Jan 29, 2002

Ryan,
You have the unique ability to be an ass even when you are right!  I posted to Bill below:
Bill,
If you really don't give a sh!t, then why bother? Give THE GIRL a break and let her find someone that truely loves her. It is obvious that you don't.
KenC

[Stan B]

... in response to Re: Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS give..., posted by Ryan on Jan 29, 2002

on this one I'd say hold on to your ideals or else you'll end up settling on something less than what you want. And I don't know why anyone would want to do that.

[wsbill]

... in response to Ryan, I rarely agree w/ you, but, posted by Stan B on Jan 29, 2002

When I was talking with her and telling about the financial woes.  I said to her (as she knows german), I said "Bill, dumpkoft" (stupid) and she said "no, No".

If she thought otherwise, she probably wouldn't have said anything.  So atleast she thinks I'm no dummy... Now, I've got to work on you guys...hi hi.

[thesearch]

... in response to Re: Something interestingly happened rec..., posted by wsbill on Jan 29, 2002

Bill,

Words are powerful. I would not even jest about such - especially if the woman is strong - just my take.

[Stan B]

... in response to Re: Something interestingly happened rec..., posted by wsbill on Jan 29, 2002

but I wouldn't go into it w/ the thought that if it doesn't work out that it will be a nice 90 day vacation. I'd think that if you decide that its not going to work, that it will be hard to have fun and treat the rest of their time as a vacation. Just try to imagine the disappointment your fiancee and son would have after their hopes were crushed and the thought that they will be viewed as failures upon their return.
But I do agree with your post where you say that your aren't looking for 'the perfect woman', but that your looking for the perfect woman for you. I hope you found her.

[Charles]

... in response to Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS gives yo..., posted by wsbill on Jan 29, 2002

Bill, I must agree with Richard and Dan.  If you don't feel in your heart of hearts 110% sure that you are going to get married then if it doesn't work out the 90 day period will in all likelihood be utter misery for both of you; it won't be a vacation.  Of course, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be evaluating how you live together, but it would be extremely traumatic to go throught the K-1 process, bring a lady to America, and then have to send her back.  So my advice is that if you don't feel deep in your heart of hearts that this is the one, a 90 day "vacation" will be small comfort to both you and her and a poor rationalization of the situation.  If you've got serious doubts, you're much better off taking the route Steve just chose.

[KenC]

... in response to Re: Re: Gee, isn't that why the INS give..., posted by Charles on Jan 29, 2002

Charles,
Right on the money with your post!  Somehow, Bill thinks that he will enrich his girls life by experiencing tomatoe growing in the hills of TN.  What a "gift".  LOL
KenC