Notes from married life

[John K]

... in response to Re: Notes from married life, posted by Jeff S on Jan 4, 2002

.

[Dan]

... in response to Notes from married life, posted by John K on Jan 4, 2002

Though I am sorry to hear of some of the trials you and Marina are facing.

I'll offer this - for what it may be worth:

Olya is not so critical of America, but then again, I have gone to some lengths to show her some of the nicer parts of America. For example, we have visited the nation's capital (pre-11Sep), Las Vegas, The Grand Canyon, the Rocky Mountains - and we have plans to visit California and Orlando in the near future. If it's possible for you, now living in California, Marina may enjoy seeing some of the many sights that CA has to offer. San Francisco is a wonderful city for exploring if you live in the Northern part of the state - and San Diego in the south. DisneyLand is well-known in the FSU and would, I suspect, be a terrific diversion for you and Marina.

I know these are not the day-to-day sorts of things that will ease the pains of relocation more quickly, but if you can make plans around them, then maybe it will give her something tangible - and American - to look forward to.

Does she work yet? Or drive? Or go to school? Any/all of these things may provide some help as well. It is a bit difficult to say without knowing more about her, but perhaps there are some ideas in there that may prove useful.

I recall your story quite well - and I most certainly wish you the very best. I don't profess to have the answers - and you are further along than Olya and I in your time together, but I sure would like to hear from you from time to time.

Cheers,

- Dan

[John K]

... in response to Good to Hear From You John . . ., posted by Dan on Jan 4, 2002

She really doesn't have any desire to drive.  Never did, even though I bought a car for her.  Now that we are in California, the land of major freeways, she has even less desire to drive than ever.

Marina has expressed some interest in getting a job, but she doesn't want a sales job or a position where she has to interact with the general public.  She's still worried about being singled out because of her accent.  That, and she isn't as confident of her English as I am of it.  

We do plan on hitting some of the sites, once it warms up an extra 10 or 15 degrees.  LA is only and hour or two away, depending on traffic conditions.  We've already been there a couple of weeks ago, hunting down some Russian stores.  She found a website (www.russianla.com, I think) that lists out various places to visit.  Armed with a list of addresses and an inch and a half thick street atlas of LA, off we went...

We tried getting Dish Network's NTV/NTV+ package, but the satellite installer said we didn't have line of site and wouldn't install it.  Now we have a second installer coming out with a signal meter to see if he can still pick up the signal.  If he can, we'll luck out in getting hooked up.  But I don't have a lot of hopes at this time...

Marina has turned more antisocial since she's returned back from Ukraine.  Probably the rude awakening about her "friends" combined with an immediate move to the west coast, has made her more withdrawn towards other people.  That's why I'm almost forcing the social engagement on her.  Once she starts socializing with people, she's ok.  It's just getting her started what is the challenge.  I had this when she first came over, and it's just a matter of having to do it all over again.  She's a lot like me when I was younger.  That makes it easier to predict what I can get away with.  ;-)

[Dan]

... in response to Re: Good to Hear From You John . . ., posted by John K on Jan 4, 2002

Olya is not too much older than Marina, but the adjustment period for her, has been amazingly smooth and problem-free. I think we had a single day of semi-depression, and that is it!

John, I have your e-mail. I'll dop you a note with our telephone number and if Marina would care to call Olya sometime, she (we) would very much welcome it.

Olya's been a bit of a 'sounding board' for a couple of FSU ladies - including a couple of ladies that live in other states. Olya's also had the benefit of EXTREMELY good influence from a RW (from Moscow) that has been here in the US with her husband and daughter (they all immigrated from Moscow) for about 8 years. All in all, it has been quite a positive experience - and I know she would be able to add some optimism and positive perspective for Marina - if she'd like.

Wish we lived closer.

- Dan

[BarryM]

... in response to Re: Good to Hear From You John . . ., posted by John K on Jan 4, 2002

The satellite that the foriegn channels are on is kind of low in the southeastern part of the sky. I think that satellite may serve western Europe as well.

You may have to put up a 25ft tower to successfully get the satellite. I have mine on a 15ft tower. Line of site is critical. You can't have any obstructions at all; no tree branches or leaves. I learned the hard way. I had to move the tower around the yard until I finally found a clear spot. I really enjoy my NTV even though its not as good as American TV.

You might want to find a local Orthodox Church in order to find some good Russian-Americans and Ukrainian-American folks to socialize with. The church folks are usually very good people and socializing with them may help put her at ease with the culture shock. It all depends on the church.

You can check out http://www.oca.org and look up the nearest parish in your area. Most of the services are in English but some churches conduct the services in Slavonic or have both English and Slavonic services.

-blm

[John K]

... in response to NTV satellite., posted by BarryM on Jan 4, 2002

Putting up a tower is not an option as we live in an apartment complex.  They won't allow any permanent mountings, nor hole drilling, etc.  If we settle into a home permanently, then we will have the option to set up a dish the way we want.  For now, we are at the mercy of the satellite installation gods...

As far as the Orthodox Church goes, I've approached the idea to Marina before, but she has no desire to ever go near a church.  That makes it a little more difficult to pull off.  Perhaps if I find an actual Russian Orthodox Church I might be able to convince her to go, after a lot of talking.  Even then, I wouldn't give it too much of a chance.

[BarryM]

... in response to Re: NTV satellite., posted by John K on Jan 4, 2002

Hi John,

The OCA was the Russian Orthodox Church founded in Alaska in the late 1700's. The communist revolution put the church in limbo for many years. There was a schism in the Russian Orthodox Church and a group broke off and became ROCOR - Russian Orthodox Church Outside Russia. The remaining churches remained in communion with the Moscow Patriarchate and in 1971 was granted autocephalous(self governing) status. This is the OCA - Orthodox Church in America. The OCA is the Russian Orthodox Church combined with the churches of Bulgaria, Serbia, and most other Eastern European Orthodox Churches. ROCOR's status is still in limbo because it still has not rejoined in communion with the rest of the Orthodox Churches of the world. ROCOR is more likely to have all Slavonic services.
If you go to an OCA church, you are likely to find at least 6 people who can speak fluent Russian, and many who speak Ukrainian. As far as I know, there are no Russian Orthodox Churches in the US that are governed by Moscow.

-blm

[Stevo]

... in response to Notes from married life, posted by John K on Jan 4, 2002

ggg..nnn

[JohnG]

... in response to Notes from married life, posted by John K on Jan 4, 2002

John,

Those were some very thoughtful insights. Olga has only been here about a month and a half now, and you are quite right, it is a big adjustment for the Russian woman to go through. We have many more amenities and creature comforts available to us in the USA, but there are some sharp contrasts in our societies and the way people behave towards one another.

As I gain more mileage, I will be sure to post my experiences as well. Again, thanks for your post. Well-written too! And the best of luck to you both.

John